Comment by Bald and Fabulous AKA Terri on April 14, 2011 at 11:12am

Its a shame that you didnt get an appropriate response from your friend. She should have responded by saying you look beautiful, which indeed you are!!
As far as making sure your wig stays secure, maybe try tying a scarf around your head and tie it under your chin. Very vintage and chic, like the days of Audrey Hepburn. And maybe come those really hot summer days, try just wearing a scarf.
Good luck with your journey, and remember you are unique and beautiful.

Comment by Tallgirl on April 14, 2011 at 1:30pm

The gauzy scarves (kefiya?) the women wear in hot Israel were an answer for me in the over-100 degree heat of California. You can twist the ends, bring them up to knot or wrap at the front...very cute. The material doesn't slip off, and you can even tuck in the back to look like a bun. Works for all ages, esp. if you tie in another color scarf or tuck in a silk flower.

Comment by Christy Ingram on April 14, 2011 at 2:44pm

Hi Janet, I hope things are going better for you! Just try to remember until someone has to walk around with Alopecia, they will never understand or appreciate what we are going through! Sometimes friends can be... well human...There are many beautiful people pictured on here, with and without scalp coverage! Play around and see what kind of looks suit you. I have been riding a continual emotional and mental roller coaster with hair loss. I too shaved my head last summer (I didn't cry that day, and have only briefly a couple of times since) what's the point of keeping a barely there stringy mess that doesn't protect one's scalp??? I felt ugly afterwards, but I had also felt ugly before. But could take control over that stringy lifeless mess!
There are pluses to not having to deal with that little bit of hair. I can work out and get cleaned up, and put my choice of hair on pretty darned quick.
I wear wigs all the time when I am out in public. Most of the time at home I go "topless" if it is warm, today there is a chill so I am wearing a wool cap my daughter knit for me.
As for outdoor activities. I ride quads. I have been checking up wraps and scarves to wear under baseball caps. I am figuring a wig would have to be pretty short to survive windy play time! But check out a few wig salons and let them know what you like to do. I swim so I am looking for cool looking caps or wraps that would stay on when diving, I am hoping there is really something like this! Keep your chin up, and message me or another friend on here if it'll help. I keep trying to remind myself that things could be worse. Take care, Christy

Comment by Jasmine on April 14, 2011 at 3:27pm

What you did takes a lot of courage Janet.Very few people can do it and you should be proud you are one of the Bold and beautiful crew now.And as for your friend is concerned,I wonder if she could ever have as much courage as you.People talk and give opinions coz it is the easiest thing to do.So dont bother about the rest of the world.Your happy and comfortable with yourself and thats all that matters.And besides how many people have the option of having a different hairstyle everyday??
And about going rafting and other active outdoor stuff,there are apparently some suction wigs.I read about them in someones blog,just start a blog about them, Im sure you will get all the answers you need.Good luck..!!

Comment by Anna from Yorkshire on April 14, 2011 at 4:29pm

Good Luck Janet. As long as you are happy, you cares what other people think.

Comment by Pamela Rosse on April 14, 2011 at 4:53pm

First of all Janet, Welcome to Alopecia World, you have found a great & fabulous resource.
I see you have met my dear friend & mentor Mary Marshal, this is a lady who can really address many of your concerns, she is one of the most active women I know.
I can answer your white water river rafting question, GO!!! Don't let this damn disease stop you from being you.
When I go wwrr, I don't wear my cranial prosthesis (a.k.a. wig) in fact I have pretty much stopped wearing it ( that has not stopped me from taking on my Insurance company for coverage), sorry off that soap box & back to subject matter. I went on line & found some great scarves & head covers, I found a great place out of Canada, the family came up with them out of necessity, one of their children has alopecia. I found them through the NAAF, their called Nammu Swimming Hat, I have them in many colors, to go with my suits, they tie just like a scull cap, look great & stay on, I use them when we go snorkeling as well as riding on the back of my husband's motorcycle. Nammuhats.com. They worked for me look them up see if they might work for you.
There are many scarves from great places on line, scarves are really in right now, Mary has a video that shows many ways to tie & wear them.

I'm sorry your friends are not as supportive as you had hoped, I hope they come around, one of my friends called & asked what do I do, I don't know how to help you, I told her, you just did, your here but all I ask is you may not agree with what I do but support me in the decisions I make. I have never had to shave my head,
when my hair fell out it came out completely, clean as a whistle, I have never had to shave, yet. There may come a day that I may have to.
As I write this & look at your photo, I disagree with your friend, I think you look beautiful.
Good luck telling our folks, they may surprise you they have a way of doing that. Your a strong Alopecian Woman, it takes a great deal of inner strength to deal with this disease of ours.
I hope my suggestions help but most of all, don't let Alopecia stop you from living your best life.
Best Wishes Janet.

Comment by Petra on April 14, 2011 at 5:52pm

Hey Janet, it sounds like you have a really good attitude...Newly bald and happy about it. I am pretty sure that your confidence will shine through and that will make people more accepting of your new look. Your friend was pretty ruff on you....maybe that is just the way she is and she probably would of said the same if it was a new hair style that she did not like. Many people here go au natural...that way there are no issues about the fear of a wig flying off while roller coaster riding or white water rafting. If you are not comfortable with that maybe wearing a bandana or scarf, just don't stop doing all the things that you love doing.
BTW cute dogs :-)

Comment by Mackenzie on April 14, 2011 at 9:51pm

Sorry to hear that your friend wasn't supportive . You look beautiful ! Glad you are happy about it . : ) Maybe you can put a bandana over the wig to help it stay on . Or maybe put the tape if it has a spot for it . Mine has a place but I haven't tried it yet . I hope things go good when you tell your folks .

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on April 15, 2011 at 1:13am

Hi Janet,
Sorry that your experience was not as positive as it could be.

If there is one lesson that I have learned, it is that sometimes you have to go against the grain even when others are not with you. I knew when I stopped wearing hair pieces that there would be some consequences. Such as the occasional snickers, sometimes being mistaken for a man, rude comments, or people asking me if I have cancer.

Those situations are my reality and I can expect them from time to time. It is no longer a shock or a source of pain to me when it does. I have allowed the stings to eventually lead me to a place that I consciously chose this path and everything that goes with it, the good and the bad.

The goal is to get to a place where we are no longer swayed by what others think. Our decision is ours and final, what others say, do or think is unfortunate, but not a deterrent.

So now you have had a setback. You know what it feels like for others to not necessarily share your aspirations. Feel the sting, remember what it feels like, know that it could happen again and tell yourself that it is ok. Then decide what your next step forward will be.

I am glad that you did not have to deal with the disappointment alone; instead you had thousands behind you ;)

Comment by Mary on April 15, 2011 at 10:22am

I just saw this blog, Janet. You're doing great. I believe so strongly that we can't let our lack of hair hold us back or make us miserable. I know you've probably seen this video, but check it out if you haven't: http://www.alopeciaworld.net/video/in-the-mood

My only living relative, my brother, wasn't supportive at first. He thought I was going out in public bald to make some sort of "feminist" statement! But, once I explained how hot wigs are for me, he got it.

Every day you'll have more confidence and eventually this new bald woman in the mirror will just become who you are. It took me awhile, but now I just don't give a flying you-know-what! ( ;-)

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