Comment by Celeste Edwards on November 1, 2008 at 2:42am

I completely agree with Bogie! I don't know that I ever relied on my looks to attract others...BUT because I have ALWAYS lived in areas where the majority of ppl are critical, gossipy and RULED by looks and bank accounts...YEAH! It was extremely difficult to "deal"!! BUT!! This time!! Completely different! The ones in my life that MATTER!! My family, friends, etc ... LOVE me regardless! REGARDLESS! It's ME!! Not my hair! and honestly!! If I am going to judged because of my looks and nothing else at this stage in my life ... LATER TATER!! I'm TOO OLD for that shit!! and I have MUCH more important things going in my life!!

NOW!! If I can JUST get my weight to STAY at an acceptable number ... Life would be GRAND!! :) But even with weight!! It's MY issue and if ya don't like me with a few extra pounds ... that's your problem.

Take Control!! Life becomes a WHOLE lot more fun!!

Comment by Stacey Benioni on November 1, 2008 at 3:32am

Well as a young teenage, sometimes I did rely on my looks aka face, body and HAIR for people to recognise me on the streets, but I only did it for fun because I have the one that I love and excepts me for who I was before I had AA and now, he is more supportive then ever. My 1st step was to accept the fact that I had AA and 2ndly to find out information and support. This was an important factor to me but there is still that little voice inside of me that allows AA to control me sometimes. For example, it takes me ages to match my scarves with my outfits, having the little resources that I have I had to cut my old lava lava up to make a scarve. I admit that I cried because it herts, seeing people with hair, seeing people with oilly hair or dry damaged hair just made me angry and think WHY ME???? It's up to me, as to how I want people to see me, maybe I can change the old me and be someone that people find friendly or happy. But then again, I don't want to change just because people can't handle the truth from me.
Now i've looked at AA like this, if I get a good figure going and is healthy, I can do modeling and show off to the world that people like US can do anything...keeping it real, God bless

Stacey

Comment by kastababy on November 1, 2008 at 12:01pm

I would have to agree with both Bogie and Celeste. I will also admit freely to letting AA control me to some extent, even though there are long periods where I am under the illusion that I have complete control. I think the main reason I haven't seriously dated anyone or started a family is because I have always wondered deep down if a man really would be attracted to me despite my hair loss. I even went so far as to embrace a swingers' lifestyle for a few years because then I could freely express my sexuality and sensuality without wondering if it was me they were attracted to or just my outward appearance. And you know what I found out? It was in that lifestyle that I found people who were attracted to my mind and my personality as well as my outward appearance -- and I gradually began to accept myself for what I am regardless of what is going on.

It has only been since I have reunited with my wonderful boyfriend Todd that I have begun to let go of the fear and take control back from AA. My main concern for years has been that he would not be able to love me because of my AA. What I have learned is that true love goes beyond the physical -- and that Todd loves me in spite of and despite my AA. He knows when my head needs an extra massage, and he gets protective when someone stares too long, and now that I have that I find that I have the strength to take control of my life away from AA.

Now, like everyone else, if I could just get my weight and my hypothyroidism under control, then I would be a foxy somebody again!!! LOL

Comment by Trina on November 1, 2008 at 1:24pm

Thanks yokasta,
I think u hit direction I was looking at on the head. While 99 percent of the time you have complete control there have been times when I was not so strong in life. And you are right true love sees nothing but the person not hair,clothes etc.

And if you all find that weight cure please share it with me too lol...

Comment by Lisa on December 6, 2008 at 10:54am

Hi Trina,
I'm learning to look at this "negative" in a different light also. I lost my hair 12 months ago. Thought the hair loss was from stress, or from the medication the doctor put me on for stress. But last week we saw another doctor for a 2nd opinion. She told me there was little chance of my hair returning. She kept saying, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't have better news for you..." As I was sitting in the doctor's office, listening to her tell me how sorry she was, I thought, "She isn't telling me I have cancer. She isn't telling me I have a disease where I will suffer chronic pain." I am so thankful for that.

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