Accepting or not accepting

At the moment I'm not really sure where I am!
Sometimes I say I've accepted my hair loss and other times I feel inexplicably sad and sorry its all gone. My friends say they don't know how I have cope so well, and I can honestly say, I think I have coped well but sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder whether I have truly accepted my hairloss...sounds wierd maybe...just don't really know where I am at the moment.

Its definitely like an unexpected voyage of self-discovery. As a christian I don't believe God makes mistakes. Taking my hair away is all part of His loving plan. I never for one minute doubt that. When my husband and I were courting (old fashioned word i know!) He sent me a verse from an old hymn which I just loved...

Gods purposes will ripen fast
Unfolding every hour
The bud may have a bitter taste
But sweet will be the flower...

(from William Cowpers hymn..God moves in a mysterious way)

I really should blog more...its so therapeutic!!

Will write more soon.

Views: 1

Comment by Natalie on December 1, 2009 at 10:50am
Hi Sarah! Thanks for your comments on my picture :) I think that finding acceptance with alopecia is a daily process; some days are harder than others. I am losing my eyelashes now and am pretty bummed about it (I always took pride in my beautiful long lashes), but I've realized that this journey is making me a stronger person everyday. Good luck and feel free to ask me anything! :)
Comment by Sarah on December 1, 2009 at 11:46am
yes! my eyebrows and eyelashes are going too and its really annoying! i know what you mean though - i do feel stronger because of all this and my husband is brilliant - i guess thats how it should be!
at the moment i feel like I need to try different wigs - i have a human hair one supplied by the NHS! i'm entitled to one a year but sometimes i feel like a change. I just have to get good with that eyebrow pencil...
Comment by josh on December 1, 2009 at 11:58am
Its a natural feeling of alopecia...as time passes you will learn how handle this in all aspects...it like you will get more mature about this disease and know how to live with it. When I first I got it I thought I was the only person suffering it...
Comment by Cal on December 1, 2009 at 12:35pm
It definitely comes and goes, the acceptance. I was so pleased to have taken control and felt like I was rocking the bald look last month, now I'm hiding in my hats and wishing none of it had happened. Swings and roundabouts, I suppose, as is much of life.

I don't have any religious faith myself but I do believe that we just have work with what we get and grow from it, so in the long run we will all find some strength that we maybe didn't know we had as we experience alopecia.
Comment by Melissa Harris on December 1, 2009 at 12:48pm
I know exactly what you mean! I am a Christian myself so I think it makes it a little better to know that God has a purpose for everyone and sometimes we just don't understand why some things happen. I know that no matter what, we will live on and be ok and we still need to raise our kids and enjoy the life that we have left. The acceptance does take a lot of time and it does go back and forth, we just need to be steady and focus on God and I think we will be ok. There are so many other things in life that are good. I dont want miss it! Stay strong in faith! Melissa :)
Comment by Seadra on December 1, 2009 at 3:48pm
The ride is bumpy, there's no doubt...but if I stop and meditate on it a while, I always come to the same realization. We are healthy lively people who happen to not have hair. It's really quite simple. There are much worse things in the world (I try not to use this as consolation as it seems so insensitive, but the fact is it's true) that can happen to people and all beings deal with their own losses and sadnesses. This is just one of ours. I do believe there must be good coming to all of us out of this, like a stronger sense of self or a broader range of acceptance in the world. We are really quite unique in this aspect, so let's celebrate the tiny little things sometimes.... :) Blessings!
Comment by Linda on December 2, 2009 at 2:26pm
I agree with what all of you have written. My acceptance comes and goes... I don't have one single hair on my whole body. It all fell out about nine months ago. I really miss my eyebrows and eyelashes....My friends think I am doing well with this too.It really is just a show...I feel like I am always in a costume, with my wig, drawn on eyebrows and eyeliner... I have never met or heard of anyone with alopecia until I went on this web site. I read the blogs everyday and I can relate to all of you, it is very comforting to know I am not alone. I also have a verse I like, "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly", some days I feel like the caterpillar...I am still deal with a bald beautiful butterfly inside...Best to all of you..
Comment by Sarah on December 3, 2009 at 11:27am
Wow....All your comments are so brilliant - its just so nice to be able to talk to others going through the same thing. Dom...I LOVE the poem...I am going to print it out and plaster it by my kitchen sink!! thank you!!

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