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A rant, and a rave?
Well my journey with AA has been bumpy so far. And I'm sure that has been the story for many at the first stages. I'm still adjusting, and have my good days and bad. I'm sure I'm not alone in that, and don't want to sound whiny at all, but something happened today that hurt. And I've not had to feel this way before...
But before all that, I'll start with the good. Over the past couple weeks, I've been wearing my wigs. On the very first day I wore my first one, I had an interesting experience with a customer at work. I work retail, so I deal with the public every day. I've been fortunate that my company allows me to wear the scarves or wraps. However on day 1 of the wig, after spending some time helping a customer, right as she went to leave, she asked if she could as me something sort of personal. I hesitantly said yes... She then asked "Where do you get your hair done? It is gorgeous!" I was stunned! I very rarely had compliments on my real hair before, and NEVER from a complete stranger! I must have looked like a deer in headlights, and responded by saying it was a wig. She seemed utterly shocked! Then the conversation turned to why I was wearing it, and after telling her I had AA, she proceeded to ask questions, because, of course she'd never heard of it. I felt good educating someone else on the disorder, and she once again complimented me on her way out the door. I've had at least 3 more situations like that in the past few weeks, and every time it shocks me! I'm still amazed every time!
Now for the rant...
Today my dad decided he'd take my car up to get it filled up with gas, which was very nice of him. Well he locked himself out of it at the gas station, and this was frustrating, as we were trying to get ready to go out to families for Thanksgiving dinner. I had to take mom's car and go take the extra keys, and flew out of the house without a wig, scarf, or hat! Upon arrival to the gas station I realized I'd forgotten my "disguise", and since I wasn't able to find his spare key, he took the car back to the house, while I waited with my car. I felt eyes on me, but tried not to think about it until I heard the first snickers of laughter. I turned around to see not 1, but 2 different sets of people staring, and 1 even pointing, laughing at me. I felt so embarrassed!
I have not had that feeling yet with my AA, and I didn't even know how to respond. I pulled up the hood on my jacket and came home and cried... and cried and cried. I hate that I let it affect me so much, and I hate that those folks were so uneducated about things, (and downright rude), but more than that, I hate that they made me cry. I try to be a strong person. And I've been through a lot worse lately, so I feel as though I shouldn't have reacted like that.
It made me realize once again how thankful I am to have found this site.. Since there is so little knowledge of alopecia among the general public, it's nice to have someplace to come when I'm feeling so down about it. Thank you all again, SO much for all your comments, emails, and simple kind words while I adjust this this.
But before all that, I'll start with the good. Over the past couple weeks, I've been wearing my wigs. On the very first day I wore my first one, I had an interesting experience with a customer at work. I work retail, so I deal with the public every day. I've been fortunate that my company allows me to wear the scarves or wraps. However on day 1 of the wig, after spending some time helping a customer, right as she went to leave, she asked if she could as me something sort of personal. I hesitantly said yes... She then asked "Where do you get your hair done? It is gorgeous!" I was stunned! I very rarely had compliments on my real hair before, and NEVER from a complete stranger! I must have looked like a deer in headlights, and responded by saying it was a wig. She seemed utterly shocked! Then the conversation turned to why I was wearing it, and after telling her I had AA, she proceeded to ask questions, because, of course she'd never heard of it. I felt good educating someone else on the disorder, and she once again complimented me on her way out the door. I've had at least 3 more situations like that in the past few weeks, and every time it shocks me! I'm still amazed every time!
Now for the rant...
Today my dad decided he'd take my car up to get it filled up with gas, which was very nice of him. Well he locked himself out of it at the gas station, and this was frustrating, as we were trying to get ready to go out to families for Thanksgiving dinner. I had to take mom's car and go take the extra keys, and flew out of the house without a wig, scarf, or hat! Upon arrival to the gas station I realized I'd forgotten my "disguise", and since I wasn't able to find his spare key, he took the car back to the house, while I waited with my car. I felt eyes on me, but tried not to think about it until I heard the first snickers of laughter. I turned around to see not 1, but 2 different sets of people staring, and 1 even pointing, laughing at me. I felt so embarrassed!
I have not had that feeling yet with my AA, and I didn't even know how to respond. I pulled up the hood on my jacket and came home and cried... and cried and cried. I hate that I let it affect me so much, and I hate that those folks were so uneducated about things, (and downright rude), but more than that, I hate that they made me cry. I try to be a strong person. And I've been through a lot worse lately, so I feel as though I shouldn't have reacted like that.
It made me realize once again how thankful I am to have found this site.. Since there is so little knowledge of alopecia among the general public, it's nice to have someplace to come when I'm feeling so down about it. Thank you all again, SO much for all your comments, emails, and simple kind words while I adjust this this.
