Coming Out Bald at the Synagogue - What the Bible Says About Baldness

Hi everyone,

I want to share with you something I did this morning in front of the congregation at our synagogue. Though I go everywhere bald, one place I hadn't done so was at services at the temple. Every Saturday morning when we go, I've worn one of my scarves. Until this morning!

Today's reading from the Torah (Old Testament - Leviticus ch. 13) is about skin diseases, baldness, and treatment by the ancient priests in Israel. I couldn't pass up this opportunity to volunteer to give the commentary (sort of like a sermon). Here is what I said:


This reading always seemed difficult to relate to with its descriptions of skin afflictions and complex priestly rituals for the purification of those afflicted…until a little over a year ago. (Here's where I took off my scarf.) As many of you know, I’ve lost all my hair due to an auto-immune disease called Alopecia Areata. I’m perfectly healthy and feel fine, except that I don’t have any hair, and it’s very unlikely it will ever grow back. I go everywhere bald, but have always worn a scarf here. Today is the perfect day to change that.

I frequently get asked what stage of chemotherapy I’m at, and supermarket checkers seem particularly fond of asking me “What are you fighting” - I answer “traffic” - or “How’s the good fight going?” Recently, a man turned and stared at me…and kept staring. Instead of looking away as I usually do when this happens, I looked right in his eyes and said “Yes, I’m bald.” He didn’t react and kept staring, so I said it again.

There’s just no getting around the fact that in our society, a bald woman is presumed to be that way because of medical treatment for a life-threatening illness. Looking at this Torah reading, it occurred to me that female baldness is a modern form of "Tazria"…a mark of illness or, in Torah terms, impurity.

Leviticus 13:45 says that a leper shall call, “Impure, impure!” to warn people away and avoid the spread of the impurity. Sometimes I feel like I need to shout the opposite message: “healthy! healthy!” to let people know they don’t need to be afraid or feel uncomfortable around me.

In this portion, the Torah expressly says (Leviticus 13:40):
"And when a man's head will become hairless, he is bald. He is pure. And if his head will become hairless from the corner of his face, he has a bald forehead. He is pure." Although the language refers to a “man”, and the text seems to exactly describe male pattern baldness, I think it’s speaking to me, too.

In our culture, baldness makes women feel isolated and defective. But, this portion tells us that we shouldn’t feel that way. Society, and some well-meaning friends and family members, ask me why I don’t wear a wig. The simple answer is I tried and can’t stand the heat and itchiness. So, rather than trying to hide my lack of hair, I choose to believe the Torah’s message that those who are bald are still to be counted among the clean and pure, and so can participate as full members of society.

What function did all these purification rituals serve? Perhaps an important part of the priest’s function as described was to satisfy the human need for control over the uncontrollable, such as disease. The hardest thing for me as my hair began to rapidly fall out was the sense of having no control over it. The feeling of helplessness over changes in our bodies like those described here, even benign changes like baldness, is probably similar to the anxieties our forebears felt when stricken with illness. The priestly rituals were probably intended to try to limit and comfort these anxieties, and in this way, gain some control over uncontrollable disease processes, as best they could.

Richard Elliot Friedman comments: “When one has a visible problem with his or her skin (including loss of hair) it is a special distress: embarrassing, frightening. One feels ugly. One does not know how long it will last. One wonders if others are making fun or pitying or feeling disgusted. The laws in this section convey that it is not that the person has done something wrong….We no longer treat these conditions through priests at the Temple, but we can still learn from this (section) to be sensitive (to people with illnesses that affect their appearance).”

Finally, I’ll share with you that it’s also been very interesting, as a Reform Jew, to be mistaken for an Orthodox woman. When I need a little warmth on my head, I wear a scarf, as you’ve all seen me do. In a Starbucks once, I was wearing one of my scarves, and I was wearing a long skirt and long sleeves, AND my chai (a charm that is the Hebrew word for "life") around my neck. The young woman behind the counter happened to be Jewish. She took one look at me, smiled brightly, and said “Oh, are you Orthodox?” I was surprised, and answered “No, I’m bald!” Maybe you had to be there, but it was pretty funny.

(end of commentary) That last story got a big laugh, I got rousing applause, and many heartfelt expressions of appreciation for sharing my personal perspective on this reading. I will not hesitate to go bald during services in the future.

Dear fellow Alopecians - take it from the Bible. We're not defective, we're not diseased, we don't have to hide ourselves away from the rest of society or hide our baldness. We're pure.

Blessings and good health to all,
Mary

Views: 136

Comment by Michelle L on June 2, 2010 at 1:13am
Thank you so much for this, Mary. I can completely relate to your last little anecdote because I am part of an Orthodox Jewish Community and my kids go to a Jewish Day School and since I have started wearing hats, scarves and wigs, I have been getting sideways glances from the more religious women. Probably wondering why Iam still wearing fitted jeans and low-cut tops *lol*.


Last week, a friend who is newly religious said to me that she is so thrilled I've started performing the mitzvah of covering my head. I explained that I was covering for completely different reasons to which she replied (joyfully, I might add) that she thinks this is G-d way of making me observe this mitzvah and become a more observant Jew and that even if I don't see the bigger picture, she does. Grrrrrr - it made me so angry! Anyway - that's a diversion *lol* But, wow - how presumptious and supercilious!

But mostly, I have had really beautiful positive responses and I am so glad that you have had such a fantastic response to your brave act of standing up and being heard. BRAVO!

xoxo Michelle
Comment by Mary on June 2, 2010 at 1:38am
Thanks, Michelle. That's so aggravating that someone would suggest that!

In any event, I thought the whole point of covering the hair was to COVER THE HAIR...but what if a woman has no hair...? I've wondered what the Orthodox Jewish or observant Moslem opinion about a bald woman would be: if there is no hair to be covered, would they be required to wear a scarf or wig if they wanted to go out bald?

Hugs,
Mary
Comment by Michelle L on June 2, 2010 at 1:49am
I actually asked a friend about that and she explained that it would apply equally to Alopecians because the covering of hair is not about hair per se, it is about keeping your 'true' self for your spouse. I asked because I had noticed that all the religious women who wear sheitels (wigs) look better that they do with their own hair! She said it isn't to save your beauty for your husband (in a basic sense) but rather the concept is that you are saving the intimate, real you for him only. In that sense, a religious Jewish Alopecian would be revealing her baldness to her husband only and that part of her would be treasured most by her husband because only he has the priviledge of being 'let it' so to speak. It actually elevates our baldness to a spiritually beautiful place.

Not my cup of tea, but I think it is quite beautiful nonetheless

xoxo
Comment by Mary on June 2, 2010 at 10:28am
Thanks...yes, this makes sense to me when analyzed from that point of view.
Comment by Tallgirl on August 5, 2010 at 9:19am
As a wig wearer, I have always personally thought that my real head being shown was between my doctor, my man and myself. Does that put me in league with what Michelle said? I don't even see the doctor about this anymore...but I sure take off the hot topper as soon as I get home, in this summer heat!

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