Comment by Helen on August 25, 2013 at 11:17pm

You speak many of my feelings. It is very difficult. Your daughter will understand and will love you just the same.

Comment by Dena on August 25, 2013 at 11:29pm

I am so sorry you are going through this. One of the things I missed most about my daughter losing her hair was when she use to sit in my lap at night after a bath and I would comb out her hair. It wasn't even something I realized I enjoyed so much until it was taken away from me. She now has wigs and we play hair salon with them. Put a bright pink wig on and your daughter will love it. It is actually more fun, because she can change your look to anything she wants. Plus she can put them on and play too. All of my daughters little friends love to come over and play dress up at our house. We also do temporary tattoos. Buy a couple of cheap wigs and let your daughter pick out your hair for the fashion show. The don't have to be anything expensive. Young kids don't know the difference. Buy a bunch of cheap hats or scarves. My daughter loves scarves. I know it won't be the same as you had with your Mom, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun. Just in a different way. Losing your hair really makes you have to look at things differently. I know it is hard and it isn't fair. Alopecia just sucks. I wish you the best.

Comment by Tovah on August 25, 2013 at 11:41pm

I knew that when my nieces were asking about my hair loss, their (naturally) concern was that they would get this also.

You sound like a great mom. She's not going to remember the fact you were bald; but she WILL remember that you took time to be with her and be a wonderful role model.

Comment by Tim Irvine on August 25, 2013 at 11:42pm

My daughters are teens now and I remember explaining to them why I did not have hair. They never blinked or acted like it was anything they were ashamed of. I have used it to teach them to not pick on people because they are different, and to always stand up for those who are unwilling, or unable to stand up for themselves. I know in time you will feel more at ease and once you normalize Alopecia for you (not an easy thing to do) those around you will roll with it. Best of luck!!

Comment by sarojas1 on August 25, 2013 at 11:42pm

I really love your idea Dena!!! I felt exactly as you did with my baby girl who lost her hair same age. Helen please believe us when we say your daughters understanding will come with time, love, and great communication. She will be your biggest fan and motivator.

Comment by Ellen on August 25, 2013 at 11:44pm

Focus on all the amazing things besides playing hair that you can share with your daughter. Love, laughter, play, exploration, dance, kindness. There is as adjustment that women face with alopecia and their idea of beauty. The best gift you can give her is your love.

Comment by Leelee on August 25, 2013 at 11:51pm

I'm on the other side of this...I have a full head of hair and my 8 yet old daughter who has alopecia has none, I miss making braids or just combing her hair, I just brought her a wig and it was one of the hardest things I ever did. I just feel so scared that she will be picked on in school. I have a great support staff at her school, but being a veteran teacher, I know kids are cruel, I hope and pray every day that she gets her hair back. This is just so sad and scary and I feel like crying all the time.

Comment by sarojas1 on August 26, 2013 at 12:45am

I understand Leelee...I feel bad sometimes when my daughter plays with my hair or complements it. I lay awake many nights fearing she experiences a worst nightmare at school & it change her beautiful spirit. I don't care how or what grows back just give her her dang hair back! But then I remember how far worse it could be n thank my higher power for a good day. I really truly believe hair is not a big deal but I know how easier life would be if it weren't an issue. Since we can't change it (right now) lets focus on what we can do...empower ourselves n our babies!

Comment by itsmeehtalia on August 26, 2013 at 1:08am

My daughter is two, also. It's just curiosity and the explanation can wait, you can just make it something easy and simple. My daughter sees me with a bandana, a wig, and little hair. My alopecia worsened after having her. Don't be discouraged, you can still play salon with a wig if you're okay with it, my daughter likes to mess with mine while its on my head. Don't let alopecia stop you from doing things you think you can't do, because there probably is a way around it. Feel better. ^_^ I somehow got to the point of laughing instead of feeling sad when I walked into a beauty supply store with my daughter and there was a manaquin head with hair on a shelf and she said "mommy, that's your hair??"

Comment by Bonnie on August 26, 2013 at 5:39am

As a mother of 8 and baldie of 10 (years that is), I hope my words bring you some hope and comfort. This gets better. I promise. the first years are nightmarish, but after that, it is amazing. I can't imagine not being bald now. I never realized how low my self-esteem was until I had to fight for it. Society had so much power of my self image, and I had no idea, but once I really stepped outside societies view of "normal", I was free to find and define my own beauty. As soon as you accept you, others will follow your cue. You can look like anything as long as you do it condidently. Now tomothering without hair, I have older kids, so the hair thing is their special thing. I barely even brush my little one's hair, because i've gotten to where I seldom even think of hair. But mommy has her own special times, like painting nails. Your daughter will either learn to love or hate your allopacia based on how she sees it affects you. She will draw pictures, and talk about it. She will make comparisons, and contrasts with the things around her. That is all just part of her figuring out the wonders of life. Don't worry. It would happen anyway. My kids all were fascinated with a skin tag on my husband's back, for example. Just know you are a beautiful and loving mom, just the way you are. It gets easier. I promise.

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