hey!
I am generally a very happy person with a great outlook on life... but I at times I get really down as everyone here does.. so I wrote a bit of a poetic piece to describe the pain ..

What it is like to have alopecia

Losing your hair, losing your femininity
Losing your normality
Years of teasing and feeling like you are being stared at
Having to realise that you will always feel ‘fake’
Hiding behind your wig, fake eyelashes and crayoned eyebrows
Feeling that you cannot feel sorry for yourself, others have no hair and have SUFFERED to be in this place
Wondering if you will ever have the feeling of running your fingers through your hair
wondering if there will ever be a day where you can not worry about your eyelashes coming off in the corner,
your eyebrows rubbing, or sweating off
Your wig may LOOK real, but it doesn’t FEEL real
After one day your head will sweat a LOT, it will make you feel dirty
You will never feel clean
You can never just easily have a shower and feel clean and be ‘natural’
Natural to you is feeling like an alien, looking like a blank canvas
Why me?
Us women already have to have enough insecurities already, without this added one
Wondering whether people are looking at you in a good way or because they can tell what you are hiding
Feeling deceptive
Telling people of your alopecia, and watching them at first look at you differently
Telling the opposite sex and the fear and nerves that consume you in those moment, waiting for the reaction
Your partner telling you that you are beautiful, and feeling like you are only beautiful CONSIDERING you have alopecia and still look okay
You will never be able to swim again in comfort with eyelashes, eyebrows or hair
You will never be able to go to theme parks
You will never be able to take part in extreme sports
You cannot even exercise without worrying
Your wig could fall off infront of EVERYONE
Humiliation
Anxiety
You can not do what a normal person can
Everything is more difficult for you
The simplest thing in life- like putting your hair up is the most difficult thing for you
I dream of having hair, of having my OWN eyelashes that don’t fall off, or that actually are on the bottom of your eyelid too
dreams of having hair on my eyebrows, dreams of washing my face and being able to close my eyes and wash the entire thing without losing all of me.
Dreams of putting on makeup, or moisturiser without avoiding my eyebrows and eyes.
Dreams of not being scared of contact sport
Dreams of being a normal 21 year old who isn’t limited by something
Dreams of feeling pretty