I'm not even sure what I feel right now. I am going to school to be a sign language interpreter so I am comfortable with being involved with the Deaf culture/Deaf community and I have always imagined how life would be if my daughter was somehow different from other kids. I thought that I would embrase it with positivity and open mindedness, that it would not change a thing. That I would adapt and do what needed to be done without feeling sad for her but I just can't do that right now. I don't even know how I feel, I feel so many different feelings all at once. On one hand I feel horrible for her and on the other I feel major guilt because a small part of me feels happy that she now has a alopecia community to be a part of, as this makes her unique and special some how. Her pedi made it sound like this was no big deal and nothing to worry about but I can't help but worry. I will always love her more than I ever imagined possible but I still worry about kids being so cruel and what she will have to deal with emotionally. I think part of why I feel so confussed comes from her being in pageants and while they are all natural beauty pageants to help build self esteem, now when she will need self esteem the most, I don't know if pageants is a way to provide that anymore. I'm just really confussed. I'm so thankful I found this site, God Bless. Shay