In my thirty-eight years on this planet I have seen friends come and go. Living with a shameful disease like alopecia I have seen a fair share mostly go. I can admit to myself a lot of that was due to not wanting anyone close enough to know my shameful secret. I have gotten better at picking my friends over the years, as we all do as we get older. Or so I thought. Coming out of the shame of alopecia three years ago I found a set of friends that welcomed my new found energy. These friends encouraged, praised and congratulated me often on how far I had stepped out to become someone that didn't worry about what others thought about my baldness. If I was having a bad day, they were there to talk to. Until recently when a string of unfortunate events that lasted for months continued to drag me down. Emotionally, physically and spiritually. Where I was stumbling to make it through the day.

I have always been honest with anyone that comes into the friend circle that I'm moody, hell those that are not even in the friend circle knows that I can be moody. I'm also a bit of a nut, that I can be found to do crazy antics. Usually meaning dancing around unconcerned about who might be watching. I'm also the type that speaks exactly whats going on in my mind with a filter that doesn't always work. These are traits that I am aware of from me and honest with those around me that this is who I am. After all I'm bald now, what else do I have to hide.

After the death of my grandfather and then dealing with having to put down my dog that I had for 15 years, I was feeling very despaired. And it was during this time that I became aware that I was getting the cold shoulder from some friends. One thing I always pride myself in is that if I have an issue with someone or something I will be straight up and confront it. Good or bad I seek the truth. I rather be hurt by truth then misled into deception. It was when I confronted the issue that I was taken aback from what I learned. My moodiness over this period was enough for this friend to decide that I was not welcomed anymore. It didn't matter that I was hurting, it was no concern to them. And yes I will take some fault in this, I didn't explain my situation earlier.

Looking back now though, I see this an eye opener. Instead of respecting me enough to ask me what is going on, offering to be a shoulder to talk to, I was dismissed. This was not a friend that would have been there for the long haul. For short term struggles yes, but during trying times, no.

Yes friends will continue to pass through our lives and some will stick longer than others. It is the ones that understand you, know you, and respect you, for who you really are, that are the keepers. Everyone else are a part of life. Entertaining and fun; but fair weather.