Face of Adversity

Remember 39 years of Grief & Sadness, as we all know.
I too would hide after all my long hair fell out at 14 years of age.
I would wear scarves, synthetic wigs & cry about the discomfort.
The itch, heat & the pain.
Feeling Anger, Hurt & Sadness.
Because perception & insult didn't allow me to be myself.
I would hide....hide & fear being seen.
Fear ridicule, fear judgment & blame.
Fear Insult...which was continuous & on going.
Fear Questions & Critisizm.
I would wonder...when would this all end.
Yet............................................IT NEVER ENDZ!
I was married for 5 years & he never saw my B-A-L-D head.
Always wearing a BANDANNA to BED!
Times were very "DIFFERENT" when my hair began falling out.
Society was even less apt to understand or accept differences.
Girlfriends would say hide/cover up!
I showed one girlfriend my head at the age of 19 when it all fell out.
When it became "ALOPECIA TOTALIS"
My girlfriend laughed & laughed & laughed...saying "COVER THAT UP"
I was ready to show it & reach out for acceptance.
OH BOY...WAS I WRONG!
Yet I was too impressionable, to green, too gullible & insecure.
I didn't know myself well enough to "STAND ALONE, STAND STRONG"
TO WALK WITH PRIDE......INSTEAD OF HIDE!
Too many years of molding!
Too many years of critical slander & emotional abuse.
Too many years of family & friends being critical, blaming.
Too many years of being "EMBARRASSED"
Embarrassed walking next to me, ebbarrassed to be seen with me.
Pushing me aside in fear of being connected to me!
All of this had it's PRICE!
NOW THEY & THEIR RIDICULE HAVE TOUGHENED ME UP!
IT TOOK YEARS!
My husband at that time walked in on me intentionally after the five year Hiatus.
Saying..."YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE ANYMORE...YOU LOOK FANTASTIC"
Then he said "ARE YOU UP TO GOING OUT LIKE THAT"
"I'LL BE WITH YOU ALL THE WAY"
So we did, & I never wore a wig again unless it was for fun.
Yes, it was hard to confront the "WORLD, FRIENDS, & FAMILY"
Yet I "TOOK THE BULL BY IT'S HORNS" so to speak & "FACED MY FEARS"
After Cortisone Steroid Injections the HAIR GREW BACK!
THE FRUSTRATING THING IS, HOW IT GREW BACK..."OR NOT".
Thin, Coarse, White Pigmented, Sparse Bald on top.
Messy & Frumpy in Appearance.
So recently I received a Vacume Wig...Freedomwig Prosthesis.
I had to make a hard Decision & Choice to shave for the preparation.
It took me a week to decide & it wasn't hard after that.
It was hard for a minute, to walk outside B-A-L-D.
YET I DID IT!
Every time I went out with a clean shaven sleek looking scalp
It became"EASIER...& EASIER...& EASIER.
My son said 'YOU LOOK GREAT B-A-L-D"
So now...I just found a new insight into being free & being
"INNATELY ME"
Like it or leave it...it's my life...my worries.
Nobody is there to help my pain except me.
So I figure....I have to be strong for me!
SO WHAT IF THEY LOOK!
SO WHAT IF THEY STARE!
SO WHAT IF THEY JUDGE!
SO WHAT IS THEY PERCEIVE!
SO WHAT IF THEY QUESTION!
SO WHAT IF THEY ARE UNCOMFORTABLE!
LET THEM!
THEY HAVE NO IDEA!
THEY CANNOT UNDERSTAND.
THEY DO NOT WALK IN OUR SHOES.
Along with their Compassion, Empathy, & Acceptance of "OUR DILEMMA"
Our Silent Suffering So Overwhelming, so Exchausting & Emotionally Painful.
Some continue to lack understanding.
COMPASSION ASIDE IT CAN BE HARD FOR SOME.
My stern, my profound advice, my deeper expression of care reaches out to you.
JUST...YOU...BE YOU!
Bugger The World....Bugger the Looks, Stares & Opinions.
You have got to be "YOURSELF"
Just Never Lose Sight Of Who You Are.
Love Yourself & Love Humanity.
Free Yourself & Live Your "GIFT OF LIFE" To The Fullest!

Views: 10

Comment by Melissa Harris on November 5, 2009 at 6:36pm
At the end of the day we all just have to be who we are now and embrace it, otherwise we are not living! Thanks for sharing! Melissa
Comment by MiNAH on November 5, 2009 at 10:05pm
Thank you too, everyone!
Comment by breo82 on November 6, 2009 at 8:08am
Mina, thanks for this contribution..it's recharging my inner energy!
Comment by Aida Ravaie-O'Sullivan on November 16, 2009 at 7:53pm
Mina.....you really boost up my energy!!! I love this one....Christine Peard is right..you should write a book or two...

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