Alopecia World
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I like you, but I'm scared to get to know you...because I'm bald
I haven't attempted at a new relationship since my last.
And I'm scared to try.
Should I tell you later?
Say I do open up and get to know you, but the constant thought of my secret is on the tip of every word I've said.
I don't want to reveal my secret just to have you run the other way.
But if you run then that lets me know it wasn't meant to be, right?
No?
Yes?
Should I tell you sooner?
Well I've asked that question to a ex bf and he said...
Ex-Bf: "Well if I still loved you I wouldn't care, but since I don't, I don't know how I would feel about it. Why are you asking me this? Are you bald?"
Me:"Noooo...Just asking a question."
I'm bald as muther funker man! -_-
This sucks.
Most times I'm ok with being bald.
It only gets aggravating when I'm ready to get to know someone and I can't fully be myself.
I have these gorgeous lace fronts that look like it's really my hair and people believe that it is.
They want to touch it I shy away...
Not fair.
I shouldn't complain. I'm not dying, right?
If this wig came off in front of someone I liked...I'd prefer death.
I miss wearing cute hairstyles, guys loved it when I did my hair all cute.
I never thought in a million years that I wouldn't cuddle someone because I was bald.
I don't want to be laying behind and you're me staring at the back of my wig noticing...
"Hey, she has no fine hairs on her neck. Hey her hairline is odd looking."
I don't even like compliments.
The make-up.
The drawn on eye brows.
The eye lashes.
They are me, but then aren't.
But they don't see that
It's not their fault. No one expects someone to be bald. Most of the population of people have hair.
I can't get to know you. I do. I tell you. You leave me alone. I'm hurt and discouraged and what not.
He's on to someone with beautifully long flowing hair.
No hair, he couldn't handle that.
No eye brows, he couldn't handle that.
No eye lashes, he couldn't handle that.
No hair, eye brows, or eyelashes... definitely couldn't handle all of that at once!
I hardly can.
Dam!
I guess I'll just keep telling myself.
"I don't need a man."
</3
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Comment by Lawgirl88 on November 9, 2013 at 1:03am
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I saw this and I had to say something. I hardly ever comment, but this spoke to me because I can so relate. It's soooooooo scary to think about telling someone. You don't want to tell them too soon, but you don't want to wait because then you'll be emotionally involved and heartbroken if they leave. All I can say is- there are guys who won't care! Someone who really likes you, won't care!
I dated a guy for almost four years and he did not care. He knew before we even started seeing each other. When we did eventually break up, it had nothing to do with my hair loss. Guys like this are rare, but they are out there!!!
When I first lost my hair at the age of 17, I was devastated, obviously. I remember telling my dad that no man would ever want me. My dad said to me "if your mother had no hair, do you think I would've cared? Absolutely not!" He would've loved her just the same. And I believe that. The right guy will not care. It might take a while to find him, but I promise he's out there.
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Comment by Lianne Morgan on November 9, 2013 at 3:55am
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I had the thickest lovely long hair u cud imagine, then had a miscarriage in may after carrying 4healthy babies this was a shock, then mid june my husband noticed a bald patch on the crown of my head about the size of a 2p I was devastated, wore my hair up to cover it best I could, then my eldest daughter told me it was getting worse so I used my cameraphone to see what she meant and was shocked to notice it getting a lot worse, docs called it patchy alopecia and kept saying it would grow back. Kept asking myself how could my husband still find me attractive like this? He reassures me all the time tho that he loves me for who I am and married me 'in sickness and in health' :) I have now lost approx 65% of my hair and had it cut short, wear hats everytime go out and got my 1st appointment with dermatologist 3rd dec. Gonna ask him if its possible to get a wig on NHS. Anyone know if that's poss ?
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Dunno how to add pic for profile :s
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Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on November 12, 2013 at 2:26pm
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There is a lot of great advice here. I agree that if there is one thing most of us can do to find acceptance with our alopecia is to stop hiding, whether you chose to wear a wig or not. Yes, you can chose not to a wear a wig and still "hide", I did it for years. I chose not to wear a wig, but distanced myself from relationships. When I stopped hiding in plain sight things started to change.
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Comment by Jasmin Flower on November 13, 2013 at 12:10am
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I love all the recent comments. And love that my 1st blog post spoke to many other woman like myself. We all live different lives but are going through the same exact thing!
@Keisha Right!!! I can reveal it to my sisters friends and a few of my friends especially the ones I'm not interested in lol It's like if I want to care about you I wanna lie =/ I need that I don't give a eff mentality when it comes to this. I'm scared what the entire public would do...
@spyflys I don't know, the guy I'm talking to now is all in my wig!! He literally is like trying to dig up under my wig and feels my hair line he can tell it doesn't feel right. He's Hispanic/Italian those people are used to woman with gorgeous long thick black hair with many fine hairs all over. He keeps asking me questions and I'm failing at telling him what it is. I did tell him that I don't grow eye brows cuz he asked why would I shave them off just to draw them on and how I should grow them back lol so I just said oh I don't grow any...Couldn't find the strength to add the rest of my story while on that topic.
@Shelly Wish I could have read this before my recent adventures, maybe I could have revealed myself...I kept hiding.
@Marie It's easier when your telling girls than a guy cuz then they start asking questions about your real hair
@Lawgirl88 Totally lol Like for real! Wish I had a dad to reassure me, my dad doesn't even know :(
@Lianna So sorry for your loss that is stressful. I wish I could hurry and get seen my doc. I've diagnosed myself, haven't been seen about the reasons I'm bald by a professional yet.
@Cheryl I agree with you so much. But I'm young and won't follow suit before its to late :(
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Comment by Moon on September 28, 2014 at 8:36pm
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my thoughts exactly i think this may be the hardest part of being a bald woman to me anyway my dating life has never been great but now that im bald things have become so difficult for me
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