Comment by lovelyjan on November 6, 2011 at 9:42pm

Rodeli, congrat!! You took that first step,you're closer than you think. I started out the same way. Now I am living life as a bald woman and loving it. Yes, the earrings is a must for me.

Comment by Michelle on November 6, 2011 at 11:30pm

I just went out with a hat on today. I always wear the wigs and sometimes scarves but today I did the hat thing and took off my hat in the middle of the store to try on some others. Baby steps indeed.

Comment by Susan Innes on November 7, 2011 at 10:37am

The stories are wonderful; thank you, everyone. A bald-head favorite covering during the hot days of summer are wide-brimmed cotton hats which are good to prevent skin cancer and aging (though not too effective in my case)... and these come with tie bands to keep them on during the windy days or unexpected encounters with immovable objects (or the dog). Some even have aeration holes so we can feel the breeze (well, can't say rustling through our hair) gently caressing our lovely smooth "uncarpeted" areas.

Yes, Aimee, I believe you wore your wig for 10 minutes to drop off your kids; I've dashed for the bedroom at the sound of the doorbell, bending over not to be seen until the hair conversion takes place. The neighbors and most friends have seen me bald but some of the delivery people show expressions that are too much to bear. I feel like responding with another similar response, like in the movie, ET, when the little girl sees ET in the closet and screams. That's what I'd like to do...scream, "Oh, my goodness, you have hair!" I have to be careful here as grieving widows have a real mean streak that comes out periodically:). Really glad to hear of everyone's progress and success. Hugs, Susan

Comment by Mary on November 7, 2011 at 10:02pm

WAY TO GO, Rodeli! I think you'll be surprised at how things may continue to evolve for you as you take these baby steps. Once I started going out in a scarf, it became easier for me to go out bald, and once I went out bald a few times, I was amazed at how quickly I got used to being bald in public all the time. My earring collection expanded really quickly, too!

Comment by Rodeli on November 7, 2011 at 10:50pm

Thank you all SO much for your words of encouragement and cheer! Aimee and Susan, you made me laugh because I have done the same things! My favorite duck and escape to my bedroom to grab a wig to put on. So today, I was home all day (still sick) and didn't feel like putting on a wig again, so I just wore knit hat and headband even when my son's guitar teacher came over. I did go up to my room because i was on the phone but not before the teacher came in and I said he to him and told him I would be upstairs if they needed me. Aimee, thank you for your words regarding your kids' friends coming over and just wearing a scarf or something. My son is seems to be okay with that too even though he does not really want the other kids to know I don't have hair under "there." With the neighborhood kids, especially the little ones, do you explain to your neighbors to tell their kids or just wait and see if they ask. My neighbors kids are always coming over and have even been over for sleepovers. So far I have not said anything to them. But one night the 4 year old got up and came into my room because she got scared and wanted to know if she could sleep with me. I had my nightcap on and she didn't seem phased by it but I think in time she may question why I have things on my head so much. But I think what if my cap had come pff in my sleep as it often does and she had walked in and saw me bald and was already scared--would I have scared her more. Has anyone had any experience with how to deal with neighbor kids especially when they spend a fair amount of time in your home or have sleep overs at your house?

Comment by Mary on November 8, 2011 at 12:32am

Our neighborhood kids have seen me bald sometimes when I get the mail, but I surprised a lot of them Halloween night. I wore my horns on top of my head, a long black dress, lots of makeup - the younger kids kept asking if my horns were real. The older ones kept telling me how great it looked. One group couldn't believe I wasn't wearing a full face mask. Here's the photo:

http://www.alopeciaworld.com/photo/trick-or-treat?context=user

Comment by Norm on November 8, 2011 at 7:28am

Rodeli, maybe you shouldn't try to over-analyse it too much. If the kids see you bald, so what.... you can explain it to them if they ask. I mean, face it, as they get older they're gonna see a lot worse/scarier things than a bald head! :)
Another way of looking at it is that they're at an impressionable age - they've not really formed many prejudices yet, so the sooner they see you au naturel, the easier it is for them to accept, before the "bald women are wrong" programming gets written into their heads. And that'll also have the knock-on effect of making it better for any baldies they meet in the future, too, right?

Mary - good pic! But I thought that was the natural you, and the other pix on here are you with makeup etc. trying to fit in...?? ;)

Comment by Susan Innes on November 8, 2011 at 10:09am

I hope to attend a parents' session at the 2012 NAAF conference just because I never had any children and in the past have felt left out:). Seriously, through the years, parents have called me with similar situations. Sometimes the children accept the condition but don't want their friends to see mommy without her hair. Children are so uninhibited and unpredictable, Dr. Seuss confessing that he found them frightening...lol. While at a restaurant, complaining about being too warm, my great niece turned to me suggesting that I take my hair off:). I smiled and said that although it was a wonderful suggestion, I'd leave it on for now. In response to Norm's comment, this summer my cousin's grandson asked why all the women at the pool were wearing black bathing suits to which she replied, "They make us look thinner."...his response being "but, grandma, they don't." (She was hoping he wouldn't comment about all those "spider" veins which scare all of us.) Then there was the little girl down the road on a spring day who asked why I was wearing a fleece hat with my replying that it was to keep my head warm. Then she wanted to know why I didn't have any hair. I explained that in my family, we sometimes lose our hair while assuring her that hers would stay. She smiled and rode off on her bike. (My fear has always been that a child would be afraid that this could happen to them.) Anyway, like all children, I, too, have many questions:).

Mary, I loved the picture and stories about the children. You certainly represented my alter ego these days:), so I cautiously dressed as a "sweet" dog with floppy ears to which an adult remarked, "Your ears bounce up and down when you laugh" (which only increased the bouncing). Then there are the parents down the road who annually escort their children with their cone head costumes; it certainly would be easy to just add a little extended point at the top, wouldn't it? Hugs, Susan.

Comment by Tallgirl on November 8, 2011 at 10:35am

Sometimes it backfires if kids have mental challenges. A vice principal once told me to show my bald head in class, and that the students (junior high) would be understanding. Well, no. They became cruel, and the administration didn't support me. Some of the kids lived on my street, and they would yell, "Wig! Wig!" when they saw me, would throw eggs at my property (the broken egg trail led to their house...dummies), and smear mayonnaise on my windshield of my van. I was SOOOO glad when they moved...and when I no longer worked at that school.

Comment by Norm on November 8, 2011 at 11:21am

TG, that's my argument - catch 'em young, and it's just background noise, and becomes no big deal - they'd certainly be less inclined to go through the whole "dislike for the unlike" routine. By "junior high" age it's already classed as "not normal" (whatever THAT is).

As for the V.P. - given that he/she was making personal demands of you that didn't have any effect on them, I'd have said, "OK, but only so long as you show your arse in class". Same thing, equal potential humiliation! Bottom line (ho, ho) - you only do what YOU'RE comfy with.

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