So this is word for word what I wrote on my facebook earlier this year..... It wasn't a complete "coming out" so-to-speak about my alopecia because not everyone reads every post by their 5 billion friends on facebook, but it was definitely a start. Also, I included some of the responses I got.




"*Disclaimer- This may be too much information for some people, so if learning something really big about me is uncomfortable for you, I suggest you stop reading

Dear World,
I have Alopecia!
I have alopecia areata and that has been my secret for over the past 15 years.
There may be those of you wondering: What is it?
Well, it is an autoimmune disease that causes massive hair loss. That is right, I am going bald. I've never been completely bald but I have to accept that as a possibility because it is getting worse and there is no cure for this. In fact, doctors don't really know what causes it. It doesn't appear to be genetic though they say that if a parent has it their children have a chance of inheriting it. No one in my very LARGE Mexican family has ever had alopecia before. Race isn't a factor, nor is age. I have been losing my hair since I was probably around 6 months old, but it is impossible to determine whether or not that was alopecia areata (AA) since it is common for infants to not have hair at that age.
What does this all mean?
This means that I lose more than the average amount of hair which results in bald spots or patches on my scalp. When I was young they were small, about the size of a pencil eraser. As I got older they grew to dime size, quarter size, the size of a golf ball, and softball size. They were never the same either. I would get a bald spot in one area then after a few months it would grow back only to fall out somewhere else.
I guess I can consider myself lucky, because despite being an autoimmune disease, a person with alopecia is normally very healthy, and I am. And things could have been a lot worse because Alopecia Areata is not the worst. There are three types of Alopecia: Alopecia Areata (AA), Alopecia Totalis (AT), and Alopecia Universalis (AU). AT is no hair on the scalp and AU is no body hair whatsoever.
Although growing up I can't ever remember a time not having any patches, they were a lot of times I was too happy to even notice or remember that I had alopecia. But no one can escape reality and there was something that always brought me back. Sometimes it was a new bald spot that interrupted the usual way I did my hair, or a special event that required me to do my hair in a way so that it would not "reveal" my little secret. Unfortunately as a child, my reality check was my mother, calling me over so she could show another mother who she was chatting with my bald spots. Why did THAT have to be what she told people about me? I used to feel like a side show circus freak. I tried telling my mom that I didn't want her to do that anymore, but she never seemed to understand that it bothered me so much, or why it should.
Though, like I said when I was younger it was very easy to forget, but as I got older my alopecia got worse and worse and it became harder to forget. It was especially difficult in high school (a rough time or most girls and their self-image.) It was nearly impossible to feel pretty, to feel wanted, when all you can think about is your hair - or the lack thereof. This lack of confidence eventually started to affect my everyday life. It was hard to get close to anyone because that would mean they would eventually find out about my secret, and that scared me. I was afraid of what they would think. I was afraid of being laughed at, being alienated, being teased. I didn't want people to think I was contagious and avoid me. I didn't want to be a freak in everyone else's eyes. I felt like a freak. I felt that not having all my hair (which, even with alopecia, was very thick when I was small) was almost as bad as not having an eye, or a pinky. Like something was always missing. I felt incomplete.
So all this time I have hid my alopecia from the world. Saying this much, typing this, was not an easy task, but I think a necessary one because - like I said it's been getting worse. Trying to hide it all this time came with its own worries. Now I worried how I would hide it, what excuses would I use to keep others from messing with my hair or trying to change my hairstyle. At times I was even quite rude to people who would try to touch my head. There was always the fear that I wouldn't cover it up properly and I would be "discovered" as having alopecia. I was so paranoid that people would see my bald spots and not say anything about it and make their own assumptions. That was one thing I knew I couldn't have. I didn't want anyone to think that I had cancer or that I was sick because I wasn't. I felt as if it was a dishonor to my sister's memory if people thought I had cancer. Also, I worried that people would assume that I had cancer and say something, not to me, but to my parents. Like pouring salt on the wound being reminded about my sisters death from cancer not long after I was born.
Now, I know some of you believe that all this secrecy was for nothing and that if I had been open and honest about this since the beginning that no one would judge, but that is not true. People can be cruel. For as many people who have been called strong and beautiful for being open about having alopecia and gone without wigs or cover-ups, there have been just as many (probably more) that have had to suffer through teasing, name calling, stares, and judgements. I have even seen young people who have been accused of shaving their hair for attention and don't believe there is such a thing as alopecia. People with alopecia (and myself included when my attempts at secrecy failed) been called ugly, and poked, and laughed at. I have heard the whispers behind my back before when people noticed spots without hair. Someone told the other girls at school that I didn't know how to use a razor, I have had my head poked while someone laughed "You have a bald spot!"
So my secret's out and now you are probably wondering why I decided to tell you all... and why NOW? Well, I'm done with letting this hold me back. To be honest, my alopecia has gotten to the point where it is beyond just hiding with a headband, or by pulling my hair back. Nearly everyday for the past six months I have been wearing a hat or bandana or some sort of head cover. I need to look into getting a hairpiece or a wig, but since my alopecia has never been this bad before, this is a very hard step for me and, truthfully, a hard fact to accept. This is probably the reason why I have finally gotten around to this. I have been meaning to do this for a long time, but I kept putting it off for the same reasons I kept it a secret before.
So now my secret is out. Judge me as you will, I don't care much anymore. I am done letting this control my life.



