what happened to me? for the most part of this year i have been so strong....... im losing it...... i feel ugly and icky constantly, i feel depressed and i am sick of feeling different.... my eyelashes are gone now... i have some regrowth but dont know if it will fill in, cause of course we all know that doctors dont know a damn thing with this stinkin disease.... so im losing my hair at the same time it is growing.......
and then i feel like im being a big baby, where did all my strength go?

Views: 13

Comment by Mary on September 23, 2009 at 3:36pm
Well said, Aimee! It's absolutely "fake it til you make it". I still go up and down. It's taken me awhile, but the up times far outnumber the down. Hang in there.
Comment by Mary on September 23, 2009 at 3:45pm
Lindsay, in case you never saw it, you might find this blog helpful:

http://www.alopeciaworld.net/profiles/blogs/inspirational-words-from

It's about an interview I read with Michael J. Fox. It really helped me put my situation in perspective, and he has some great thoughts about dealing with illness.
Comment by John M. on September 23, 2009 at 9:26pm
Lindsay, I'm really sorry you're feeling down and out. I think ANYONE on the forum can relate in one way or another with the sentiments you've expressed. For the most part, I've ALWAYS been an upbeat, easy-going kind of guy. However, this AA has gotten the best of me at times. My positive-vibes that I used to have in abundance have often times been fleeting in the face of this. That said, even in times of darkness, there's sometimes light. We just have to look for it. Though I don't have the words to help you feel better straight away (though I wish I did), I know things will get better.

Here's to you, and hoping that the strength you once had and knew comes back 10 fold. Hang in there, cheer up, be well.
Comment by Carolyn Ferrie on September 24, 2009 at 1:04pm
Hi Lindsay,
Don't worry about it too much, its happened to me several times, I feel like I have accepted it for a while, I feel up again for a long time, then all of a sudden I'm down as far as I can get again, feel really down and get angry again , I hate myself but then all of a sudden I feel really good again, so I guess its normal for all of us to feel this way.I wear a wig all the time, I feel great with it and go along for weeks and its like I don't even think about it, then like I said, all of a sudden it hits me again and I don't even want to get out of bed, but most times it only lasts for a few days then I fight it off again and go on for anther while so I guess there will always be down days as well as up days, but I have more up times now than down so that feels good.Hope you feel better soon, and know that there are lots more that feel the same so its not only you, its part of the whole life of have AA.Hugs to you!!!
Comment by Natalie on September 24, 2009 at 4:12pm
Hi Lindsay,

As much as I enjoy not having to shave and not having to deal with washing my hair everyday, I am pretty upset about the recent loss of my eyelashes/eyebrows, too. All I can say is that you are not alone :) Try to keep on smiling, girl!
Comment by Andrea on September 24, 2009 at 6:15pm
Oh man- you pretty much stated exactly what I deal with... I'm having some improvement, I think, in regards to what my friends, family, and boyfriend tell me, and I feel that some of spots are getting smaller. But still, as I swipe at one of my fallen hairs on the keyboard, I do have to agree with you, Lindsey- there are days I can deal and I honestly don't feel sad and I have a good day, but then there are the days when I go to public places, like during the journey to my bi-weekly college class or just going out period, that I feel the most pressure... I wear hats to hide the unsightly patches on the top of my head, and I am always thinking things like, "Oh, if my hair was normal I could wear that really cute outfit. But my hat would clash or look stupid with that dress." I have plans for myself when my hair comes back again. Who knows, I may just be in denial. I mean, there is no guarantee that my hair will ever be what it was two years ago. But for right now, I am holding onto hope. That's all I can do.
I send out my love to you, Lindsey. These lapses in our ability to deal with having alopecia are only normal... I have been told by someone very close to me that God only gives one a difficult task because he knows that s/he can deal with it.
You've got friends here. ^-^
Comment by Mary on September 24, 2009 at 7:24pm
Hi again, Lindsay. I hope you're feeling a little better. I wanted to mention that I think getting permanent makeup eyeliner and eyebrows really helped me deal with my eyelash and brow loss. I've always had really dark eye hair, and never wore much makeup, so when I lost my lashes I felt really bad.

And, you never know what will happen...I'm regrowing a few lashes and some brows after losing it all.

Just remember how beautiful we all felt at the National Bald Out in San Diego. You looked great!

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