Alopecia World
www.alopeciaworld.com
A breakup during hairloss
I don't know about you, but I find that hair loss makes things like this even harder.
I had a few months of stability in my hair loss, and even some regrowth. Then, it started up again. It's now going strong, yet I still look presentable. Well, just about. Last night, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. This is so devastating to me. I cried all night last night, a little this morning and I feel like part of me is dead at the moment. I don't believe we broke up because of my hair loss, seeing as he's been extremely supportive (as much as a boyfriend can be) about it. To be perfectly honest, I haven't been feeling well lately and depression has settled in. It's robbing me of my personality and joy in life. My boyfriend and I barely saw each other anymore, and hadn't even hung out together in the daytime for quite a while. I always feel crappy about myself and my looks in the daytime, and it takes a lot of strength for me to get the courage to do my hair and makeup.
AND we hadn't seen each other even once in the past two weeks, because we'd been fighting. My hair loss is making me an insecure person and I don't trust people as much anymore, and I was freaking out about my shed being so high lately...
I stopped devoting myself and put no time or effort into my relationship... but I was working up the strength to cope with my present life again. Yesterday I was asking him if he wanted spend some time together finally, and he told me that he couldn't do it anymore.
I know I should have seen it coming. Logically, I understand that this makes perfect sense and I don't blame him for wanting out.
But I'm going through things now that I never went through before. Like fearing that I'll never again find love, that the only man who accepted me for me is now gone. So between losing someone I love and my hair clogging the drain every day, I'm extremely stressed and in so much pain.
Tomorrow is supposed to be the best day of my life! I'm getting to go and see Beats Antique (my favorite band) and see Zoe Jakes dance (my favorite dancer). But I'm afraid I won't be able to enjoy it. Why can't I just forget everything that's going on for a little while? I'm so afraid of going and not being able to have fun, and mucking up this amazing opportunity. I had a hard time smiling today, but forced myself to anyways. I have my fingers crossed that I'll be able to appreciate the moment tomorrow, and just relax. I know that in time, this will get easier. But seriously, what bad timing.
I had a few months of stability in my hair loss, and even some regrowth. Then, it started up again. It's now going strong, yet I still look presentable. Well, just about. Last night, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. This is so devastating to me. I cried all night last night, a little this morning and I feel like part of me is dead at the moment. I don't believe we broke up because of my hair loss, seeing as he's been extremely supportive (as much as a boyfriend can be) about it. To be perfectly honest, I haven't been feeling well lately and depression has settled in. It's robbing me of my personality and joy in life. My boyfriend and I barely saw each other anymore, and hadn't even hung out together in the daytime for quite a while. I always feel crappy about myself and my looks in the daytime, and it takes a lot of strength for me to get the courage to do my hair and makeup.
AND we hadn't seen each other even once in the past two weeks, because we'd been fighting. My hair loss is making me an insecure person and I don't trust people as much anymore, and I was freaking out about my shed being so high lately...
I stopped devoting myself and put no time or effort into my relationship... but I was working up the strength to cope with my present life again. Yesterday I was asking him if he wanted spend some time together finally, and he told me that he couldn't do it anymore.
I know I should have seen it coming. Logically, I understand that this makes perfect sense and I don't blame him for wanting out.
But I'm going through things now that I never went through before. Like fearing that I'll never again find love, that the only man who accepted me for me is now gone. So between losing someone I love and my hair clogging the drain every day, I'm extremely stressed and in so much pain.
Tomorrow is supposed to be the best day of my life! I'm getting to go and see Beats Antique (my favorite band) and see Zoe Jakes dance (my favorite dancer). But I'm afraid I won't be able to enjoy it. Why can't I just forget everything that's going on for a little while? I'm so afraid of going and not being able to have fun, and mucking up this amazing opportunity. I had a hard time smiling today, but forced myself to anyways. I have my fingers crossed that I'll be able to appreciate the moment tomorrow, and just relax. I know that in time, this will get easier. But seriously, what bad timing.
