Day 2 -  May 9th, 2013 - The Cancelled Appointment

My boyfriend and I both work on the same project on nightshift. We took half a shift off so that we could get home by midnight and go to my 10:30 am appointment, which was an hour away from our house. On the way there, I noticed a missed call from an unknown number but i didnt really pay much attention to it.

When we got to the office, we found out that the Doc had an emergency...more important that my hair falling out?! lol. So then, we decided to go to a walk-in clinic. I needed to see a professional, I needed some form of tangible information. I needed reassurance. Anything!

Doctor said: "It's defintely, clearly Alopecia Areata! It's autoimmune...." blablabla...I already read this, but thanks for confirming the horror Doc! Don't we all sometimes want to "kill the messenger" haha! She encouraged me to see the dermatologist and get him to fully analyze the symptom.

[Sidetrack] My boyfriend is a pillar of support and love! He's been stuck to me like glue and is always sending me positive vibes. I love him so much and am so gratetful that he doesn't let me feel alone in this!

I think there is a link to my shift work. I started night shift 3 months ago, the damn spot appeared 2 to 3 months ago...my diet on nights is non-existant (one meal a day). I don't see any Sun. And I am stressed out at work.

Mathematically speaking: 13hr night shift + Stress + Not eating well + No time to excercise + No Sunlinght + Shifting back and forth from day to night every few weeks + Other personal stresses = Alopecia Areata

My cranky immune system: "Oh shit! oh shit! what the F*** is going on here! Attack! Attack! We are being invaded by an unidentified cause (physical and mental stress)! Not enough energy to perform usual tasks..get rid of useless functions, hmm hair, we wear clothes, no need, get rid of it!" You see the immune system is awesome, but it doesn't understand stress because it isnt a bacteria or virus.

From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense that our immune system doesn't understand long-term stress. When Mr.Caveman felt stress, it was caused by a probable threat to his life, like a pre-historic lion starring at him and licking his lips! Yummy a homosapien! Well guess what stress does, it makes us secrete cortisol, its function is to spare available glucose for the brain, generating new energy from stored reserves, and diverting energy from low-priority activities in order to survive immediate threats. And with this new energy, mr.caveman ran to safety and actually for him the cortisol was valuable and a matter of life and death!

Nowadays though, cortisol isn't "used up" like that. We dont stress over the same things, so we dont run right after feeling stressed out.  As the stress builds, this causes prolonged cortisol secretion which results in significant physiological changes, amongst many other things! And this is why exercise is so important in our lifestyles. All that cortisol needs to get used up or else you are going to pay for it!

I've been researching alternative methods...hypnosis anyone? Read this case from Australia: hynosis.doc.

I think the word "hynosis" makes people quiver and squint a little because we all think of a person acting like a dog or a chicken laying eggs. But really it's guided meditation with suggestions.

Try it! I told myself, at worst I'll feel relaxed. And hey think about this: I, the being I, am in control of my body. I am Goddess of my body. Every movement, every thought is a command I send and my body must obey. So now with this accepted notion of control over my body. Why not take it further? Why not realize that all of those subconscious tasks are indeed controlled by me: heart beat, blinking, breathing...The thing is that part of my body is controlled by a different part of I, the subconscious part. If my conscious self could communicate to my subconscious self more easily, then I could send out commands to my immune system to back-off my hair follicles (stand down, they are allies!), I could tell myself to relax and tell my biochemistry to realign itself! And that is what meditation and hypnosis are really about, it's about speaking to your body in the language it understands-The subconscious silent language that is whispered each and every milisecond, every single day since you were born. Whispered, so that your conscious self has less things to be consciously worried about. Imagine if we had to consciouly remember to breathe, blink, beat our heart, move our bowels, etc!!!

I believe! I feel charged with energy! I can overcome this. I am strong. I am powerful. I AM GODDESS OF MY BODY! I AM THE COMMAND CENTRE!

Next step: Bring my life to a normal rhythm--Eat healthy, Sleep well, Run, and Meditate!

Spot diameter ~ 1inch long way