Comment by Robert on September 16, 2009 at 9:44am

Hey John - you're allowed to be whiny and downbeat. Alopecia is a pain in the a**!

Just don't let it beat you - that's easy for me to say when you read some of my postings when I've been so low that it's been difficult to pull myself back up.

I often question why I have been so upset about my AA - I'm a man so I'm not meant to worry about being bald, but it bothers me so much. You're in the same boat but there is hope out there. It also bothers me that there is no control over it, and there doesn't appear to be a cure. It's a waiting game and it is SO frustrating! My heart sinks each time I find a new spot.

I can't think of the words to help other than I hope tomorrow is better for you, and that the good days outnumber the bad. This is a terrible condition. It is only hair but it's a big part of our appearance and self confidence.

You've been a source of help for me since you joined and you're a very active member of the forum so there are so many people grateful for your help and encouragement. Just hang in there buddy - we're all rooting for each other that remission kicks in.

BTW Congrats on getting the BP down!

Take care

Comment by JeffreySF on September 16, 2009 at 7:07pm

Hey John,

You do have so many good things going on in your life right now. I'm sorry the alopecia is trying to spoil it.
Just know you have all of Alopecia World as part of your solid ground.

Hope you had a good day my friend.

Jeffrey

Comment by Ernesto on September 16, 2009 at 8:37pm

Dude, I'm right there with you. My friends all say i need to relax cuz it will go away. My Dermo says, "you are making progress. You need to be patient, as this most likely clears up within a year." One of my co-workers said I'm growing in new hair in my spot. But then I shower and see little hairs in my hand after shampooing. I know that can't be good. The injections hurt like hell. I have one spot that has grown to about 5 by 7 centimeters. The weird thing is, I can actually physically feel the spot. Because I'm SO aware of it. I haven't gone out in a while because it's embarrassing. Then I have days when I'm like "fuck it, it is what it is." Then someone notices it and asks or says it looks better. I don't want it to look better. I want it to go away. True, life can be worse, and I have it pretty good, but it's still a horrible thing to have to go through. The other night, I shaved my head down on the sides and back, as that's how I wear my hair these days, sort of like a mohawk. When I shaved it down, I teared up. Not knowing what will come is the worst part of it all. Still, my friend was right, and I am showing a little bit of regrowth, and inside the spot, there is stubble. Some dark hair and some really light hair. All of my friends say it doesn't look that bad. I'm afraid to wear a hat because I'm scared it will make it worse. One of my vendors stopped by the office and noticed it. He said, "oh you have a patch." I told him what it was and asked him if it looked bad. He simply shrugged and said it's only hair, you're a handsome dude anyway." That should have made me feel better. It kind of did, but then it also made me more sad. But what else can I do? I just keep hearing people say that 80% go into full remission within a year. I have to believe that. It's even harder when you come on a site like this, and even though it does give us all a place to support each other, it seems like the majority have AT or AU. Is that my fate? Sorry for the long rant, but we're all going through the same thing. Just hold your head up and have a glass of wine. :)

Comment by Robert on September 17, 2009 at 4:41am

Hi Ernesto

I can relate to so much on your post especially the part about AT/AU and is this my fate.

I teared up while trying to cover my biggest patch this morning as it just wasn't doing what I want it to do. There's quite a bit of regrowth in there but most of it is white.

I hate this condition.

Comment by Barbara on September 17, 2009 at 5:55am

Other than comments about being men, I could have written these blogs myself! I went to the dermotologist this week for the painful shots again. I told him "Some spots are regrowing, some have stalled, and once again this week I have new areas." It is so disheartening. AA has a mind of its own. I did ask the derm about using white iodine and he said that works on the same principle as the ointment he gave me - it acts as an irritant and I guess it is supposed to chase those antibodies away from the attacking the follicles.

I immediately bought a hairpiece when I was diagnosed and very, very few know I have this. AA is so disheartening and the worst part is that it is so unpredictable. If I knew I would be bald, I'd shave what was left and go with a full wig. If I knew it would stay like this I would go with DermMatch and smaller hairpieces (less expensive hair pieces), if I knew I would get my hair back in a year and it would stay I would probably actually tell people! Oh - a hat will not make it worse. Just gives you piece of mind for those few hours you are out in public and free of insecurities!

The only good thing about this disease is that I have people on this site who totally understand! It's not "just hair".

Comment by John M. on September 17, 2009 at 11:01am

Thanks all who took the time to comment here. Yesterday was certainly a hell of a day, but today is a different day (one would hope). You've all, in one way or another, shared your experiences to show solidarity in frustration, fear, anxiety, and in some cases, hope. I really, really appreciate that. I will do my best to keep my chin up, and my hopes high. I hope and pray for the same for all those on AW.

Comment