I am a First Lady. I am the wife of a pastor of a church in Houston. I am also a preacher. I have alopecia. I am bald headed. Wow! What a relief that was. I was told by a preacher friend of mines not to share my condition with anyone at the church for fear that they would mock me or spread rumors about me. I wore wigs and hats and covered the shame of a bald head and bald spots. I cry late at night and all throughout the day not able to share my pain with anyone. I am fearful of their words,stares, remarks. Who would understand that a first lady of a church is hairless. We pride ourselves on our outward beauty because so many people are watching. We don't want to shame nor embarrass our husbands of our hideous condition. The people must not know that we suffer and go through things ourselves. Perfection, perfection, perfection...from head to toe, perfection. Yet the whole while we wear our wigs and hats and smile...face made up, high heels high and we walk and talk as if all is well. But we feel worthless, unattractive and depressed. We questioned God and asked Him WHY a million times. And yet He does not answer. He is silent and my hair keeps falling out.

Well, what if I don't want to wear a wig? What if I don't want to wear a hat? What if God is silent because He says, "My grace is sufficient."? What if I am tired of being ashamed of something I have no control over? What If I have the grace and beauty to rock this bald head? My man better support me as much as I have supported him! I mean that! I loved on you, supported you, had allll you kids, keep your house clean, cooked your food, picked up after everyone, wash, fold and make love to you like you like it!!!...Yeah, he supports me! He loves me and comforts me through my season. He even kisses my bald head, holds me tight and tells me I am beautiful. I cry. Then I become strong. I am not afraid of you or what you think! I am not afraid of me. You keep the hats and and wigs...I want to be free...I am the First Lady to be bald and beautiful and I am not ashamed...God gave me the grace!