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Comment by Rodeli on November 9, 2011 at 10:00pm

Tallgirl--I can totally relate! When I was a kid I had several extremely disturbing and upsetting incidents with other kids (bullies). When I was in about 1st grade, I was walking to school with some kids in my neighborhood when a small group of boys began picking up stones and small rocks and throwing them at my head to try to knock my wig off and making fun of me. I actually got hit by a few of them before the kids I was with made a circle around me to try to protect me and started yelling at the other kids. Then another time when I was just a little older my grandmother and I were walking past an elevated playground where some boys who knew me from school saw me walking by and they picked up some cans and started throwing them down at me and making fun of me. As if having this happen in front of my grandmother wasn't bad enough, the worst part was that they hit my grandmother with one of the cans in her head and that got me really upset. So not all kids take seeing a bald kid or woman or one wearing a wig too well. Not that I have had that problem much as an adult, but as a kid, I was the object of a few kids making sport out of my baldness and wearing a wig. I guess that is why I am sensitive to my son's sensitivities about being made fun of.

Comment by Tallgirl on November 8, 2011 at 2:04pm

Norm: I am starting younger with my grandson. I told him, while babysitting, that my wig was off because it was too hot. The next week, I noticed he got a buzz cut for youth football, and didn't seem to mind that it was a total change from his Beatle-style do.

Comment by Tallgirl on November 8, 2011 at 1:58pm

You should have been there on the day the VP finally came to the class to put everyone on lock-down until someone confessed to being the person who was throwing the little blue, oil-based clay balls into my lovely long Tango wig when I turned to write on the board. In true courtroom style, finally one tattling boy pointed and yelled, dramatically, "SHEEEEEEE did it!" at a girl across the room. Audible gasps. Girl got suspended, class had to shape up for the rest of the year. When the school didn't honor my hire for the next year, I got them all back by removing my hat at a staff meeting and making the teachers and unsupportive staff have to look at my bald head for an hour. I didn't care anymore.

Comment by Susan Innes on November 8, 2011 at 1:50pm

OY....now I'll always associate the phrase "bottom line" with that pun.( But, very funny, as always, Norm:).)

Tallgirl, I've volunteered at a lot of schools and it's hard to imagine a VP being that crass. I happened to read a newspaper article about a woman who gathered friends to make fleece hats for lower-income neighborhood schools. I joined this group which later began sewing hats to give to children at the annual NAAF conferences (drafty air-conditioned hotels), Therefore, all the women knew of my disease which would often become part of the discussions while at the schools, with the VPs visiting the "sewing room" where the children were selecting their assorted colored fabrics. Not one VP has ever "even asked" me to do anything! Most are very aware that differences in appearances can cause bullying and other negative consequences and therefore require special circumstances and preparation for all parties involved. It's a good idea to educate young children to respect people with differences but this was totally unacceptable. Thanks, we all learned from your experience, but very sorry that it happened to you. Hugs, Susan

Comment by pauline vargas on November 8, 2011 at 1:26pm

I'm proud of you I hope I can have the courage to do the same

Comment by Norm on November 8, 2011 at 11:21am

TG, that's my argument - catch 'em young, and it's just background noise, and becomes no big deal - they'd certainly be less inclined to go through the whole "dislike for the unlike" routine. By "junior high" age it's already classed as "not normal" (whatever THAT is).

As for the V.P. - given that he/she was making personal demands of you that didn't have any effect on them, I'd have said, "OK, but only so long as you show your arse in class". Same thing, equal potential humiliation! Bottom line (ho, ho) - you only do what YOU'RE comfy with.

Comment by Tallgirl on November 8, 2011 at 10:35am

Sometimes it backfires if kids have mental challenges. A vice principal once told me to show my bald head in class, and that the students (junior high) would be understanding. Well, no. They became cruel, and the administration didn't support me. Some of the kids lived on my street, and they would yell, "Wig! Wig!" when they saw me, would throw eggs at my property (the broken egg trail led to their house...dummies), and smear mayonnaise on my windshield of my van. I was SOOOO glad when they moved...and when I no longer worked at that school.

Comment by Susan Innes on November 8, 2011 at 10:09am

I hope to attend a parents' session at the 2012 NAAF conference just because I never had any children and in the past have felt left out:). Seriously, through the years, parents have called me with similar situations. Sometimes the children accept the condition but don't want their friends to see mommy without her hair. Children are so uninhibited and unpredictable, Dr. Seuss confessing that he found them frightening...lol. While at a restaurant, complaining about being too warm, my great niece turned to me suggesting that I take my hair off:). I smiled and said that although it was a wonderful suggestion, I'd leave it on for now. In response to Norm's comment, this summer my cousin's grandson asked why all the women at the pool were wearing black bathing suits to which she replied, "They make us look thinner."...his response being "but, grandma, they don't." (She was hoping he wouldn't comment about all those "spider" veins which scare all of us.) Then there was the little girl down the road on a spring day who asked why I was wearing a fleece hat with my replying that it was to keep my head warm. Then she wanted to know why I didn't have any hair. I explained that in my family, we sometimes lose our hair while assuring her that hers would stay. She smiled and rode off on her bike. (My fear has always been that a child would be afraid that this could happen to them.) Anyway, like all children, I, too, have many questions:).

Mary, I loved the picture and stories about the children. You certainly represented my alter ego these days:), so I cautiously dressed as a "sweet" dog with floppy ears to which an adult remarked, "Your ears bounce up and down when you laugh" (which only increased the bouncing). Then there are the parents down the road who annually escort their children with their cone head costumes; it certainly would be easy to just add a little extended point at the top, wouldn't it? Hugs, Susan.

Comment by Norm on November 8, 2011 at 7:28am

Rodeli, maybe you shouldn't try to over-analyse it too much. If the kids see you bald, so what.... you can explain it to them if they ask. I mean, face it, as they get older they're gonna see a lot worse/scarier things than a bald head! :)
Another way of looking at it is that they're at an impressionable age - they've not really formed many prejudices yet, so the sooner they see you au naturel, the easier it is for them to accept, before the "bald women are wrong" programming gets written into their heads. And that'll also have the knock-on effect of making it better for any baldies they meet in the future, too, right?

Mary - good pic! But I thought that was the natural you, and the other pix on here are you with makeup etc. trying to fit in...?? ;)

Comment by Mary on November 8, 2011 at 12:32am

Our neighborhood kids have seen me bald sometimes when I get the mail, but I surprised a lot of them Halloween night. I wore my horns on top of my head, a long black dress, lots of makeup - the younger kids kept asking if my horns were real. The older ones kept telling me how great it looked. One group couldn't believe I wasn't wearing a full face mask. Here's the photo:

http://www.alopeciaworld.com/photo/trick-or-treat?context=user

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