Alopecia & things I can't experience with my daughter

my daughter is 2 yrs old and shes starting to wonder why her mommy does not have hair
i would love for her nd myself to play hair salon like i did with my mom
she gets upset that she cant do mommy hair and it is a lil
stressful trying to explain it to her i have had alopecia for a yr now
and it has knocking my self esteem down i really lost of words
on how i feel cause who wants to be a woman
nd bald

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Comment by Margaret Brennan on August 29, 2013 at 9:13pm

I am sorry to say this but I had a very negative reaction to your posting. I cannot remember what I told my kids about their having a mom with no hair. I had lost my hair finally totally at age 19 so that was just the way I was. I wore wigs but don't remember ever playing "hair" stuff with my kids. We read, we watch tv, we played Legos, we did crafts etc. we went shopping for clothes and food and were just happy to be together. I think you need to focus on the positives. You are probably a very caring person, someone someone would love to love. when I met my husband to be - I was scared to death about the hair stuff - when I decided we were probably going to be a lifetime relationship I had to tell him. when i did he just laughed. we would make a great pair he said - I have no front teeth and you have no hair. I knew then this was my guy.. there are lots of nice men out there.

Comment by Nads on August 26, 2013 at 5:40pm
Just get a really pretty wig, like a red wig, and show her how to style it and make it pretty. That's what MY MOM did when SHE LOST HER HAIR. I have hereditary alopeicia and she told me that someday I would go through the same thing. Anyway, it's a good educational tool and your daughter can learn about alopecia just like I did, from MY mom.
Comment by Dena on August 26, 2013 at 1:53pm

I agree with Bonnie about doing your nails. That is one thing me and my daughter do together all the time. I was really missing fixing her hair in pretty styles. She had a dance recital that was coming up and I decided we would go have her nails done for it. She loved it. Now she is known as the child who always has her nails done. We do them at home, but on special occasions she gets to go get them done at the nail place. These days you can get really creative doing nails. Right now she is wearing some of the stick on kind that look like flowers. She loves it and often paints mine in some really interesting colors.

Comment by Sunflower25 on August 26, 2013 at 11:36am

I would totally get an inexpensive bright pink wig to wear just for these fun things. :)

Comment by butta on August 26, 2013 at 8:39am
i thank you all for your encouraging words yes it very hard i have a tattoo on my head
which mu daughter think is very cool and says i want a tattoo on my head like mommy
i do the tattoo thing with her often i buy 200 a $1 a pack nd put them all on her arms and legs
nd she says she a rockstar lol at times i feel like she is the reason i havent gaven up she gives
me hope
Comment by Bonnie on August 26, 2013 at 5:39am
As a mother of 8 and baldie of 10 (years that is), I hope my words bring you some hope and comfort. This gets better. I promise. the first years are nightmarish, but after that, it is amazing. I can't imagine not being bald now. I never realized how low my self-esteem was until I had to fight for it. Society had so much power of my self image, and I had no idea, but once I really stepped outside societies view of "normal", I was free to find and define my own beauty. As soon as you accept you, others will follow your cue. You can look like anything as long as you do it condidently. Now tomothering without hair, I have older kids, so the hair thing is their special thing. I barely even brush my little one's hair, because i've gotten to where I seldom even think of hair. But mommy has her own special times, like painting nails. Your daughter will either learn to love or hate your allopacia based on how she sees it affects you. She will draw pictures, and talk about it. She will make comparisons, and contrasts with the things around her. That is all just part of her figuring out the wonders of life. Don't worry. It would happen anyway. My kids all were fascinated with a skin tag on my husband's back, for example. Just know you are a beautiful and loving mom, just the way you are. It gets easier. I promise.
Comment by itsmeehtalia on August 26, 2013 at 1:08am
My daughter is two, also. It's just curiosity and the explanation can wait, you can just make it something easy and simple. My daughter sees me with a bandana, a wig, and little hair. My alopecia worsened after having her. Don't be discouraged, you can still play salon with a wig if you're okay with it, my daughter likes to mess with mine while its on my head. Don't let alopecia stop you from doing things you think you can't do, because there probably is a way around it. Feel better. ^_^ I somehow got to the point of laughing instead of feeling sad when I walked into a beauty supply store with my daughter and there was a manaquin head with hair on a shelf and she said "mommy, that's your hair??"
Comment by sarojas1 on August 26, 2013 at 12:45am
I understand Leelee...I feel bad sometimes when my daughter plays with my hair or complements it. I lay awake many nights fearing she experiences a worst nightmare at school & it change her beautiful spirit. I don't care how or what grows back just give her her dang hair back! But then I remember how far worse it could be n thank my higher power for a good day. I really truly believe hair is not a big deal but I know how easier life would be if it weren't an issue. Since we can't change it (right now) lets focus on what we can do...empower ourselves n our babies!
Comment by Leelee on August 25, 2013 at 11:51pm
I'm on the other side of this...I have a full head of hair and my 8 yet old daughter who has alopecia has none, I miss making braids or just combing her hair, I just brought her a wig and it was one of the hardest things I ever did. I just feel so scared that she will be picked on in school. I have a great support staff at her school, but being a veteran teacher, I know kids are cruel, I hope and pray every day that she gets her hair back. This is just so sad and scary and I feel like crying all the time.
Comment by Ellen on August 25, 2013 at 11:44pm
Focus on all the amazing things besides playing hair that you can share with your daughter. Love, laughter, play, exploration, dance, kindness. There is as adjustment that women face with alopecia and their idea of beauty. The best gift you can give her is your love.

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