Comment by Tiffany P on August 19, 2010 at 11:02pm

I'm sorry your going thru a hard tiime but no where alone in your thoughts, i myself still have moments of anger,fear and frustration but i have come to realize that having no hair is now my reality and either i stand in my own way and continue to be unhappy or i step out of my own way and find out the best solution for me and move on. You will find someone someday, you wont stay alone unless you push people away for i believe theirs someone for everyone. HUmans have the amazing ability to adapt to their surroundings and situations and you will get the point that you will get tired of being sad and angry and start focusing on what you do have and what you can control. i hope only the best and still have moments but i'm slowly getting out of my own way and you will too

Comment by Marisa on August 19, 2010 at 11:17pm

I think we all have days when we feel EXACTLY like you do...I know I do anyhow. You are NOT ALONE in your thinking or feelings. I don't know if you are a spiritual person or not, but I always try to think about his little prayer...GOD GRANT ME THE SERINITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CAN NOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE...

We can not change the fact our hair has gone...we can change our attitude (harder some days) and that may make the difference in how we live....LIFE IS SHORT AND THIS IS NOT A DRESS REHERSAL...so try and live happily...and try and remember you are NOT ALONE...Blessing to you!!!

Comment by Tallgirl on August 19, 2010 at 11:34pm

Okay. I am getting that you come from probably a world where the females always talk about getting the man, marriage, etc. AS MINE DID in a Russian/Polish culture. They ask every single gal when she is getting married, and every married gal when she will start having babies. It is what they do, how they establish that a female is part of the Great Continuum, and is following tradition. The only other thing it can be is trying to measure up to your girlfriends' or sisters' standards of beauty...or to match the magazines. How Barbie-Doll we get every other generation! (During Women's Lib, the earthier one was, the more she was accepted among "sisters"!)

But, what of the girls who, even with hair, didn't get to the prom or walk the aisle? They are out there, and some of them are more interested in defying culture, getting ahead in college or career, travelling, making a discovery or painting, etc. either before or after age 30. Some are not great beauties, nor slim...but they accomplish much more on Earth than those who just stand in front of mirrors or who get boys to do things for them because they look a certain way. And as for older or divorced folks...hey, eventually we all have to get the car fixed or pay the bills on our own! NO ONE REALLY CARES if we do it with or without hair. The better the wig, of course, the less people ask anything at all...so try many on AT A SALON to pick the one that fits who you are. If you decide to brave it bald, then you need great strength to shrug off comments. But shame? Why is this your FAULT? It is NOT, so no SHAME is needed. Explore where that idea originates.

Why would this keep you away from the life you want? Let's say you were born bald on a planet of bald people. You would go on accomplishing things, right? You would MATCH everyone in head looks, but you would still have other differences in health, height, weight, facial features, smarts, skills, talents and personality. Would any of these differences make you feel lonliness, anger, fear or frustration? Why just hair as the start of such feelings? Bald Uncle Jack certainly has love and joy, plus career stories...so will you.

Only you can go out there and make friends for yourself. Join classes, clubs, support groups, seminars. Get on a bowling or volleyball league. Enter some art shows. When I moved across a whole country to a new town where I knew No One, I started inviting the 10 most interesting people I met each month to a potluck...then each of THEM had to invite the 10 most interesting the next month to MY next party, and so on...so I developed very interesting friends who knew each other, remembered my parties, and were mostly in my career. Anyone can do this, and you are "safe" because it is on your own turf and you are hand-picking the initial guests. You control at least part of the list!

Go to some chemo/cancer support groups at hospitals to find wig wearers, or www.naaf.org to find alopecia groups in your area. Change up that guest list to leave OUT people who only care about looks or hair. You may find that the quality of the conversations improves!

Comment by Mary on August 21, 2010 at 11:04am

Susan said just about exactly what I would write, so I won't repeat it all. Check out my page for videos (particularly "Living a Bald Life"), photos and blog discussions that you may find helpful. It's taken me two years to go from not being able to stand looking in the mirror and not being able to go out in public, to not giving a damn who sees me bald. Tuesday night I did swing dancing in front of about 2,000 people at an outdoor Big Band concert....no problem. Baby steps, fake it til you make it, acceptance....Good luck, Mary

Comment by Krissie on August 23, 2010 at 2:37am

Thank u all for the replies. I Love this site, and i love all of u! I feel so much stonger and more optimistic everytime im here. I just had a bad week. Things always do get better. It is about taking ur life back after something like this, well, anything life changing for that matter. I will not let this win. I will be happy. I will have all that I want in life. Thanx all!

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