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First let me say I am touched my blog was featured on here. That's never happened to me before. :-)I hope others will talk to me that know what I am going through and wish to just vent. I think it's so important to support each other.
So yes, day 3. I don't want to exaggerate. They are not full blown panic attacks. They are the wobbly legs, feeling hot, sickly stomach want to throw up kind. Full blown ones are much worse. I am using a book called the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. It's big and you have to break it down part by part to use it. I am dedicating this month to working each week on a self-esteem task. I have had problems with panic attacks and anxiety long before I had HL. So HL is not the only issue I am dealing with. I have what I call long-term unresolved issues. HL is forcing me to deal with them finally. It's not possible to ignore...to ignore these issues is to never know personal peace and learn that I AM a worthy person, with or without hair! Or all my limbs, or my eyes, etc. You get the idea. We as humans are not a body..we are a spirit! Hair should not define us. I'll let you know when I can full walk that walk. :-)
I think part of the sadness I am feeling is the recent discovery that a cat we want to adopt has FLUT. My cat Figaro passed away in July, the month before my big dread shed. Figaro was 18 and I loved him dearly. Now I am finally ready to think about another cat, find one I can relate too and he is sick. We are trying to understand what it means but my concern is with the stress I am under with HL, can I take the added stress of a sick cat? I don't know...I just want to enjoy my new cat for a bit before it gets too old and is sick. So I think it's making me sadder than I realize. I so want to feel joy again...
Can you volunteer or train at a vets or pet store to see all the pets you want to daily?
I am so sorry about you sick cat. I lost my Henry earlier this year and I miss him so very much. He was a stray that adopted me. I have panic attacks too. Whenever that feeling starts I always wonder if I will be able to calm myself this time and make it go away or if it will go to a full blown attack. Of course wondering and worrying which way it will go also leads to more panic!
let me tell you guys, if I shared everything that has happened this last year... good grief. a lot has happened. and working through the emotions is a must not an option. otherwise my health will be so compromised, I won't be able to work. I know everyone on this site knows what I am talking about. we are more than our body. it's just a vehicle. oh yes!! tears at bad times!!!! argh. so what are all of you doing to cope with your panic attacks and when do you find you have them the most?
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