Here I am back on this site years later and I'm loving it ... 

I joined when I was around 14 years old and now I'm 18.

I was diagnosed with alopecia when I was just 4 years old. I decided to wear a wig when I was in 6th grade because I wanted to be like everyone else. Throughout the years I continued wearing them, although I didn't want to wear them any longer. It's hard you know, to just stop wearing wigs when everyone knows you as the girl with hair. But if I were to stop wearing them, then I'd be the girl without hair. I don't like attention as is, so having people stare at me even more because I'm bald is something I'm not crazy about. I know it will happen and that people will stare. I find it being hard to come out and I was thinking about putting it out on social media. I have a lot of my friends who follow me on Instagram and would love to just write about Alopecia with a picture of the real me. The me that they don't know. I tell my college friends that I am Hannah Montana because they'll see me in school with a wig, yet when I'm home and I'm facetiming them, I don't wear it. I'm open to discussing having an auto immune disease with others. I guess I fear what people will do and how they will respond. It's also hard because my parents do still want me to wear a wig because they're scared of what other people will say to me as well. They know I'm insecure and sensitive as is. So how do I overcome it? I act fearless with the wig on, so how can I show that to people while coming out bald? I know that I'm not alone and that there are so many others with this condition. I have always believed in the quote, "everything happens for a reason, even if the reason is unknown" and it really does speak for itself. 

Views: 125

Comment by Tallgirl on April 14, 2017 at 6:28pm
Hello again! Well, as you can see by internet trolls out there, as a growing expectation by rude people that they can ruin others anonymously, it may be wise to cover your head when not around people you know and trust. I wear a wig that looks real, and can just get on with life (school, teaching, shopping, travel, work) with no stares, comments or insults. Only one weird family on my old street used to throw eggs at my yard or mayonnaise my car window or yell, "WIG!" from down the street. I didn't want my family to have to go through that, so I chose, and still choose, wigs or hats or scarves in public.
Comment by gldean1988 on April 19, 2017 at 12:01pm

I really believe that if you show confidence and comfort in yourself, you will elicit comfort from others.

People are uncomfortable if you are uncomfortable. Bullies smell it and use it to your advantage.

It's not about how other people see you. It's about how you see yourself.

If wearing a wig gives you confidence, I recommend doing that. But, if you want to challenge yourself, try it without.

The people who really matter will love you no matter what.

And, I know what you mean by your parents, my mom freaked when I told her I'd take my wig off at school (I'm a teacher though----not a student). She said all my worst fears....like, how people would judge me. But then, I realized that my mother has terrible anxiety herself (in other areas of life), and it's hard not to get sucked into other people's negativity.

But, you'd be surprised how little others actually think of you.

Image result for eleanor roosevelt other people think of you

 

Comment by Sue M on May 5, 2017 at 11:08pm

Hi Nicky, 

I lost my hair at about age 4.  I'm 48 now.  I've always worn wigs my entire life and the styles were grandma looking or great-grandma looking.  Not easy for a first grader.   Over the years, and certainly by high school, I grew more confident at fixing my wigs and making them look great. I always feel more attractive wearing a wig and would feel naked without it. But that is me.  When I was younger, people hid their conditions, I did as well. Today, people are proud of them and post them on social media for the world to see.  My mother once told me, after much obsessing about how my wig looked, that, "no one is thinking about it more than you are."  And she was right. As a young adult I often avoided 'hair talk' and didn't tell anyone other than close friends about my wig.  I wanted people to get to know me, instead of seeing my wig first. Once I trusted them, I would tell them if it came up in conversation.  I'm married now with three teenagers.  About 15 years ago, I was 'outted' at a large dinner with mom friends.  After being asked where I get my hair done, I came clean and said that my hair was a wig, I have alopecia.   All eyes focused on me, I think I heard a gasp, then one mom turned to me and said to everyone, "I had a nose job" and then the attention turned to her.  I have to tell you, as awful as the experience was, it was also liberating.  Now I don't feel like I have to hide under my wig.  I can wear it without the fear that someone will find out.  I don't really care what people think about it cause no one is perfect.  

Good luck to you.  There really is no wrong way.  You just need to be okay with whatever decision you make.   

Comment by Tom on May 13, 2017 at 11:44pm
Hi Nicky
You have a good upbeat attitude and outlook about life. I'm old now but lost my hair at 19. I still remember how emotional it was for me. First of all your parents. They love you and don't want to see you get hurt. But they will see how well you handle situations of all kinds.
I wore wigs for two years but because I did heavy physical work they almost made me pass out from the heat. And mens wigs looked horrible back then. I can still pick out a guy with a hair piece or wig from across a room. But I think everybody should do what makes them happy.
But I think if you want to go bald it's great. But whether you wear a wig or not this condition is almost nothing after we stop hiding. When we start being open about what it is we have we can live with it quite easily. Your young keep living life the way you want regardless of what anyone wants or thinks.
Best of luck to you in your future.

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