Comment by Tallgirl on April 14, 2017 at 6:28pm

Hello again! Well, as you can see by internet trolls out there, as a growing expectation by rude people that they can ruin others anonymously, it may be wise to cover your head when not around people you know and trust. I wear a wig that looks real, and can just get on with life (school, teaching, shopping, travel, work) with no stares, comments or insults. Only one weird family on my old street used to throw eggs at my yard or mayonnaise my car window or yell, "WIG!" from down the street. I didn't want my family to have to go through that, so I chose, and still choose, wigs or hats or scarves in public.

Comment by gldean1988 on April 19, 2017 at 12:01pm

I really believe that if you show confidence and comfort in yourself, you will elicit comfort from others.

People are uncomfortable if you are uncomfortable. Bullies smell it and use it to your advantage.

It's not about how other people see you. It's about how you see yourself.

If wearing a wig gives you confidence, I recommend doing that. But, if you want to challenge yourself, try it without.

The people who really matter will love you no matter what.

And, I know what you mean by your parents, my mom freaked when I told her I'd take my wig off at school (I'm a teacher though----not a student). She said all my worst fears....like, how people would judge me. But then, I realized that my mother has terrible anxiety herself (in other areas of life), and it's hard not to get sucked into other people's negativity.

But, you'd be surprised how little others actually think of you.

 

Comment by Sue M on May 5, 2017 at 11:08pm

Hi Nicky, 

I lost my hair at about age 4.  I'm 48 now.  I've always worn wigs my entire life and the styles were grandma looking or great-grandma looking.  Not easy for a first grader.   Over the years, and certainly by high school, I grew more confident at fixing my wigs and making them look great. I always feel more attractive wearing a wig and would feel naked without it. But that is me.  When I was younger, people hid their conditions, I did as well. Today, people are proud of them and post them on social media for the world to see.  My mother once told me, after much obsessing about how my wig looked, that, "no one is thinking about it more than you are."  And she was right. As a young adult I often avoided 'hair talk' and didn't tell anyone other than close friends about my wig.  I wanted people to get to know me, instead of seeing my wig first. Once I trusted them, I would tell them if it came up in conversation.  I'm married now with three teenagers.  About 15 years ago, I was 'outted' at a large dinner with mom friends.  After being asked where I get my hair done, I came clean and said that my hair was a wig, I have alopecia.   All eyes focused on me, I think I heard a gasp, then one mom turned to me and said to everyone, "I had a nose job" and then the attention turned to her.  I have to tell you, as awful as the experience was, it was also liberating.  Now I don't feel like I have to hide under my wig.  I can wear it without the fear that someone will find out.  I don't really care what people think about it cause no one is perfect.  

Good luck to you.  There really is no wrong way.  You just need to be okay with whatever decision you make.   

Comment by Tom on May 13, 2017 at 11:44pm

Hi Nicky
You have a good upbeat attitude and outlook about life. I'm old now but lost my hair at 19. I still remember how emotional it was for me. First of all your parents. They love you and don't want to see you get hurt. But they will see how well you handle situations of all kinds.
I wore wigs for two years but because I did heavy physical work they almost made me pass out from the heat. And mens wigs looked horrible back then. I can still pick out a guy with a hair piece or wig from across a room. But I think everybody should do what makes them happy.
But I think if you want to go bald it's great. But whether you wear a wig or not this condition is almost nothing after we stop hiding. When we start being open about what it is we have we can live with it quite easily. Your young keep living life the way you want regardless of what anyone wants or thinks.
Best of luck to you in your future.

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