Mourning the loss of my hair

So, I am officially a member of Alopecia World....Just recently, Alopecia invaded my world.

It was a Friday, right before Christmas when I began complaining that my head felt sore (like it had been up in a tight ponytail). A few days after Christmas (Tuesday), I noticed an excessive amount of hair come out when I was rinsing the shampoo. The next day I noticed a single bald patch on my part. Thursday, when I was rinsing my hair, a CLUMP fell with a splat and I screamed for my husband. We both stood in disbelief at the wad of hair on the tile. Now we could see 3 bald patches on the top of my head.

A week later, I was able to see a dermatologist who confirmed my fear....it was Alopecia Areata. I started my first round of cortisone shots that day. I cried through the whole process, not so much for the physical pain, but the emotional pain I was feeling. I was thinking that I would rather have my arm cut off then lose my hair.

The month of January was all about finding ways to comb over my hair to hid the bald patches. Now, it's February and I have surrendered to wearing hats. Every day, I find new dime sized patches throughout my head. I assume they will also grow to half dollar size like the rest....exposing more and more of my scalp.

I continue to mourn the loss of my hair....I am so sad.....

Views: 813

Comment by Anne Emm on February 28, 2012 at 7:25pm

Hi Michele. It seems like this has started for us at pretty much the same time. It was right after Christmas that I noticed all the changes in my hair. I feel exactly the same way that you do. Like a piece of what always made me "ME" has been just ripped away. But just being on here and knowing that I am not alone in this has already helped me tremendously. We will get through it. One day at a time if we have to.

Comment by Dana on February 28, 2012 at 8:33pm
Hi Michele....yup I know exactly how you feel similar to me last Xmas and I remember posting a discussion saying somebody say it's gonna be alright well it really helped me to get all those comments I truly felt "okay" others are coping I too can do this and you will there is soooo much info on here I'm still learning and adjusting but I have people now here and it's a great comfort I echo Mary.....day at a time :)
Comment by Molly on February 29, 2012 at 6:49am

Hi Michele, I know how you're feeling! Mine started this past September. I've been shedding steadily for over 5 months now, I have several patches on the top, back and sides of my head. I've had 5 rounds of the steroid shots, been using special shampoos, conditioners, prescriptions, Rogaine, changed my diet...everything possible. I still have hair but lose so much every day, i wonder for how much longer. It's so frustrating! But you're not alone, and there are so many people on this forum to help you through it! It is sad, but you'll be ok. Turn to your family and girlfriends for support.

Comment by Alliegator on February 29, 2012 at 10:26am

Welcome! We are here for you! I think we all have to mourn the loss in the beginning. You are definitely not alone. I agree... it will get better. Wigs, scarves and hats can be so much fun. I hope your husband is supportive, because that will help. I went from cutting my hair shorter and shorter to shaving it all off. That helped me cope with my hair loss.

Comment by Pamela Rosse on March 1, 2012 at 11:32pm
Hi Michele & welcome to AW, this is a wonderful community. I too like Mary am going 4 years since I lost my hair. I too lost it during the holidays it was Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to me from me. In November I had a lumpectomy, thank goodness all turned out ok, doctors suspec the anesteciia triggered the alopecia into full gear, four weeks later my hair started to fall out just liike yours. 4 weeks later I was bald as a bean. It is devastating, you dont know what to do, you feel ugly, questioning so much. I saw a counselor as I needed tools to cope but the best thing I found was this community & all the people I met here. The love & support is so wonderful & knowing your not alone is huge. Hang in there Alopecian Sister you will find your stronger then you ever thought you could be.
Comment by ROSE WOSE on March 2, 2012 at 11:44pm

What a great way to express your feelings...I was attracted by your caption...and it is true but something i never could put into words quite like that. I have had Alopecia for close to 33 years.Somedays ( however nto many anymore i mourn the loss too). The autoimmune deficiency manifestes itself in many ways. Hair loss is but one of them...TBTG for AW...all this time I thought I was alone in this struggle . It is so heartwarming that others understand and are here to support one another. All you need to do is reach out. Thanks for your blog..it made me smile today and that is good

Comment by asdf234 on March 31, 2012 at 12:47pm

Karen Smith recommended a direct custom wig maker in China. I just took the plunge and contacted them about a custom topper. The customer service lady was so sweet and helpful! She walked me through all the details of the order. I haven't recieved it yet (it should take a month ), but a 14" virgin european hair topper for $148 is an awesome price. I was in a fog for a long time about this. Contact Karen Smith on this site. She has been a wonderful support for me. Her daughter has had alopecia for a long time and she knows all the tricks to dealing with wigs.

Comment by Classical Anne in NC mountains on May 4, 2014 at 4:15pm

Michelle, you are so beautiful -- your photo and your words.  It's been 2 years since you began this reaching out.  How have those years been for you?  Are you willing to share the journey?  Whatever the outcome, I hope you find yourself loved.

Anne

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