Comment by Tallgirl on September 7, 2010 at 10:09pm

Some relatives of mine wore hairstyles that showed off ears, then later learned different styles to flatter. I think we can't realize the effect without actually shaving...but there ARE many wig, hat and scarf remedies. It all depends if you want one kind of balance or a different, freedom kind of balance in your life. Maybe do whatever gives some of both?

Comment by allets on September 8, 2010 at 12:12am

Hi Julia,

Your feelings are quite normal. I buzzed (later shaved) my hair nearly a year and a half ago and still have days where I feel depressed. Matter of fact, I just had a terrible weekend with anxiety/depression due to hair loss.

But as you said, "This too shall pass". I truly believe we will each come to some place of acceptance. It just takes time and in some cases, LOTS and LOTS of time! :)

Girl, you are so brave to go out without any head covering! I have yet to do that. At the moment, I choose to wear bandannas. I, too, get the stares but I pretend not to notice and continue on my way. :)

Keep hanging out here on AW. We definitely understand what you are going through. You're not alone.
(((Hugs)))

Comment by Carol on September 8, 2010 at 10:20am

You are beautiful. One thing about humans is that we are our own worst enemies. What goes on in our own minds is far worse than anything anyone else usually thinks about us. Like anyone else, you are entitled to have a bad day and like anyone else you have the right to be yourself. I went into the grocery store with my youngest daughter one day and although I didn't notice everyone staring at me, she did (you learn to ignore those things after awhile). I told my daughter everyone was staring at me because I'm so beautiful. It is a normal reaction for people to look at things that don't fall into the "normal" category however do not assume they are staring at you for the wrong reason, you don't know what they are thinking. Confidence is key here and as long as you wear a smile on your face nobody will question your lack of hair and if they do it's usually for support reasons. Just as some of us decide to attend support group meetings, people that assume we are going through chemotherapy are only looking to support us. People that assume we are other things are closed minded (I've been called a lot of things and many people think I shave my head by choice). You are a strong woman for deciding to be yourself, especially in public, but this does come with a certain responsibility to educate people about alopecia. I only wear a wig when I go somewhere where I don't want to call attention to it and I feel like a celebrity in hiding. Have your down day but realize that tomorrow is another day and you'll be that much stronger tomorrow! :)

Comment by Roslyn on September 8, 2010 at 9:04pm

I think you are beautiful. I think we all felt the "down in the dumps" feelings at one point or another. I was feeling that way just a couple of months ago and today I was able to actually go to work bald. It only matters what you think and feel. You pick a style that's for you. Hope you are feel better tomorrow.

Comment by Kate on September 10, 2010 at 6:06pm

I just looked at your photos, and I think you are cute as a button! The pics of you with your husband and son are really beautiful. You have lovely, expressive features - especially your eyes - and I hope you can remind yourself of your beauty and personality when you are feeling down. I think your feelings are normal, and I can empathize with where you are coming from. Its ok to let the bad feeling express themselves every now and then. Just know that when most of us look at you, we see a beautiful woman.

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