First Bald-Headed Lady

I am a First Lady. I am the wife of a pastor of a church in Houston. I am also a preacher. I have alopecia. I am bald headed. Wow! What a relief that was. I was told by a preacher friend of mines not to share my condition with anyone at the church for fear that they would mock me or spread rumors about me. I wore wigs and hats and covered the shame of a bald head and bald spots. I cry late at night and all throughout the day not able to share my pain with anyone. I am fearful of their words,stares, remarks. Who would understand that a first lady of a church is hairless. We pride ourselves on our outward beauty because so many people are watching. We don't want to shame nor embarrass our husbands of our hideous condition. The people must not know that we suffer and go through things ourselves. Perfection, perfection, perfection...from head to toe, perfection. Yet the whole while we wear our wigs and hats and smile...face made up, high heels high and we walk and talk as if all is well. But we feel worthless, unattractive and depressed. We questioned God and asked Him WHY a million times. And yet He does not answer. He is silent and my hair keeps falling out.

Well, what if I don't want to wear a wig? What if I don't want to wear a hat? What if God is silent because He says, "My grace is sufficient."? What if I am tired of being ashamed of something I have no control over? What If I have the grace and beauty to rock this bald head? My man better support me as much as I have supported him! I mean that! I loved on you, supported you, had allll you kids, keep your house clean, cooked your food, picked up after everyone, wash, fold and make love to you like you like it!!!...Yeah, he supports me! He loves me and comforts me through my season. He even kisses my bald head, holds me tight and tells me I am beautiful. I cry. Then I become strong. I am not afraid of you or what you think! I am not afraid of me. You keep the hats and and wigs...I want to be free...I am the First Lady to be bald and beautiful and I am not ashamed...God gave me the grace!

Views: 207

Comment

You need to be a member of Alopecia World to add comments!

Join Alopecia World

Comment by PJ on November 9, 2011 at 10:39pm

Praise the Lord, Sis. First Lady....I was just sitting here going through the discussions and blogs, the site in general.I am believing that God directed me to your blog because I was feeling a little down. I had just told my husband how I felt and he jokingly said.."Put your hair back on". First of all it is beginning to get cold and I have began to stack up on hats.

What a familiar testimony. I say testimony because I say that is what it is when I tell about my deliverance. Everything you mention is identical, except being the first lady. My script is that I am on the mass choir at my church. My thoughts were the same as yours. I must say that this website encourages others facing the same turmoil,and to be truthful tonight, I was getting a little down, until I read your blog.Iron sharpens iron..When the Lord delivered me from the shame back in August of this year, I lost it on the choir loft while singing Richard Smallwood's "Trust" song. It was that day when I first expose my bald head and I walked with my head up high while entering the sanctuary.

There were eyes on me, which I expected, but there was no shame on my part. I have been suffering from the loss of my hair for about 20 years.needles in my head....wearing hair pieces, going to the Hair Club spending thousands of dollars, wearing wigs..braids..taking this taking that with the hopes that my hair would come back. It was causing friction in my home with my husband because he was tired of me complaining about my hair. He loves me, I could not imagine being without hair and still having his love still there. But he loves me..he shaved my head..I respect him for that.

The Pastor and First Lady of a Church are human just as the sheep..and you too are allowed to be human and have the same feelings as we do. When I walked off the choir loft I had woman coming to me first asking if I was okay..you know, they wanted to know if I had cancer. I told them no...its alopecia and I am tired of wearing a "mask". We had just had the earthquake,hurrican and a tropical storm..I am still alive, my children, grandchilden, I am not sick, at least God has not told me and I am not claiming it, so I am going to live and be happy. My husband is there for me and really, I did not know that I had a nice shaped head...smile. I have been told that I am bold...that it looks nice..that I can wear that style...I received so many compliments. And I am different. I am making a statement for others who are with cancer, or losing hair as a result of alopecia.

I know that we have to encourage ourselves, if no one else does. I know that God has a purpose and plan for all of us. I know that I am alive. I know that I love me. My husband supports me. I had hair...I been there done that, I say to myself..I have pictures...I am now almost 56 years old, blessed to be retired, and I am trying to look on the bright side...think of good things.

You'll be in my prayers. Do YOU...your heart will remain the same. Jesus is there...the love is there...God looks at the heart....and it says that the woman's glory is in her hair...well, my heart is important in God's eyes...and those who say they love you will still love you because you will still me YOU. God bless you!

Comment by Tallgirl on November 9, 2011 at 7:45pm

And what a way to really test THEIR kindness and spirituality, hm?

Comment by lovelyjan on November 9, 2011 at 7:12pm

Rock on First Lady and feel no shame.

Disclaimer

Any mention of products and services on Alopecia World is for informational purposes only; it does not imply a recommendation or endorsement by Alopecia World. Nor should any statement or representation on this site be construed as professional, medical or expert advice, or as pre-screened or endorsed by Alopecia World. Alopecia World is not responsible or liable for any of the views, opinions or conduct, online or offline, of any user or member of Alopecia World.

© 2025   Created by Alopecia World.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service