My family is so supportive about my AU, and they always encourage me to do what I feel is best for me. It was ok when I asked for a human hair wig, it was ok when I just wanted to go without any hair, and it was ok to them when I went through the stage of not letting anyone seeing me bald. It almost seems like when I'm walking around the house without any hair, I get more attention. Mom always looks at me like showing people I'm bald is me being brave, so I get more praise from her. When I have a wig on, its like she thinks I'm hiding in a shell, so she doesnt have the same reaction. I don't know what to say to her. Its not like she forces me to wear the wig, or not to, but I wish she would understand that I want to wear the wig for a few reasons. 1. She always keeps the fans on, so if I'm bald, my ears get REALLY cold. 2.It makes me feel prettier, and I have a bit more confidence when I'm having a good wig day 3. My brother wont walk up behind me and rub my head for an hour.
It feels so weird saying my mom is more proud of me for having AU, when I hear people say how upset their mom is. My mom doesn't think of AU as a weakness or anything, and really it isn't for me, but its like she wants to make sure I show everyone how good I've been doing with dealing by me going bald. I've gone so long wearing a wig that yesterday when I decided to go without the wig, people couldn't look me in the eyes (they were focused on my head) and there was barely any talking going on. I felt alien. The only reason I went bald was because of me reading about the people on AW who had the courage to live without a wig. They were so confident in themselves to just live life the way they wanted to, not worrying about what other people would say.
I don't really know how to just accept being bald anymore. It feels like I kind of lost my stregnth to do it...if that seems possible. I love my mom, and I know she really wants the best, but her pushing me kind of mad me lose the confidence I had if that makes sense. I was almost to the point where I could throw away my wig and say who cares, when I had to drop all the way back to the bottom.