I've been keeping my real hair really short lately... my wig doesn't seem to move on my head so much if my hair is short.

And I noticed the places where I do have hair don't seem to be growing as quickly, and the bald spots that showed up last spring seem to be taking a much longer time to grow back. One is almost completely grown in, and I can feel peach fuzz on the other, but it's taking a long time.

But yesterday, I noticed another bald spot on top, a little to the right. It's getting a little hard to tell which ones are new anymore because there seems to be a lot of them these days.

It's not as frustrating as it usually is because I have so many right now, but sometimes I just wish I could get a real hair cut in a real salon. My coworker came back from a day at the spa with this amazing hair cut and the best highlights, and I felt a really strange pang of regret. Even when I do have my own hair, I generally don't go through all the trouble to color it because it seems like a waste of money just to have it all fall out again.

I'm not wallowing in any kind of self pity, it's just some times even the most positive person has an off day. And it's easy when I have a bad day at work to let other things bug me too.

I know I should quit hoping that I'll one day get to go without my wig - even if it's just for six months - but sometimes, sometimes I think I would give anything to pull my hair back or spend 30 minutes in the morning styling it.

I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow and return to my normally bubbly self, but today I woke up in a funk.