Comment by Robert on September 9, 2009 at 4:38am

I agree with Rosy, you are not stupid. It's a natural reaction to get upset over alopecia.

If you're stupid then so am I as I have shed tears over this condition.

If you're like me, you will have good days and bad days. Just look forward to when the good days outnumber the bad.

Take care

Comment by Robert on September 10, 2009 at 5:40am

@Aimee - I know ;0)

It just show that the good advice that I got from the great people on this forum is beginning to sink in, and just a few months into my AA journey (I wanted to type hell instead of journey), I can pass on this advice.

This is a wonderful forum - I just wish that I'd never had to discover it though!

Hope you're having a good day today.

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on September 11, 2009 at 2:13am

HI Gretchen, There is someting about the realization that you have no control over a situation that makes us stop in our tracks and surrender to our emotions. It is normal to feel the way you do. I remember when I was diagnosed I managed to get out of the office to the elevator and as soon as the elevator was closed I lost it. I sobed the entire hour and 1/2 way home. I agree with Robert, hold on and look forward to the days that the good days will outnumber the bad ones.

Comment by Melissa Francis on September 11, 2009 at 8:51am

Hi Gretchen :)
It is a stressful experience, the 'not knowing' and 'not having control'. And according to a lot of websites that talk about treating alopecia in various ways, depression and anxiety are supposedly 'normal' consequences - whatever that means - of losing one's hair.
We are essentially programmed as we grow up to analyse ppl and care about our own appearances. When this happened to me two months ago (losing my hair in much the same way that you've described) and I didn't understand it, once i had processed the relief that I wasn't sick and dying from it, those feelings gave way to EXTREME anxiety about whether my husband would find me attractive, whether I could handle my job (police) with a shaved / bald head if it comes to that one day, anger at the dermatologist for not being more kind and lacking a bedside manner and reassuring me a little bit...
I don't think anyone can truly understand exactly what anyone else feels on an individual level. But if your partner and family are supportive and even just understand a little bit of it, then they will help you and reassure you against all those fears, whatever they may be.
In my recent experience, it helps (especially when one is married to MY husband :) lol!) to be precise and articulate about what things you need reassurance about, what you are frightened of, what will help you, and what can make you upset, however irrational.
I recently posted on another alopecia website that people need to be responsible about how they share their experiences - I posted in response to someone expressing rage at being asked re chemotherapy, cancer, etc.
I was encouraged that another person on the site responded and stated that she too had these experiences but always tried to answer the questions with a positive reply that increased people's awareness about alopecia. I think it is important to let the people that love and care for you know HOW they can help you, and what you REALLY need, once you work it out. Because once those fears and anxieties are made smaller, everything seems much easier, less scary, and you can start taking control of other things in your life again instead of falling down emotionally. (I might sound like a know-it-all here, but I'm not - it's been about a week since I last cried about this over my wedding photos where my hair was long and looked great)
Keep smiling, hug your partner, and hold on til the emotional rollercoaster slows down. (all of us are riding with you)
Light and love,
liss
x

Comment by Kath on October 12, 2009 at 4:11am

hi there I am from Auckland an my hair feel out suddenly like this too. I was 30 when it happened so very strange and for no reason at all. did all the specialist thing but really they didnt seem to know much either. It is really hard at the beginning ad I cried lots - especially every time a damn shampoo ad came on the TV! Things do get better, you do adjust and you move forward. Keep asking questions here and everyone will help - keep smiling. Kath

Comment by Gretchen on November 13, 2009 at 12:00am

Sorry I havent got back to you all, but just wanted to thank you all for all of your support. It helps so much

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