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I like you, but I'm scared to get to know you...because I'm bald
I haven't attempted at a new relationship since my last.
And I'm scared to try.
Should I tell you later?
Say I do open up and get to know you, but the constant thought of my secret is on the tip of every word I've said.
I don't want to reveal my secret just to have you run the other way.
But if you run then that lets me know it wasn't meant to be, right?
No?
Yes?
Should I tell you sooner?
Well I've asked that question to a ex bf and he said...
Ex-Bf: "Well if I still loved you I wouldn't care, but since I don't, I don't know how I would feel about it. Why are you asking me this? Are you bald?"
Me:"Noooo...Just asking a question."
I'm bald as muther funker man! -_-
This sucks.
Most times I'm ok with being bald.
It only gets aggravating when I'm ready to get to know someone and I can't fully be myself.
I have these gorgeous lace fronts that look like it's really my hair and people believe that it is.
They want to touch it I shy away...
Not fair.
I shouldn't complain. I'm not dying, right?
If this wig came off in front of someone I liked...I'd prefer death.
I miss wearing cute hairstyles, guys loved it when I did my hair all cute.
I never thought in a million years that I wouldn't cuddle someone because I was bald.
I don't want to be laying behind and you're me staring at the back of my wig noticing...
"Hey, she has no fine hairs on her neck. Hey her hairline is odd looking."
I don't even like compliments.
The make-up.
The drawn on eye brows.
The eye lashes.
They are me, but then aren't.
But they don't see that
It's not their fault. No one expects someone to be bald. Most of the population of people have hair.
I can't get to know you. I do. I tell you. You leave me alone. I'm hurt and discouraged and what not.
He's on to someone with beautifully long flowing hair.
No hair, he couldn't handle that.
No eye brows, he couldn't handle that.
No eye lashes, he couldn't handle that.
No hair, eye brows, or eyelashes... definitely couldn't handle all of that at once!
I hardly can.
Dam!
I guess I'll just keep telling myself.
"I don't need a man."
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Comment by Denise on November 7, 2013 at 10:42am
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Hi Jasmin
Thank you for your reply.
You will get to where you are going and need to be in your own time. My Ex-husband never wanted me to wear the wigs/weaves it was me that was wanting that.....I have only been like this for the last 5 years, but I would never look back...Accept me how I am, because I have to accept you as you are i.e new partner.
So do not be so hard on yourself, it is a process and you need to go through it at your own time and pace.
You will find your own way to get through this journey you are on.
Take care...keep us updated and we are all here if you need us.
Dee
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Comment by Jasmin Flower on November 7, 2013 at 11:02am
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Thanks I really do feel better from the comments! My sons father claimed he didn't care either. And I somewhat believed him...But I didn't too. I'm really scared of rejection.
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Comment by Carla on November 7, 2013 at 11:04am
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So know the felling. I prefer not to ware a wig. Because its not me. I belive people will like me for me or they can get lost. I can't c my self dating. Because the consent thought of why would a guy be interested in some one who is bold.
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Right. But a wig is me in a certain way....We are meant to have hair..Things have just happened that we don't. Before I lost my hair, I was self conscience about my body. Now I have no hair and the same body...It's been reversed. We are not our hair....But I don't think we should have to feel odd because we are lacking in certain areas. I just want to be comfortable in my own bald skin first I guess. Then I will be less concerned about what so called "men" think about me.
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Comment by Keisha on November 7, 2013 at 11:15am
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I feel our stories are the same. Started loosing the hair and shaved it off then started incorporating the wigs. I have a love hate relationship w wigs. I know its not easy. The guy that I'm dating now has seen me bald. After awhile u get tired of hiding. I have that I don't give a eff feeling! But I'm defintely not ready for the public yet. Ppl will come up to me and compliment me on the wig and at the same time ask about my "real hair". I really don't find myself attractive without the hair. I'm just keeping it real, but I do feel anyone that I'm w would have to know up front. He has to take it or leave it.
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Totally agree. It's not easy. You just need to set your mind to it. As hard as it is
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Comment by spyflys on November 7, 2013 at 4:01pm
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Trust me, no guy ever can register that there are no fine hairs leading up to your hairline, or that it is "odd". Not to be brash, but men aren't that observant, and are not focused on your hair. They stay interested in your confidence and personality (ok and your body too) but not your hair. I've been bald for years, and although I am single, it is not because of that fact. My best advice, if you can, is to just stop thinking about it. Sounds hard, but once you stop focusing on your flaws and start on your strengths, it becomes easier to do so.
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Comment by Shelly on November 7, 2013 at 9:30pm
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I recently stepped outside of the box (my comfort zone) and it's worked so far! I met a man at a bar & the next day for lunch I wore a different wig. I asked him in the middle of the date if he noticed anything different about me & he replied, "you got your hair done". I told him no & that opened the door to explain alopecia to him. That was 9 months ago & he still adores me!
I hope you find something that works for you!
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Aww that's really a sweet story!! That gives us girls hope!
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Comment by Marie on November 8, 2013 at 2:49pm
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The key is, don't keep it a secret. When people compliment my hair -- which they do all the time, WAY more than my bio hair -- I say, "Thanks. It's a wig." I say it with a big smile. In fact, not 90 minutes ago, I was getting on a plane, and when I passed the flight attendent at the door of the plane heading to my seat, she said, "I love your hair, It's so cute! I want that cut," I told her it was a wig and that I wear them all the time, they are great fashion accessories. She said, "I so want to do that. Do you know how long it takes to style this? (pointing to her own hair)" She later came to my seat to talk about wigs.
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