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Female Pattern Baldness- too young for this!
So, it seems like there's this huge stigma with a lot of us who have it... we feel less feminine and I feel like I'm aging prematurely (no wrinkles yet though!). I think that's what really freaks me out about it and makes me feel terrible about myself... when this first started happening to me, I felt like my body was falling apart and there was something wrong with me. I've read a lot of discussions on this site and there were some people with AA angry that more research isn't being done and no one is trying to find a treatment for this condition and I think rightly so. So I searched more discussions and ended up reading some really old ones.. and some people were saying how come male pattern baldness has more treatment options even though it's just normal and happens naturally because of aging. And I don't think it's fair that men with this are the only ones who can treat it successfully. Women with FPB are a minority, they aren't too motivated to help because there may not be much money in it, I'm guessing. So they found a way to freeze people's faces called botox, and then they want to say they can't afford treatments for everyone else losing their hair. But I know, too, it's not normal to me that I got female pattern baldness at 25. I don't feel normal anyways. It's not normal some women started losing their hair right after puberty. I feel like an old grandpa. "Pattern Baldness", ugh the sound of it alone gives me chills. Everything I believed was utter bullshit, that women never lost their hair like men do. I can't even imagine what I'll look like 20 years from now! I was watching a movie called Bridesmaids and the romantic love interest guy was telling the leading lady a story about how his sister's hair started falling out when she was a bridesmaid, because of the stress. And then he said it grew back, but that it was really gross. That's our media! All the images of these "perfect" looking women with long flowing locks, looking thin, tan and rich. I'm literally tired of beauty, or whatever that is. And every other time I watch tv, a commercial comes on for Hairclub, and it's so embarrassing when that commercial comes on and I'm with someone who knows that I'm losing my hair. Oh, and the commercial for Bosley hair implants. This shite is being shoved down our throats constantly and sometimes I wish I could be "unplugged" from the "real" fake world... as women especially, the pressure to look "hot" (or someone else's definition) is so overwhelming, we get really wrapped up in our appearances and external things that we lose sight of the bigger picture. Before I lost my hair, I always made sure I looked good and I wasn't realizing how it held too much importance for me. Yeah, it's good to take pride in your appearance but I don't think I ever had a day back then when I didn't give a shit, unless I was going to the beach or hiking. I admit it. There needs to be days when I don't give a shit! And sometimes I feel like losing my hair is a message given to me to break off from all this babble. I just wish I could have learned and matured on my own without something forcing me to. I just can't help but feel like crap about how I look sometimes. I just wish it didn't matter so much and I wouldn't feel so afraid of others' reactions to me. To be a woman and lose your hair in this society is an eye opening experience. I just have to learn to cope with feeling like my youth was taken from me so early. I know it should only be important how *I* feel about how I look... who cares about whether other people find me attractive right? But I'm having major issue about how I look to myself, and the only way I know how to cope is to remember that we are so much more than our appearances. The babble of society is still in my head. Women are still pressured to be a pretty picture in this world and does anyone care about the rest? we're objectified grossly and everyone seems fine with the status quo, and all this bullshit. What about WHO we are and what about our ugly sides? Is there not a place for that? The world is so fake.
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Comment by Kycie on November 24, 2011 at 8:26pm
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Two weeks ago I was talking to someone at one of my hangouts in San Pedro CA. ( one of those biker leather shops) I did a social experiment. I decided to spontaneously take my wig off without any commercial interference or public service announcement. Now..., my expectation was to get a " you go girl, like you just the same@ high five! Instead,I was taken back by a look of ughhhhh, what- you.., I hope it is ok that I ask, how long have you been.sick, cancer? ( Ironic tiday because that is a much more relevant question I am asking.myself). When I shared about my truthful hairloss, I immediatelt was barraged with questions about my nutrition habits, hair care prioducts, facial cleanser, faciak mosturisers, and even an adminission to stopbdrinking the spring water in my hand. Then I was offered a free trial of " special water to spray on my head." Like being bald took away my specialness as a woman ( NOT)
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I can relate to everyones experiences. I am amazed at the candor, authentic self- revealing, and most importantly the uniqueness of expressive insights, compelling motivations, and recipricol caring. I am so appreciative and I am feeling less alone in my own personal process. Thanks
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Comment by Lili on November 24, 2011 at 8:41pm
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Spring water? Lol, that's a new one. People just have no clue, it gets tiring having to educate people about it constantly. *sighs*
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Comment by ShoCorona on November 26, 2011 at 6:14pm
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Well said Lilli...
There is sooooooooooooooo much pressure on us women today. I'm new to all of this and in my wildest nightmares never imagined I would lose all my hair in 10 days and become a bald headed woman. I think the loss of my eyebrows and eyelashes turned me into an alien overnight *sigh* My confidence has well and truly been thrown out the window and it's a difficult demon to deal with :(
But hey-ho I'm hoping that one day again I will have hair and be myself again..
shO :)
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10 days... that is fast. My confidence has really dropped as well, BUT I think the best way to attack it is to try to find happy things in life to distract, and fill what feels empty and missing... in case the hair never grows back...
But I know what you mean, I have hopes that my hair will grow back too (it has before). There's nothing wrong with hope. ;)
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Comment by Tiffany P on November 30, 2011 at 4:15pm
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I started thinning at 25 and now at 29 its scary thin and i do nothing but wear scarves. For so long i destracted myself from thinking about until it was time to wash my hair and then boom i was thinking about how i have to enter my 30's and have to shave my head and just broke down. there are girls at my job who said they are having severe hairloss and i sympathize but i also feel guilty because now i dont feel alone when im at work and it kinda makes me feel better :0/ your right acceptance is our only option if we dont we will always be sad and wont enjoy life like we should, i can still walk,see,hear and do things for myself i need to be grateful for that and move on. :o) hope your having a great day
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Thanks for your response, Tiffany... I'm having a hard time with it too and it started at the same age for me. I wish I could have my hair back, but for now I wig it. I need to cheer up and live the life I want , for now the wigs help and talking with all you ladies. Also all the beautiful bald ladies here. (Hugs)
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