Paul F....... Good for you. Glad you decided to let this out. It will make you feel better in the long run. Hope everything works out.
January 15 at 10:57am

Jesus G....... Your story is very brave n inspiring
January 15 at 10:59am

Leslie C....... i praise you for your bravery! very inspiring!
January 15 at 11:14am

Jessica W..... Jessica,I think you are very brave for writing this down for everyone to see. This obviously being a very sensitive subject and affecting you the way it has your whole life. I hope that letting this part of yourself into the open will allow you to laugh more and not live in a state of paranoia that I'm sure you have had with you for a long time. Kudos to you sweetie! Now go get some really loud hairdoos and live it up!
January 15 at 11:33am

Jeff B...... I love you
January 15 at 12:06pm

Darla L T..... Paco beat me to the first words that crossed my mind. You have all my love little sister of my song-heart. *hugs tight*
January 15 at 12:29pm

Renee H... you've got my love & support ♥
January 15 at 2:26pm

Jessica R..... I had absolutely no idea. So you fooled me successfully =)

And wigs aren't all bad. One of my sister-in-laws has alopecia, she wears a wig all the time. Made doing her hair for her wedding really really easy! Plus she can change her hair color really easily, and can have short hair one day and long hair the next...there's a bit of silver lining there, for what it's worth.
January 15 at 3:20pm

Amy Haghighi Girl!! I am so impressed with you to be able to put yourself out there in such a way. That's a huge step and I hope the best for you. I know how hard it can be but you will always be beautiful no matter what hair is(or isn't) on your head!!! Keep on being strong chica and take care!!!!
January 17 at 8:42am

April N... Jessica, thank you so much for posting this. And I love reading the wonderful comments. You have a great support system! :) If I post a note along these lines, I will "tag" you in it so you can read it. Your story is so similar to mine. *hugs* to you!
January 18 at 7:16pm

Галя Молодая ... Jessica, you are really brave girl and I hope it is better for you mentally when your inner worries got out of you!!! I believe you'll be great and your optimism will flood away all bad memories! Cheer up, you are the BEST ;))!!!
January 20 at 8:34am

Kimberlee Vander M... I saw your current status and then turned into a massive facebook stalker because I was SO worried :-p

I know you are one brave strong chicka and you won't let stupid narrow minded people bring you down. You are a beautiful girl -- always will be :D
February 17 at 7:51am"