-
Comment by Lili on October 7, 2011 at 10:10pm
-
Comment by Tallgirl on October 7, 2011 at 11:39pm
-
I have only had two Special Relationships with alopecia: one at 17 with AA, one starting at 57 with AT...40 years apart! In between I had hair, so I won't count what happened then (some good, some bad). So...I guess it CAN happen again.
Don't try to PREDICT bad times, or the prediction will come true. Bad times come and go anyway, for all people. Just develop quick methods of enduring, overcoming, or ignoring. Keep a bag of personal tricks to bounce back, because even journal-writing can get morbid if you obsess. Yep...timing CAN suck. However, serendipity can amaze. Seek out The Awesome Occurrences, and dwell on those instead...hair or no hair.
-
Comment by Eliza alisa abgail on October 8, 2011 at 1:38pm
-
You gotta ask yourself is the hair loss doing this or you? . Your looks have never left you nor has your personality they are all there. So why are you coping badly and you should vent your heart out then. Tell yourself now i have hair loss what am I going to do? Take a stand. Get a wig or look into options. Experiment. Go out and have fun. You will find someone someday. But you have more important issues to focus on. Don't doubt yourself, You are beautiful and let your confidence show and how knows a lovely man will come in your life.
-
-
who knows*
-
Comment by LilyBell*Murphy'sLawLuvsMe on October 8, 2011 at 2:05pm
-
Weather he walked for your hair loss or the depression - he still walked when you needed his support - so he is not WORTHY of YOU!!!! Peroid. People who love you do not abandon you when you need them most. That being said - since you are not feeling good about yourself and think you have now slipped into depression - maybe you should also visit a doctor and see if there is something that can help you on that front. Also, get a wig or a topper or some hats or whatever will make it easier as these often provide a quick pick me up. Hope you feel better soon xoxoxoxo
-
Comment by Amy on October 8, 2011 at 5:33pm
-
I am so sorry that you are going thru this. Break-ups are never easy. You are such a pretty girl! Make yourself feel good by putting on your make-up and some cute clothes! Have a.fun time at your show tonight!
-
Comment by Elizabeth on October 8, 2011 at 10:39pm
-
I'm very sorry to hear about your break up, I know how tough it can be. When my ex boyfriend left me, I kept thinking to myself, "Does'nt he know I'm losing hair, why is he making this harder on me"? Take comfort in this, you're a beautiful girl, and you will find someone that deserves to have you in his life. Don't let Alopecia rob others of having "Lili" in their life. Take care of yourself, smile, put your dancing shoes on and go party, and sing your butt off listening to your favorite band, and have the best day of your life:)
-
Comment by Laura Dasi on October 9, 2011 at 2:22pm
-
You'll get through it Lili, just give yourself time. Allow feelings of sadness and loss to have their place, then move on to make room for acceptance and love. I'm going through a break up right now too and although we remain good friends and still hang out, we know we are ultimately not right for each other to be life partners. I too have been feeling like no one will want to date me because of my looks. But anyone who is truly worthy will be able to see past the surface into the depth and beauty of your soul and all the unique gifts you have to offer this world. It takes a certain strength to be able to face the world with alopecia, to love ourselves completely even if we look different. Let that strength shine through and you will attract the kind of partner you deserve. (And believe me, this advice is so much easier to give to another than it is to take into my own heart! But in my times of struggle, these are the things I try to remind myself of.)
-
Comment by R0BB on October 10, 2011 at 11:52am
-
Be glad the punk didnt waste more of your time on this planet.
Keep smilin , move on and get ready to meet someone new !!
-
-
Thank you so much everyone. You've all given me a lot to think about. It feels really good to know there are people out there who care.
Me and the guy? We are talking about trying to work it out, but right now nothing is certain and I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just taking it each day at a time, trying to be nice to myself.
<3
© 2024 Created by Alopecia World.
Powered by
You need to be a member of Alopecia World to add comments!
Join Alopecia World