This regrowth phase I am going through, I keep being a little obsessed with. But looking in the mirror I seeing patches of clear growth and lots of what I call ghost white baby hair.

I just been thinking how I seem to be growing a bit of mohican hair, all on top none on sides, I see often the fashion of woman shaving the sides of the hair, and think to myself my body is trying to copy that.

I remind myself daily not to get excited, that it can go as quick as it seems to have appeared. I am still not sure what part of my life triggered this change.

I often wonder what would happen if I dyed all the little ghost hairs brown would that make it all so much more noticeable... but then I think don't be silly it would never stick to them small silly hairs.

Oh how I wish it would all grow back and stay, but then I don't think I could cope with the patches. I think to myself it would have to be all or nothing. But I know from experience and being on sites like this that it is not a all or nothing thing,

Alopecia has a mind of it's own, it teases and keeps you on your toes. It will never be all, or nothing. I have always kept some hair somewhere. Throughout I have always maintained this small patch of hair right at the back of my head, which never grows longer then a few inch but never falls out either. I have never shaved it, it is a little comfort that I have kept that little part of my hair. Even the grey ones... I think I would truly be upset once the alopecia claims that last little bit.

I just wish it would claim the parts I don't need, like underarms, toes and bits in between. The random beard hair? What is that all about? Why does my body take the bits it needs and sends random hairs in places I really don't.

For now though I will keep stoking the soft fluff on my head and keep wishing it will grow and stay... but deep down wishing if it wasn't all coming then I don't want to just take part of it on the ride.