Alopecia World
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Coming out bald!
I had my "coming out" for lack of a better term last night. One week ago yesterday I had what was left of my hair buzzed off. Alopecia claimed most of the hair on my head.
I am a singer/songwriter. I had a gig yesterday at Philadelphia's premiere listening room, The Tin Angel. I opened for Vance Gilbert. I've played the Tin many, many times, but never without hair. While I've been walking around bald for one week, this was the first time a large amount of people who both were fans and knew me and who didn't know me at all would see me, totally without hair on my head.
A friend Marie Gabrielle, who is also a performer gave me a great suggestion. I’d told her part of me wanted to say something about my being bald, part of me didn’t. She advised I didn’t have to explain anything, but in an effort to get away from cancer questions, she said I should wait til after I’ve done about 2 songs, thank the crowd, ask if everyone was having a good time and then say “hey, nobody’s said anything about my new look”. I thought this to be a great idea.
I did just like my friend Marie said and the crowd hooted, hollered; one guy yelled “hubba-hubba”, another yelled in Spanish “muy bonita” (tr. "very pretty" which was shocking). I felt like a million bucks. My energy was very high as well. After about the 3rd song, my bassist leaned over and said to me “there’s something magical tonight; I think its your head…”.
Two friends I had told I was going to shave my head brought me gifts – one crocheted me a Kufi (traditional African cap) and it looks AMAZING (thank you Liz) the other brought me an incredible scarf (thank you Cindy). Only one person, who I didn't know asked me if I was ill, and she asked in a round-about way. She asked “did you have a choice in your being bald”. My response was “No”. Then she said, “that’s too bad when you don’t have a choice”. Then I said to her, oh, I’m not sick or anything, I have alopecia, a condition where your hair falls out. I had no choice but to look better because continuing to look like I did with the hair I had left was awful. I feel great”. She smiled. I smiled back.
I feel free. I feel out. The clubs’ manager in the beginning of the night noticed I was wearing a buff and came into the dressing room and said “that looks interesting”. Then I pulled it off. She then said “wow, if my head was the same shape as yours, I’d shave it”. She asked if I was ill and I told her no, just Alopecia. She asked me what Alopecia was.
Its incredible to me how very few people know about alopecia areata. It is more prevalent than we realize. Unreal. I don’t mind educating and making people aware. I’m sure I’ll have my moments. I think the transition is in one’s self; if you’re confident and feel good it transcends the fear and the unknown. I think this is what freaks people out most. If they only bothered to take a moment and educate themselves dealing with this, along with other physical ailments and issues humans have would not be so heartbreaking. I consider myself lucky that I feel good with all this.
It was windy today. For the first time in years, I enjoyed the wind, the breeze, and I didn’t worry about my hair shifting, the spots showing. Yes!
Here are some photos from last night's show:
I am fortunate on many different levels. That my music transcends my baldness; that the fans new and old accepted me the way I am.
Onward and upward.
Lili (aka Eulalia)
I am a singer/songwriter. I had a gig yesterday at Philadelphia's premiere listening room, The Tin Angel. I opened for Vance Gilbert. I've played the Tin many, many times, but never without hair. While I've been walking around bald for one week, this was the first time a large amount of people who both were fans and knew me and who didn't know me at all would see me, totally without hair on my head.
A friend Marie Gabrielle, who is also a performer gave me a great suggestion. I’d told her part of me wanted to say something about my being bald, part of me didn’t. She advised I didn’t have to explain anything, but in an effort to get away from cancer questions, she said I should wait til after I’ve done about 2 songs, thank the crowd, ask if everyone was having a good time and then say “hey, nobody’s said anything about my new look”. I thought this to be a great idea.
I did just like my friend Marie said and the crowd hooted, hollered; one guy yelled “hubba-hubba”, another yelled in Spanish “muy bonita” (tr. "very pretty" which was shocking). I felt like a million bucks. My energy was very high as well. After about the 3rd song, my bassist leaned over and said to me “there’s something magical tonight; I think its your head…”.
