Comment by Tiffany P on April 22, 2010 at 4:57pm

Sorry they are giving you so much crap over something very little. i mean as long as your not wearing a top hat and it looks crazy why should they care? i mean your there to learn not start the next fashion trend. hopefully they can provide you with a letter stating the special permission that way you can have it in your bag in case this happens agian you know? at first at my job because i started wearing a scarf all the time poeple made comments and i finally had to express to them that as long as i was getting my job done and i got permission from my boss they needed to mind their business. well have you talked anymore to your mother about shaving and getting a wig or cute scarves? anyway agian i hope it will be solved soon and hope the rest of your week goes great :o)

Comment by Keeley Tomlinson on April 22, 2010 at 5:20pm

yeah I have it's in the works...I've got my stepdad on side now and he's talking to her about it...trying to get her on side which is good...I've got to discuss it with the head first....just incase I want to walk into school with no hair. >:(

Comment by Connie - Chris' Mom on April 22, 2010 at 5:33pm

The first day my son wore a hat to school I had to go to the office and get permission. They took the letter I had written, wrote "approved" on it, made a copy for the office, one for his file and one for him to carry with him in case anyone confronted him about it. The teachers were all notified, but the copy of the note gave my son a sense of peace when there was a substitute teacher in a class. I wish you luck in dealing with this. You shouldn't have to worry about such things!

Comment by Tuesday on April 22, 2010 at 10:09pm

Oh, man, Keeley - this sort of thing Ticks me off. I am so sorry you are experiencing this crap. I'm a mom of two young boys - I bet your parents are angry and frustrated too. I like the sounds of Connie's son's letter - something that is physically on you at all times so you can "flash" an approval at any teacher. Your school's supply teacher sounds very naive and insensitive. Honestly, this is human rights here. I feel your frustrations and hope things are remedied soon.

Comment by Michelle on April 23, 2010 at 2:04am

Keeley my heart goes out to you. I know from my side being 26 and newly diagnosed with AA it gets to you. I'm thankful that my AA didn't start when i was at school. In South-Africa they will never allowed me to wear a hat/headscarf in school. Because there is so little known about Alopecia in this country and woman that have it always covers it up and never talk about it (short minded if you hide it and tell no one your hair will grow back) The only support i get is from this site. I really hope your school will look at you unique situation and look inside there hearts and let you where a hat/headscarf and leave you alone. You are unique and a beautiful girl. good luck

Comment by Tony on April 23, 2010 at 12:28pm

So sorry to hear this Keeley. Glad you felt comfortable enough on this site to let it out. Misunderstandings happen, more often than not out of ignorance of a circumstance rather than out of utter malice. I'm thinking that the teacher will feel terrible once they are apprised of the situation. Connie's suggestion is a wonderful one as it gives you a way to defuse the situation before it gains any momentum...not to mention the peace of mind. I hope today is a better day for you.

Comment by Erica on April 24, 2010 at 10:36am

Everyone is really nice here and have given you balanced and sensible responses which you should probably follow but I'd like to throw into the mix a childish but ultimately rewarding attitude that I would, without doubt adopt. I like a fight, especially when it comes to self-perceived rights!

I think the attitude you've been shown is just completely typical of education staff in this country (maybe the world over). Remember that teachers love to shove their authority down your throat but also remember that they entered the teaching profession because they like all the touchy feely stuff about encouraging children to grow and develop into well balanced adults etc etc. So, I would go back into school, to the meeting, with a letter describing how 'belittled' this teacher made you feel, how she singled you out because of your 'difference' and how you expected better from a teacher in authority but really you're confused as to whether she is just the same as people who may bully you about your difference (whether you get bullied or not, throw the big B word in there). I say to put it in a letter because if it were me, I would have problems delivering it verbally due to the potential for emotion to be involved and it also means that your head can't interrupt you to dispute a point. If you can rationally point out how the substitute teacher's behaviour was unacceptable (if you were an adult, it would be completely unacceptable but due to the fact that your head is also a teacher, they will probably think it socially acceptable to talk to people in this way), then you should be owed an apology. Ask for an apology to be made in writing, and ideally you want two - one from the school itself and one from the teacher concerned.

The reason that I have such a bias opinion against teachers is because I listen to kids I work with week in, week out complaining about the type of attitude been shown to them. I understand that teachers have a hard time with truly disruptive kids and that strict discipline is required to ensure that the whole class can learn. However, sometimes just talking to people instead of shouting them down works and there's no reason to go in guns blazing ALL the time. Sometimes I think they need to be called on their attitude from time to time and as long as it's done in a mature manner, then that's okay.

BTW, I take no responsibility for you following my rant-like advice in any way, especially if any nutso head teacher makes a decision to expel you!

Comment by Tuesday on April 24, 2010 at 9:56pm

Nice advice ERICA!

Comment by Tallgirl on April 25, 2010 at 11:13pm

LAST YEAR A BOY IN ENGLAND HAD THE SAME PROBLEM, AND PEOPLE ON THIS SITE RALLIED AROUND HIM BY WRITING LETTERS TO THE SCHOOL. Research on this site or ask the originators if they archived the discussion.

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