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Alopecia and separation
I was diagnosed with AA 2 month ago. It was really difficult to see my hair falling everyday on the pillow, bathroom, and everywhere in my house and at my work. I felt like as though I was going to look like a monster... I finally shaved my hair off a month ago, and I've been feeling much better since then. I finally felt like I was getting a control of myself and this disease. I still have up and down, and have a good cry once in a while. While all this was happening to me, I had to deal with my drug addict husband at the same time. His addiction has started going really bad about 2 and half years ago.I just could not handle his problem any more when I have my own problem. My emotions were going like a roller coaster everyday, and finally decided to end my 4 years marriage with him. I'm scared of my future and pretty anxious of being single mother of 2 in the city where I don't even have any of my family. But I know that I am doing the right thing, and I will finally see the bright side of life in the near future. I just wanted to post my feeling and situation in here if I can get any comment or support, I would appreciate it.
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Comment by BTB (John) on November 10, 2011 at 10:46pm
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Hi make my wife a fiend and message her Par has some insight on your post Jihn
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Comment by Lili on November 10, 2011 at 11:51pm
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I'm so sorry to hear about you and your husband...I think you're really strong to make a break with him. My thoughts are with you and your family, hugs...going through a divorce during a time like now must be really hard, my thoughts are with you. Stay strong, xoxo
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Comment by Tallgirl on November 11, 2011 at 2:12am
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I think "Jihn" meant "friend" and "Pat."
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Comment by mmmm on November 11, 2011 at 10:34am
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Hi Lili. Thank you for your comment. It is very hard but I know its for all the best for my kids and myself. I don't need someone like that around my kids. I for sure do NOT want my son to group up being like him. I think getting alopecia got me so strong emotionally, and gave me the colleage to do this. It's the way of thinking, I guess. I hope that I can say I am glad to get alopecia someday:)
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Comment by Dana on November 12, 2011 at 2:42pm
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Hi Miho, I have been in your shoes and believe me you are doing the right thing. It took me awhile to learn but I was much better off. He never got any better and now lives with his parents, I felt really bad for not staying and trying to help him but like you said I really have a lot of my own things going on, I cannot take care of someone who refuses to take care of themselves. Good luck, I hope it works out as you would like......anything is better than that.
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Comment by charlene sage on November 12, 2011 at 2:57pm
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Good for you Miho!!!!!!
Realizing that you need to put yourself and your kids needs before his. Being a single mom is hard work. But we do survive and our kids appreciate the fact that they have a strong mom. There will be hard times ahead. But take them as they come. Don't dwell on them or look for reasons to justify going back to him. Both you and your kids will be better for it. You all deserve better.
I have found that stress is a major trigger for my AA. It is stressful enough coming to terms with this and accepting it. You don't need a man in yours life that is going to cause more stress to that. Women truly are the stronger sex, we prove that every day. You are alot stronger than you realize. And we are all here for you.
I wish you all the best of luck! And remember, sometimes you just need to stop and take a deep breathe and then move on.
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Comment by Herminia on November 12, 2011 at 5:24pm
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Things get bad.. but they do get better. I have had Alopecia since I was 8 and trust me, lots of ups and downs. I am a single mom, I work full-time and I'm a college student. Having Alopecia Areata is hard enough, and then being single makes it worse. Hang in there sister.. we have to make the best of whatever God gave us. Just remember, it can always be worse.
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Comment by Norm on November 12, 2011 at 7:10pm
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Hell's Bells, John, what were you on when you wrote that? "Make my wife a fiend"?? That's a first on here.... OK, I'll wait till the wee small hours, then have a go at raising her from the nether regions, and we can have a chat about your spelling. ;)
Miho, sorry to hear things are crap at the mo', but that's how life works - and if it wasn't for the lousy stuff, we wouldn't appreciate the ace stuff as much, would we?
For what it's worth, I think you've done exactly the right thing by ditching the hair and the hubby - it's all about taking control, and now you've done exactly that, doesn't it feel good?
So this is the New You now - another phase in your life, with the future wide open. And because you're so obviously helping yourself, you'll get loads of help and support from others too! Go for it, Kiddo! :)
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Thank you all for the comments. I cried as reading all the comments. I can't appreciate enough for those who left a comment for me. This is my first time I wrote myself in any social website as I do not like sharing my personal life with others, but this site is different. Knowing that everybody in here knows what I have to deal with everyday, and how it feels when looking at myself in the mirror, just makes me feel much closer to people in here I have been packing my stuff all this weekend, and just really realizing that this is going to happen. I'm really going to leave him this time for sure. I'm about to start my new life with alopecia, but feel much stronger than ever!
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