Alopecia World
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Another illustration of why bald works for me
I performed in San Diego and Laguna Beach, California last weekend with a wonderful Bulgarian band now touring the country - "Bulgarika". Drumming is hard work, and at times I got hot - sweat running off my scalp hot - and took off my scarf. Then I'd get cooled down at times and put it back on.
From my perspective, if I had a wig on, I would just feel SO weird if I took it off and on. One moment I'd have hair, then next not! This happened to me a lot when I was trying to wear wigs when I first lost my hair in 2008. I just couldn't take a wig on and off. With a scarf, it's natural and easy (and I don't have something that looks like a dead animal sitting next to me.)
The room we were performing in was a large dance studio-type place with full wall mirrors. I could see myself the entire performance. The crowd of dancers could see me from all sides. Many of the Laguna Beach dancers hadn't seen me before. You know what happened? Everybody enjoyed the music, and no one cared about my head! I felt great. One guy I didn't know came up to me and told me (with a sort of surprised look on his face) that he thought my bald head was very beautiful.
I've posted three photos here:
http://www.alopeciaworld.com/photo/mary-with-bulgarika?context=user
The only way people will get used to seeing bald women is if they see bald women.
From my perspective, if I had a wig on, I would just feel SO weird if I took it off and on. One moment I'd have hair, then next not! This happened to me a lot when I was trying to wear wigs when I first lost my hair in 2008. I just couldn't take a wig on and off. With a scarf, it's natural and easy (and I don't have something that looks like a dead animal sitting next to me.)
The room we were performing in was a large dance studio-type place with full wall mirrors. I could see myself the entire performance. The crowd of dancers could see me from all sides. Many of the Laguna Beach dancers hadn't seen me before. You know what happened? Everybody enjoyed the music, and no one cared about my head! I felt great. One guy I didn't know came up to me and told me (with a sort of surprised look on his face) that he thought my bald head was very beautiful.
I've posted three photos here:
http://www.alopeciaworld.com/photo/mary-with-bulgarika?context=user
The only way people will get used to seeing bald women is if they see bald women.
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Comment by MiNAH on October 17, 2011 at 6:54pm
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Thank you Mary for sharing xo
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Comment by Eliza alisa abgail on October 18, 2011 at 10:26am
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cool
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Comment by Norm on October 19, 2011 at 12:26pm
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"....and I don't have something that looks like a dead animal sitting next to me."
I've had nights out with people like that..... not recommended :)
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Comment by Tallgirl on October 19, 2011 at 12:40pm
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Hats also come off easily...even faster than scarves!
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Comment by Mary on October 19, 2011 at 1:16pm
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Yes, they do...I just haven't found any hats that I like the look of on my bald head. Gotta keep looking!
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Thanks, Lily! Yes, that's exactly what I did for the 8 - 9 months I tried to wear wigs. EXCEPT, there was one time when I was in an un-airconditioned theater during a heat wave, waiting with a group of family members for a musical review to start. Everyone was fanning themselves, and sweat was running down my face. Finally after about 15 minutes of this, feeling like I was going to explode from the heat, I tore off the wig, threw it on the floor, shouted "F&*#!, and then started to cry. That was the first real wake-up call for me that I had to find another way.
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Comment by Rodeli on October 20, 2011 at 12:25am
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Ah, Mary, you never cease to be one of my inspirations. Yesterday, I decided for the first time to go outside of my house without my wig and just put a scarf on my head. I even marched over to my neighbor's house to give her something, the teenage boy two doors down was outside shooting hoops, the 4 year old next door came over to ask when my son would be home to play with her, another teen age boy in the neighborhood also came over to play ball with my son and not one single one of them asked me why I was wearing a scarf or looked at me like I was strange--they didn't react at all. I just acted confident and matter of fact and it felt great. My son didn't even say anything when he came home and i went outside with just the bandana--he only smiled and whispered "Do you have a wig on under that?" I said "No." He smiled and said "Cool." and ran off to play with his friends. Another one of my baby steps. So I thank you and all the other women who inspire me here.
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YES! Way to go! THIS is exactly what I've experienced. As soon as I started acting confident, unconcerned, and matter of fact about being a bald woman in public (and believe me, at first it WAS an act), it was fine. Reading your words, I remember so clearly thinking that people were going to stop talking, or drop water glasses, or turn and stare....And I remember my amazement when they didn't.
Baby steps is all it took. Yeah, I still get snapped back to the realization that I'm different when I get approached by a cancer survivor as I did yesterday in a museum. Or once in awhile a little kid will say something, or someone will look twice.
But, I really care less and less. Life goes on and this is just me now.
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Comment by Lori on October 22, 2011 at 4:55pm
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Great pics and thread!
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Just added some photos from the San Diego gig with the Bulgarian band - way too hot to have anything on my head:
http://www.alopeciaworld.com/photo/bald-lady-drumming-2011?context=...
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