Comment by Tiffany P on May 21, 2010 at 2:26am

When i started really noticing the thinning i started wearing scarves and cut my hair and a few women made comments like "whats wrong with your hair?" why did you cut it off?" and then would shake their head like as if i offended them and then they started cracking jokes about my scarves. like you at first i was upset and i did cry in the bathroom but after a day or two noone said anything and in fact people pretty much are used to the fact that i wear scarves all the time and because i told a couple of people about my condition i'm sure they know now. in the end people say thing thats they either think is helping you or that they think is amusing, i find most poeple dont think before they speak. try not to take it personal and brush them off because the sad fact is your going to be coming across mindless people for the rest of your life with or without your hair. i'm sorry it ruined your day but this stuff happens to the best of us, keep your head up honey. because while your spending your whole day upset the other person has so much going on in their own lives that they forget what happened by the next hour. hugs

Comment by Jennifer Easter on May 21, 2010 at 7:49am

krissie, thats how every day is at my work... women can be so mean... its like they are stuck in the "mean-girl" phase from highschool. im a very emotional person, so i have spent some time crying in the bathroom & know what you are going thru. i wear scarves all the time, except at work becuse my boss, like i said, is one of those "mean-girls" & she wont let me wear them there. nothing like being "the bald girl at the bank"! im so over all her meanness that i am planning on shaving it all off next weekend & coming in completely BALD! see how she likes that! lol... i guess after so much of the crap, you just get over even caring what others say. SCREW THEM! but i know its easy to say, but hard to do. im right there with ya :)

Comment by Dana Kozlowski on May 21, 2010 at 9:46am

Susan your comments always make me feel more at ease. Krissie I would say Jennifer is so right women will be women. I recently bought a hairpiece to cover that large spots on the top of my head (it looks great and natural) the piece is a bit thicker that my hair and some people (the nice ones ) just comment and love my hair and there are others that give me this look trying to figure out what I did and why my hair is different. I work with 2 very rude women that don't know how to make good comments unless it is about them. Avoiding people like this is best and look at the positive. I changed my outlook just recently and distance myself from those people.

Comment by Jenna4 on May 21, 2010 at 11:42am

Hi Krissie...I am so sorry that you have to deal with this negative nastiness on a daily basis. I never wore a topper, I almost bought one but it cost $500 and I didn't see the point in paying that much for a little piece. Once I couldn't hide my spots anymore with different hairstyles, I decided it was time for a wig. I started wearing it to work and no one could tell that it's a wig! Or if they can, they don't act like it. Two weeks after I started wearing the wig, I decided what was left of my real hair wasn't doing anything for me and shaved it off. I am so glad I did - what a relief and feeling of total freedom!

Allow yourself the time you need to move through the steps of acceptance. You'll get there in your own time.

hugs!!

Comment by Petra on May 21, 2010 at 2:35pm

Krissi, the same thing happened to me when I first lost my hair at 18. I was in class and someone very loudly pointed out that I had a bald spot in the back of my head. I was mortified - because like you I thought I was covering it up pretty well . I remember a friend of mine coming to my defense and after that no one in my class ever mentioned it again. My hair did grow back and then 17 years ago I lost it all again. I wish I would of been more upfront about my condition and not have tried to hide it as much as I have. It would of made my life so much more easier. I think about all the things that I have not done because I was afraid - of people finding out or not wanting to do things because how could I with a wig on. I just recently took a vacation from my wig (I did wear a scarf) and it was wonderful - yes I got a few stares from people but I just put a big smile on my face and always got one back.
Remember Krissie, there will always be people out there that will make comments, whether it be about your hair, your body etc.......they are either ignorant people or are just trying to make themselves better by putting others down and we don't need to give them the time of day.

Comment by K3YZ - Keisha on May 21, 2010 at 5:08pm

the same happened to me ... in school last year, i was still wearing a ponytail, trying to work some combover style, but one spot was alot larger than the others, and took a little more time to brush my ponytail in the right direction to cover it.
well, that morning, i was in a rush. so i brushed my hair, and shot out the door. i really wasnt even thinkin about my spots that day. she (the ringleader of the meanies) sits all the way in the back of the class, and decided her most "civil" way of bringing my spot to my attention was to holler from the back of the room "keisha! you got a bald spot or some sh**? your hair looked jacked in the back!" i couldnt even turn around because i was so upset. i was trying to come back with a witty comment before the whole back row of the class was like "yea, i see it too. i been seen that." like it was a movie premiere. ha. i remember one girl just laughing, while trying to say "thats so mean, you guys." i just turned around, and sighed, and said "i really thought you girls were alot sweeter than that." and excused myself to the washroom to fix my hair. afterwards, they never spoke to me, you know, unless it was school related.
it just goes to show how much some people need to push other people's buttons to entertain themselves, or their friends. it's a shame. but i think the best way to approach the situations is to be all cool as possible, as much as it hurts. because it's something we are living with, something we have accepted, and can't expect everyone else to be as accepting.
we're here for you, hun!!

Comment by Tallgirl on May 22, 2010 at 6:50pm

You could always answer back sweetly, "Oh! Did you realize your lack of discretion and your insensitivity are showing?"

Comment by Krissie on May 23, 2010 at 3:23am

U know what tallgirl...i should have said just that! but she is known to be that way to others as well. she is a very ugly person inside and out if u ask me. but oh well....we just have to keep on keepin on.

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