Comment by Mary on November 6, 2009 at 9:08pm

I understand how you feel. Recently at the public library, the woman behind the desk complimented me on my look (bald), and commented that she wished she had the courage to go for it. I asked in disbelief whether she thought I was bald intentionally, and I could tell that she thought I was making a "fashion statement"!

Another time, a guy at the gym asked me about my "choice" of hairstyle.

I guess it's better than being mistaken for a cancer patient.

Feel better soon!

Comment by Tenille Gee on November 6, 2009 at 9:26pm

true enough, better than cancer patient, however, soooo very tired of being "complimented" guess it's better than people telling you that you look like crap right?

Comment by Carol on November 7, 2009 at 3:56pm

You're lucky that's all you got. When I step into the hospital or doctor's office it is a major issue. Nurses run over to me offering a mask because they think I'm a chemo patient - everytime!!! It's easier for me to say "no this is not a fashion statement, I have alopecia" than to ward people off who think I'm dying. That may be part of the reason I deny help from others though, I just don't want to be pitied.

Comment by Tenille Gee on November 7, 2009 at 10:57pm

I do definitely agree with you Laurie that I try to find common ground with people on a regular basis, I too make comments regarding earrings, outfits, etc. that I like or that catch my attention. I spend most of my day, people watching and I one of my favorite things is to meet new people and learn more about them. The reason for my frustration was not the asking, "is it a fashion statement" it was the look of, "so, you think you are cool because you shave your head" If it was something to do because it was, "the cool thing" that would be fine but it was a very hard decision for me and it took a lot of courage, it is who I am because it is, for me, who I HAVE to be, who I have made myself be because I don't have any choice that I have lost my hair. Instead of being able to have "fashion statements" and dying my hair blue or pink or whatever color under the rainbow, my options are, live with embarrassing patches that make me totally uncomfortable, or shave and be....me.

Comment by Tenille Gee on November 7, 2009 at 11:00pm

FYI, you are totally correct though, there is no "tactful" way to ask why someone is bald. As I said, just venting, not saying the person was right or wrong for doing it. Just made me think... a little too much I guess.

Comment by Mary on November 8, 2009 at 9:48am

Yes, Laurie - it's all about "I am not my hair...or lack thereof"!

Comment by Pam Fitros on November 8, 2009 at 12:14pm

Isn't Poppa God (or whatever each of you call him/her) wonderful? None of us has asked for this condition. All of us have had to choose between letting it bury us emotionally or climbing over it and using it as steppings stones to personal growth. Look at all the responses here from women who have chosen to use the issues surrounding Alopecia as stepping stones for themselves and teachable moments for Alopecia awareness for others.

No one person or organization is the center cog in the wheel of Alopecia...the autoimmune disorder itself is the center and our individual responses to it are the spokes and our world wide collective contact and interconnectedness is the energy that moves the wheel of making room in this world for bald women to walk about without shame and pain. Alopecia World is such a blessing, a godsend through Cheryl and rj. And we are all both blessed and blessings to others. Here's to each of you as you turn Alopecia into stepping stones!

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