Comment by Dominique on January 5, 2009 at 8:59pm

Hi Debbie,

I think for alot of people - your identity can be very wrapped up in what you look like. Not only if people call you beautiful because of your blue eyes and blonde hair - but also if they call you unattractive because you've got red hair and freckles (like so many kids get teased about).

For me - it was never having had hair, and being bald my entire life that has affected my concept of my identity. The immediate assumption by many people that I'm alternative, that I chose to do it, that I'm a making a statement. When I was younger, it started making me think I'd be better off if I acted like I was alternative, joined groups that were more alternative and just went with this image that was imposed on me.

Turns out - I'm just an individual for who I am - my spirit and personality is really what set me aside, not my hair - or lack there of.

Regardless of how you learn it - your appearance is not your identity - is an important lesson.

It may have messed you up - but take something from that - your hairloss is not your identity either.

Comment by Alexandra on January 6, 2009 at 2:28pm

I couldn't have said it better myself! It's like you don't feel like you're you anymore. Like you're a different person, or a shadow of what you used to be.
In time, that feeling will pass. It did with me. I, too, had long wavy blonde hair that everybody complimented and loved. They called it my 'trademark'. It may sounds nice to have a trademark, but really, do you just want to be known for your hair? There are so many other aspects of you that can shine!
It's important to remember that you're still the same person. You don't need blonde hair to be you. Anybody who deserves to be with you with realize that. And if you still want the hair, there are always wigs, as I'm sure you already know. =)
Good luck, and feel free to talk to me whenever!
Alexandra

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