Two friends I had told I was going to shave my head brought me gifts – one crocheted me a Kufi (traditional African cap) and it looks AMAZING (thank you Liz) the other brought me an incredible scarf (thank you Cindy). Only one person, who I didn't know asked me if I was ill, and she asked in a round-about way. She asked “did you have a choice in your being bald”. My response was “No”. Then she said, “that’s too bad when you don’t have a choice”. Then I said to her, oh, I’m not sick or anything, I have alopecia, a condition where your hair falls out. I had no choice but to look better because continuing to look like I did with the hair I had left was awful. I feel great”. She smiled. I smiled back.
I feel free. I feel out. The clubs’ manager in the beginning of the night noticed I was wearing a buff and came into the dressing room and said “that looks interesting”. Then I pulled it off. She then said “wow, if my head was the same shape as yours, I’d shave it”. She asked if I was ill and I told her no, just Alopecia. She asked me what Alopecia was.
Its incredible to me how very few people know about alopecia areata. It is more prevalent than we realize. Unreal. I don’t mind educating and making people aware. I’m sure I’ll have my moments. I think the transition is in one’s self; if you’re confident and feel good it transcends the fear and the unknown. I think this is what freaks people out most. If they only bothered to take a moment and educate themselves dealing with this, along with other physical ailments and issues humans have would not be so heartbreaking. I consider myself lucky that I feel good with all this.
It was windy today. For the first time in years, I enjoyed the wind, the breeze, and I didn’t worry about my hair shifting, the spots showing. Yes!
Here are some photos from last night's show:
I am fortunate on many different levels. That my music transcends my baldness; that the fans new and old accepted me the way I am.
Onward and upward.
Lili (aka Eulalia)
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Comment by Ilia Reed on March 14, 2011 at 7:16am
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Thanks for sharing this nice story. Why to be shocked about "muy bonita" - if it is true? We have to show that beauty is more than hairdos.
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Comment by Anne Williams on March 14, 2011 at 10:03am
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So, so cool!
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Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on March 14, 2011 at 11:35am
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thank you for sharing
What a totally awesome experience you had. Congrats !!!!
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Comment by Lili Añel (aka Eulalia) on March 14, 2011 at 11:41am
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Thanks everyone for the positivity and wonderful feedback.
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Comment by Angie P on March 14, 2011 at 1:28pm
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Baby, you are on fire!!!! **gettin' teary** :)
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Comment by Chefpam on March 14, 2011 at 3:23pm
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WOW, that had to feel good. You rock, literally....
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Comment by Mary on March 15, 2011 at 12:15am
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OMG! You look so incredible!!! You're doing so much for all of us bald women (and those who WANT to go out bald but haven't yet.) Every time another person has his or her consciousness raised by seeing a beautiful, comfortable, relaxed and proud bald woman, it's a major step!
Not nearly such a major gig, but here I am on March 5:
http://www.alopeciaworld.net/photo/march-5-2011-with-klezmer-band?c...
If you're ever in San Diego, I'd love to sit in and drum a number with you. Imagine having two bald women on stage!
Hugs and congrats from Mary
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Mary - any time, you can sit in with me, any time!!! Yes, we would turn the world upside down, two bald women performing at once I love that photo of you with the Klezmer band. You look like you belong right there with them.
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Comment by David B327 on March 15, 2011 at 4:38pm
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Hey Eulalia this is a great, great story. I am so pleased for you. Though I did have a choice (in being bald that is) your words resonate with me so very much. Thanks very much for sharing.
So now you look like you should be singing something by Jacques Brel (let’s say Amsterdam), or possibly even Marlene Dietrich.
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Comment by Susan P aka DGADBS on March 17, 2011 at 7:49am
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You look FANTASTIC!!! Do you still have some spots that you have to shave? I was so glad when I didn't have any hair left because I hated the dark parches and I shaved every day but you could still notice the colour difference. Yesterday a co-worker told me that I "rocked the smooth look with my bald head and no eyelashes" it made me feel great because I didn't put on any makeup yesterday!
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