So it's been a while since my last blog: just about 6 months. A lot has changed since then. I graduated from high school, which pretty much cut me off from anyone I talked to there (not that I care too much). I went and got myself a job over the summer. I worked 5 days a week from 7am-6pm. They were pretty long days, but money is money and I am in some pretty deep debt from my college loans. Then after an extremely quick few months, I was off to college. I moved out of my house to go away, which was a huge transition in itself, let alone moving from extremely urban NYC to urban on a much smaller scale in Buffalo. I did not know even one person in Buffalo, so the first few weeks were especially rough for me, coming from an immediate family of 9 and a close-knit extended family. But just like everything else in life, I made it through and now have a bunch of friends I am with on a regular basis. Which just about brings me to now.

I have been struggling most recently with my major and what I want to do with the rest of my life. Yes, I know that I am still young and I don't have to know right away what I want to do. I, unfortunately, need to have a game plan to function. I am unable to sit through classes without knowing that it is for a specific reason and end point. (I am a control freak...I don't even try to hide it anymore.) Basically, I stress myself out for no good reason. My major currently is athletic training. Although I love sports, I don't think this is a good fit for me. I am just about positive that I want to change it to pre-dental. I want to eventually be an orthodontist...I think. Sounds good at the moment, so that's what I'm sticking with.

One of my biggest changes since being here is going to a party without my wig on. I didn't want to go without my wig, but I forgot to wash it and didn't have time before my friends were leaving, so I went sans hair. (I was 80's for Halloween and I haven't had a chance to wash it yet. It's a difficult process in a shared dorm bathroom and takes a lot of time.) It was very strange. I never wear my wig to class or to any events around campus, but for some reason I do not EVER go to parties without it. I don't like to stand out, so it helps me blend in with everyone else. I also have this idea in my head that no one that doesn't know me won't talk to me. (I know this is TERRIBLE!, but I feel like no one would want to get involved with someone that may have cancer. Face it, if we didn't know about Alopecia, that would be the first thing most of us would think. - - - I am very sorry if I offended anyone by that statement. Clearly, that is not my intention, but it is hard to explain when typing.) Back to the party. It wasn't awkward. It wasn't fun. It wasn't terrible. It just was. I did meet some new people, but the entire night I spent explaining to all the drunken messes what Alopecia was. Not exactly what I consider fun on a Friday night. Overall it wasn't a horrible experience and I would go to a party again without my wig, but I would not want to if I didn't have to.

I don't know if anyone noticed, but I italicized "change" whenever it came up. I was trying to figure out how I was going to sum up this blog, and when I reread it, I realized I used "change" in each paragraph. "Change" pretty much explains my life at this point. I am going through a lot of changes: being away from home for the first time, switching my major and not wearing a wig to a party. Obviously, these are not the only changes in my life, but they seem to be the most significant today. Through all of these changes, I am growing as a person with Alopecia, as a woman and as part of a family. Change is good.