So admittedly, there is very little good about having Alopecia and whatever happens, any positives that come out of it do not, in my eyes, outweigh the terrible burden of having no hair. However, I realised one of those positives today and feel the need to share it.

In fact the drama began yesterday, in the freezing cold, wet town of Queenstown, New Zealand. I’m here for a few days after nearly a year away from home. The morning had gone well, after a disappointing beginning whereby my day tour had been cancelled. I instead signed up to do a bungy jump and spent the morning being rather nervous and then strangely elated after hurling myself southwards off of a bridge over a gushing river. The jump itself was hideously terrifying but I felt pleased once it was all over. Anyway, I’m digressing.

The jump was over and I got the bus back into Queenstown, the rain was that sort of constant drizzle and it was so cold outside that my feet hurt in my shoes. I wasn’t sure what to do so I began wondering around the town and looking in the shops. There I was, minding my own business, looking at some clothes that looked delightfully warm when he approached me and out of nowhere began complimenting my smile and chatting as though we were old friends. I talked back, it’s what I do, I’m a friendly person, I don’t like to be rude so we talked about our travels and the dismal weather and our cancelled trips and the he asked me to come for a drink, I panicked and said yes.

A while later and I’m sitting in a bar being talked at by a man whose age is difficult to predict and whose life seems rather too dull. He’s talking about web pages, I’m dreaming up an escape. Just when I’ve announced my need to leave and imaginary evening plans I make yet another schoolboy error. I take out my phone. He’s seen it, I can’t pretend it’s not there and there we are, me thinking of a way to not give him my number and him pestering me for it. He wins. Again. Alas, I leave the country in 2 days, no harm done.

3 missed calls and 5 texts later and I’m beginning to think “big harm done” I have a whole day left in Queenstown, I want to go out tomorrow, do some exploring and I have yet to get a Fergburger, which involves queuing for a while in broad daylight on the main street of Queenstown he’ll see me. I turn my phone off and sleep and when I wake up in the morning it hits me. The greatest plan I could ever dream up, there’s a wig in my bag. I shall spend the day in disguise. I shall get a Fergburger. The wigs on, long dark hair flowing from beneath a hat which yesterday was empty, I draw on my eyebrows a little differently and smile in the mirror, my room mate walks in and almost falls over his snow boots in shock and I instantly know the plan’s worked.

The suns shining outside, I climb a mountain, ride a gondola and eat a Fergburger, in wonderful, uninterrupted peace!