It Has been about 3 months to the date that I last signed in and stated, I saw some small loss and missing eyelashes. Today, I went to the dermatologist for a follow up,. I decided to take a break from the treatments. There has been no regrowth, no eye layers remain on my right eye, and I have a small pony tail out the top of my head. I can let it down and still wear a wide headband/wrap, which is a plus. However, I'm really pretty freaking sick of it. This is the third time I have gone thru the regrowth and loss cycle and I honestly just don't care anymore. I have so many other wonderful aspects to my life, everything in fact is great, except the damn alopecia. I feel I am getting close to simply shaving what's left and calling it a day. I did it once before and it was very freeing, but it carries it's own difficulties suddenly going tue hat/scarf route. Argh. This whole thing is just old. . I'm 32 have 3 children, a lovely husband, happy home, bl, blah, blah. But I just want the courage to shave my head baled and walk out in the sunshine for all to see.

I am amazed when I casually mention my alopecia to people who have known me through the loss/regrowth cycles.
, and they had. No idea. Some thought I had cancer and were of course releaved. Others simply no clue. I don't know what's worse. I'm sick of having to explain this too. I also wish my scalp were prettier, after so many years of harsh treatments I have scars and divets. Should've saved the time and money and left it well enough alone.

I miss swimming and getting my head wet on a hot day.



My son pulled my hat off during the fireworks last night and I grabbed him and scolded him. It made me sad that he has to help keep this secret too. It was pitch black and no one saw anything of course. Poor little guy just couldn't see over my big ass bow.

Thanks for reading.