Alopecia World
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Feeling a bout of depression come on
I thought I was doing ok with my great bonded on hair system and all, but the last couple of days I have been feeling worse and worse. I went to this nail place to fix a wonky nail that is probably caused by alopecia in some way for all I know, and while I was there they told me that they could fix my uneven eyelashes with their individual lash extensions, and I was so excited. I have one eye with full, long thick lashes and another one that is extremely sparse. I don't know why they took my money in the first place and I am feeling very stupid for not looking into this first. The eye that doesn't need extra lashes in the first place looked great, the other one couldn't hold the lashes and I ended up having to remove it, and it took the little baby lashes that were starting to grow in with it. Now I have one eye completely bare and one that looks normal. I have been experimenting with wearing one false eyelash to match the other one and it really is a pain in the a$$ dealing with this, and when I take it off at night I feel like a freak, an asymetrical freak!
I am also ordering a new hair system that will be half Euro hair and half biolon, which is top of the line synthetic and can be heat styled. I am very nervous about trying something different and fear that I will spend over $2,000 on something that I am unhappy with. I wear very blonde hair and the overprocessed hair can be really fragile so the biolon is supposed to make my system last longer, but I am really having a panic attack about all of this. Maybe I should just stick with ordering another system that is the same as the one I have. Alopecia is costing me a frickin fortune. I also have one normal eyebrow and one eyebrow that is sparse so it is just whack!
I am a young,fit woman and I haven't dated since I got alopecia six years ago and I have recently been thinking that I am ready to start dating again, but the thought of dating with alopecia just fills me with anxiety, maybe I am better off alone. Dating was hard enough when I had a beautiful head of hair, eyelashes and eyebrows. I just feel so depressed. It is so exhausting just trying to look normal. I am tearing up right now. I just want to thank you all for your support. I guess I'm just having a bad night!
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Comment by Norm on July 29, 2012 at 12:33pm
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DC, it's OK to have bad days, honest! It's only when the bad days are constant that you wanna worry. Anyway, I've heard even peeps who DO have hair get "down" too, from time to time :)
Your new hair system.... well, it's something you gotta try, isn't it? If you didn't, you'd be saying "what if..?" for the next XXXX years, right? You know this - you know you have to try new stuff from time to time. Think of it as being like a holiday to somewhere new, after you've been going to the same place for years. You gotta spend some money not knowing how much you'll like it, but you don't wanna keep doing the same old, same old..... and how else will you ever learn or discover new things?
As for the dating.... just get out there and give it a go! If you wear a bonded system, who's going to know anyway, unless you tell them? Sure, you might get knock-backs, but so does everyone! It's like any other game... if you ain't in it, you can't win it :)
So just treat it as a bit of fun rather than something that's deadly serious, and you know what? You'll have 'em queueing round the block before you know it!
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Comment by Tallgirl on July 29, 2012 at 1:00pm
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Yes, mirrors in the modern age can become enemies with alopecia. I suppose the women in ancient times never KNEW or had to "face" alopecia, without mirrors. My trick is to avoid mirrors at home or work except to check wig and lipstick, but to do the eyebrows and eyeliner before even leaving the driveway or work parking lot in the morning. Only part of a head shows in the car visor mirror, so stress is reduced. At someone else's house, I wear make-up and scarf to bed, and take a make-up bag into the restroom for touch-up before breakfast. You can redo everything while bathing and changing before leaving the house (your house or whatever house you are visiting). Practice at girlfriends' houses or a cousin's house. Simple dating, with no overnights? No prob. Just don't use mascara or false eyelashes, and goop on the eyeliner and shadow equally on both eyes. Good luck!
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Comment by Dominique Cleopatra on July 30, 2012 at 1:56am
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Thanks for all the support and kind words! Even though I don't blog very often, I visit this site every day to remind myself that I'm not alone : )
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Comment by You can do it : ) on July 30, 2012 at 6:40am
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Its good you went out there and tried something new. Sorry your having a bad day those are the worst . That feeling of lowness is awful.
Keep your head up, your strong even if you dont feel it right now.
Good luck glad you have this website
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You are completely entitled to days of depression; this can be such a hard disease to cope with. Find a way to pamper yourself today, you have earned it
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Comment by Joni on August 1, 2012 at 3:42pm
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Dominique - I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. It's not fair and you don't deserve it but you will get through it - promise. Go ahead and date. There are lots of guys out there who deserve a chance and will see you for who you are inside. A few missing eyelashes won't get in their way. I have AU and when I first met the man I'm married to now, I told him right off the bat about it and he just shrugged and smiled as if to say, "Okay. Anything else?" and that was it. He loves me for who I am, not my hair or lack of it. If I can do this, so can you! Get out there and don't mind the idiots along the way who don't know a good thing when they see it.
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Thanks Joni : ) I'm having some fun experimenting with wearing one false eyelash. I've been wearing a MAC lash with Duo eyelash glue and that seems to be a good combination. I watched a You Tube Tutorial with a lovely British woman who has alopecia and she showed how to apply lashes when you don't have any of your own. Hint: cutting them to fit your eyes and curling them are key, as is using a good lash glue like Duo! Thanks for all the support. I'm feeling a little better already!
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