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A nice experience at the gym - Rock the bald look, get jewelry from strangers
I had a really nice experience today at the gym that I want to share. I was wearing my tank top that I had made on Cafe Press. On the front it says: "Yes, I'm bald...get over it." On the back it says: "No hair. No problem." As usual, my bald head was uncovered. I was most of the way through my weight training.
A woman I don't know came up to me and took off her necklace and handed it to me. It's a beautiful, delicate silver piece. She told me that her sister is a jewelry designer, and that she wanted me to have it. I was surprised, thanked her, and added something to the effect of "...but, I don't have cancer." She responded that it doesn't matter; that I'm "out". She asked me about my hair loss and I briefly explained. She had heard of the National Bald Out on the local news, and I told her I was the one who started that. Then we both got back to our workouts.
An experience like this makes up for the little kids that point and giggle at a bald lady, or the people who occasionally won't stop staring (I came up with the "Yes, I'm bald...get over it" for these types.) It made my day, and I'm sure I'll remember the positive feelings whenever I wear the necklace.
Every time a woman goes out in public bald, we become less invisible, and the day gets closer where we'll all feel free to have the same choices that men have: to wear a wig or hairpiece, OR to go uncovered.
A woman I don't know came up to me and took off her necklace and handed it to me. It's a beautiful, delicate silver piece. She told me that her sister is a jewelry designer, and that she wanted me to have it. I was surprised, thanked her, and added something to the effect of "...but, I don't have cancer." She responded that it doesn't matter; that I'm "out". She asked me about my hair loss and I briefly explained. She had heard of the National Bald Out on the local news, and I told her I was the one who started that. Then we both got back to our workouts.
An experience like this makes up for the little kids that point and giggle at a bald lady, or the people who occasionally won't stop staring (I came up with the "Yes, I'm bald...get over it" for these types.) It made my day, and I'm sure I'll remember the positive feelings whenever I wear the necklace.
Every time a woman goes out in public bald, we become less invisible, and the day gets closer where we'll all feel free to have the same choices that men have: to wear a wig or hairpiece, OR to go uncovered.
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Comment by Natalie on December 2, 2009 at 9:30pm
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Wow! Awesome story, Mary :) I love when people are so open and accepting like that! It really gives me hope that there are truly good people out there.
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Comment by Mary on December 2, 2009 at 11:39pm
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There are lots of good people who don't care whether or not a person has hair. It's just that a lot of other people need some consciousness-raising. ( ;-)
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Comment by Cal on December 3, 2009 at 4:25am
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Oh, how lovely! And what a brilliant story to go with some lovely jewellery.
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Comment by meg on December 3, 2009 at 7:49am
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What can one say but "Lovely' wish more people could act from their hearts.
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Comment by Mallory Crowner on December 3, 2009 at 3:26pm
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So cool! It is so nice to be reminded of the good people out there. My biggest issue with the whole "do you have cancer?" question is that when I say no, the person asking doesn't seem to care too much for my story after that. It's frustrating! But what a great feeling to know that someone appreciates us for being us. ;o)
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Yes, I get the feeling that sometimes they seem strangely disappointed that I DON'T have cancer. But, more often than that, the person wants to keep talking, wants to hear about alopecia, etc. When they understand the fact that I'm (more than likely) PERMANENTLY bald, they're really sympathetic and seem to relate to it on a level that women who've never lost their hair can't. Women who have had cancer themselves seem particularly happy and empowered to see a woman without hair going bald in public, even though their hair has grown back.
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Comment by Julia McDowell on December 4, 2009 at 5:20am
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What a lovely story! I'm going to get my son to make me a t-shirt like yours! I love your attitude - you are my hero! And one day (when the weather gets warmer) I WILL go out bald! Jamaica will be a dress rehearsal.
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Thanks, Julia!
I was fully "out" and bald in public for the first time in Hawaii, about 2 weeks after I shaved my head (before I went AU shortly after). I took the wig along with me to Hawaii, but it was warm there. Being in a completely new place where no one knew me helped.
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Comment by Melissa Harris on December 7, 2009 at 11:59pm
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WOW Thanks MAry for sharing! Although I'm one of the "closet" alopecian's in my opinion, that doesn't stop me from admiring your strength and courage. Maybe I'm taking really small baby steps with it, but it always makes me feel better to hear your stories. I wish the world and people's views were different sometimes, but I know down inside I got to change myself and then I'll be ok. Thanks! Melissa
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Thanks, Melissa. That makes me feel really good.
Step by step.
( ;-)
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