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Comment by Pat on November 26, 2009 at 11:43pm
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Callie, you reacted like most of us would in that situation so try not to be so hard on yourself. Just going out the door without either a wig or scarf on is a huge step for me ... and that's in my own backyard! So in my mind you show a lot of strength and courage and those idiots who pointed and laughed are the ones that should be ashamed of themselves. I just can't fathom how those types of people think. If that happened to me I would be a mess, I know I would, and would have been a complete write-off for days. Isn't it great you can share this with us and not feel so alone when dealing with these confronting situations? Also no matter what compliments we get when we look good in our wigs, it just takes one incident like this to make us feel terrible again. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I send you a big hug.
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Comment by Jess (Jordyn's Mom) on November 27, 2009 at 11:20am
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Callie people out there are ignorant..you could have had cancer for all they know...People are so ignorant they should stop to think that it could be them..they dont think about it that way..I have grown adults who point and stare at my 8 yr old daughter..she doesnt wear her wigs too oftern she loves her crocheted beanies. So her baldness is right out there in there face..she holds her head proud and goes about her business..even if she catching them staring she will start rubbing her head...as my saying goes...God made everyone bald...he gave the ugly ones hair!!!!
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Comment by Melissa Harris on November 27, 2009 at 1:27pm
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I can't believe that people actually did that to you! Were they younger kids or what? That is crazy!! I'm sorry that happened to you! I think I would have reacted the same way. I'm very sensitive to what people think and say and I wish I was not like that!! I don't think I would ever go out with something on, I think it would kill me! I so admire people on here that do! Just remember those people don't mean anything to you and the people that love you will always love you no matter what! We are no different in the inside than anyone else! I'm glad that you were able to vent on here too, that's what it is for! Take care and keep your head up girl! I'm here for you too! Melissa :)
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Comment by lynne on November 27, 2009 at 3:59pm
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hiya callie, it is very very hard wen there is some selfish people out there, i have also had people ask me wat colour my hair is suppose to be as it looks yellow ornage and not rite, it makes me feel so sad that people can have the nerve to say things like that, wen i wore my bandana at work people were starin all the time and i felt so uneasy, i still get very paranoid about my wig not lookin real, i still dont know wat to say in these awkward situations,
but hang there as we have to realise that those people are not worth the bother and they will have a crap life wen they treat people like that, they'll end up lonely, were all here wenever u nd a chat, rant or just a blether, take care, speak sn xx
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Comment by Angela on November 27, 2009 at 5:44pm
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Callie, you are a beautiful young lady. No one should have to deal with such rudeness and offensiveness. You are a strong person so plz take a deep breathe, smile and feel sorry for those ignorant miserable people.
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Comment by Callie on November 27, 2009 at 11:43pm
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Thank you all so much for the kind comments, and words of wisdom! I'm feeling a bit better about it today, still a little upset with myself for letting it get to me that much, but I will not let that happen again. If something like that ever happens again, I'll loudly and proudly yell, I have Alopecia, have you ever heard of it? If not, learn something before you go poking fun, because karma is a bitch!" And hopefully next time I'll be sporting my AW t-shirt I ordered from cafepress.com!
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Comment by Mary on November 28, 2009 at 1:31am
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Callie - be strong. You happened to run into some idiots, but I can tell you that in over a year of going everywhere bald, the only negative experience I've had was one guy who wouldn't quit staring at me. I said "Yes, I'm bald!" to him twice before he looked away. Then he came over and apologized.
I just had a personalized T-shirt on Cafe Press (it's easy) that says on the front: "Yes, I'm bald...get over it!", and on the back: "No hair. No problem." I find that if I act like there's nothing unusual about me, other people mostly act the same way. Good luck...be proud of who you are.
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Comment by Lionel on November 28, 2009 at 2:13pm
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Wow I know the feeling of people staring at you, even though no one has really laughed at me because of it. I can imagine how you must have felt. I have the same thing that I hate it that it can make me cry, I try to be strong about it. And since I got my wig it has gotten better, I showered together with other people I didn't know and put my wig on in front of them, I didn't care (showers like in gymclasses) When I told people that I had AA i never had gotten a bad reaction to it, so now I know it is not really that bad to have AA. I sort of learnt to live with it. I do have to get used to wearing a wig though, but that will come over time.
Thank you for sharing your story! I fully understand you.
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Comment by John M. on November 29, 2009 at 9:26pm
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Hi Callie - first, I have to say how great it is that you've been such an active member of this site. Secondly, I'm really sorry to hear that you encountered such rude behavior. The thing is, if those folks knew how ridiculously hard losing one's hair is, they would NEVER behave that way. They're just taking what they have for granted, and what we KNOW to be quite precious. I hope it didn't ruin your holiday weekend and that you found many, many things to be thankful for in spite of those jerks. Chin up, and look forward to Christmastime ahead! :-)
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