Comment by Sam G on August 9, 2010 at 4:12pm

Hi Barbara, don't have any words of wisdom for you but wanted to send you some support. 8 Years is a long time to be unhappy, it does matter. I am quite a strong outgoing person but I found it hard to go out bald at first. It may be an age thing, as part of other conditions I have I've put on quite alot of weight. That combined with reaching 40 and losing my hair made me feel quite lost as to what I was about and had to offer, who was I? I'm still struggling, I used to enjoy flirting and as a fat bald woman it doesn't quite work the same! What I've focused on is the other parts ofme. The trauma's I've been through have made actually pretty wise and a calm person. My experience counts for alot. I've had negative comments but I put them into perspective, they're always from people who would have said something else negative about me if I had hair and is always about an issue they have not me. Who you are is not about whether you have hair or not.
Did you have insecurities before you lost your hair?
Sam

Comment by Chefpam on August 9, 2010 at 9:16pm

I know where you are coming from. I am still shedding and drs don't know why. I was told by rheumy today that it could be a combination of my AS, thyroid, and anxiety. So he gave me anti depressants which I have always been against. I told him if I was able to work, didn't have pain, and didn't have to take piles of hair out my head each day I wouldn't have anxiety. I then went out to eat and could feel the stares. I really don't think this will get any easier for me unless God helps me...I feel a huge agonizing pain in my heart 24-7. I am amazed at how others can cope and accept it....so sorry for your pain. But know that you are not alone...Hugs and prayers.

Comment by Tallgirl on August 9, 2010 at 9:19pm

Happy Birthday! Sto Lat! You are the you that you are now. For now. So, be who you are, write/paint/sing your thoughts for this time period and for your family. Go out and teach others. Create something. What all makes a human? More than the exterior. You are 50...so, go make your mark on the world! Or even in your own town or church. Who needs help right now? Who is crying for a different reason right now? Someone needs you....and we ALL like to be needed!

Comment by Karen Smith on August 9, 2010 at 10:52pm

I think that it is a tremendous loss and some days are better than others. When something else lousy is going on in our lives then the whole alopecia problem seems to be bigger. If you can get permanent eyebrows, these really helped my daughter. Her swiss lace wigs are not too hot according to her. I am really sorry for your loss and somedays it does feel unbearable. My daughter's hair all fell out last year during her senior year of highschool. She had 2 good cries about it and then said," you have to find a way to be happy no matter what happens to you." She is a pretty happy girl and she has no hair.

Comment by Nari on August 10, 2010 at 6:05am

*hugs* It's been about two weeks for me, and I too don't think I have it in me to truly accept this... I understand your pain. Happy birthday and sincerest wishes that things get better for you. :)

Comment by Mary on August 10, 2010 at 11:32am

You don't have to live this way, Barbara. Emotionally, I didn't really begin to heal until I started going out in public as I am - bald. I didn't BEGIN to accept this new reality and move on until I just did the "fake it til you make it" routine, held up my head, and acted as if my appearance were nothing unusual. I lost my hair at age 55. I'm in such a better place now than I was 2 years ago!

I, too, was absolutely miserable in wigs - tried very hard to wear them, and just couldn't stand the heat. I got tattoos and don't have to paint on my eyebrows or eyeliner. I brush a little powder on the brows quickly, then some sealer to make them stay, and I'm ready in less than a minute. When I swim or exercise, the tattoos are there (see scuba photos on my page).

Where to go from here is on with your life. You CAN make peace with this - I know because I didn't think I could, and I did. I've been where you are. I still have "hair dreams" and still get angry or frustrated that I don't have any hair, but I have moved on and am enjoying life. Check out the photos from last Sunday that I just posted.

Also, check out my blogs about Michael J. Fox and Roger Ebert. Stories like theirs have helped me put my baldness in perspective, big-time!

Take care,
Mary

Comment by Barbara A Helnore on August 11, 2010 at 1:03am

Thank you all for the well wishes, words of wisdom and prayers. I do have alot of good days but the bad ones really get me down. There are times I laugh at the whole thing and make jokes. I guess everyday life trials and tribulations are just that. I am really hoping and trying to get more comfortable with me and am also considering the tattooed eyebrows - my 80 year old aunt in CA had it done -why not me?-lol
Barb -

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