Comment by Tallgirl on October 11, 2011 at 5:56pm

Then keep your condition to yourself, seek free help groups for the lonliness aspect, and just say you like wigs better than your own hair. It's still the truth, right?

Comment by Kayla on October 11, 2011 at 5:58pm

I dont want friends who are my friends just because they believe a lie.

Comment by MiNAH on October 11, 2011 at 8:08pm

By the looks of your picture you look very good bald. You owe nobody and explination. Your Trichotillomania is a condition many share with you. So add yourself to that group, if you haven't already and get some peace of mind. "YOU ARE NOT CRAZY" Then we, are all crazy! My brother thinks I'm crazy literally, because I shave my patches off, and walk bald. I do not care anymore. I NEED TO LIVE MY LIFE ...NOT THROUGH OTHERS PERCEPTION. YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME. Take the advice fom tallgirl!

Comment by FANCY1024 on October 11, 2011 at 8:40pm

Hi Kayla, No one can really understand this disease you have unless they have it also. I think it’s a great idea to join a support group with others whom have this disease. I’m sure there are plenty of others with this diagnosis who feel the same way. However, I’m also here to talk if you want too. I don’t understand why you do it or what causes the impulse to pull your hair out but I’m not the type of person who judges others. I agree that I would not want others to like me due to a lie either so I do understand your need to tell the truth. Feel free to contact me anytime I’m usually on this site several time a day. Hugs Di

Comment by Lucky1000 on October 12, 2011 at 1:56am

Hey, i think you should meet some people that have the same condition ?

Comment by Eliza alisa abgail on October 12, 2011 at 8:57am

you aren't crazy. Beautiful. I was sure those who have alopecia have problems too. I know even hairy people do stuff like bite nails and other stuff sometimes without knowing. Its difficult when its during when you sleep. If people call you crazy why bother hanging around them? Its true though i don't understand your condition but i don't understand alot of languages too. And i can still live with them.if you need a friend I am here. And there is a group on here that would be looking for another member.

Comment by Eliza alisa abgail on October 12, 2011 at 9:02am

and apparently you are already member of...http://www.alopeciaworld.com/group/trichotillomania

Comment by Dena on October 12, 2011 at 9:24am

Kayla, hair does not the person make - I'm 53 and have been living with alopecia now for over 17 years. It was so hard at first, but you are not alone by any means - let your family in - let them support you and trust me, if you think someone is being your friend just because... well that's not much of a friend - and why you think you are being fake when you wear wigs I don't understand - if anything it's more for the outside world because unfortunately, some people just can't deal. Over time you'll come to the conclusion that it's their problem if they can't. It took me a long time - I had bouts of hair loss when I was much younger - and you know how cruel kids are - but you do reach a point in your situation where it's o.k., and I know exactly what you mean about how expensive the wigs are. But in certain situations they are called for and I do think you look pretty cool bald - can't say the same for me - head not shaped so well - anyway, if you need or want to talk or vent feel free to msg. me - I'll gladly be a support pillar for you!!! We all need them at some point. Dena

Comment by Rosie on October 12, 2011 at 4:06pm

My freshman year of high-school a there was a girl with trich who always wore wigs. She reached out to me because someone had told her that I also wear wigs but at the time I was kind of closed off and reluctant to talk about alopecia with anyone, even my friends. We chatted over facebook a little but never ended up getting together. I was secretly mortified that she even knew I wore a wig and worried she would tell someone! I regret this so much!!!! At the time I thought we were in different situations. Now I realize that we were basically in the same boat because we had both lost our hair for reasons we couldn't control and could have learned a lot from each other and given each other lots of support. Sorry to ramble on but I just wanted to let you know I don't think you're crazy and I'm here if you want to chat. Anyone who does not want to be your friend or thinks your crazy has literally no compassion and is probably not a good person to have as your friend anyway. The girl I know with trich is doing really well now. She was always very popular in highschool and everyone envied her style and how pretty she was. Her hair has grown back now and I think she is in college.

Comment by AJ on October 12, 2011 at 4:44pm

Hi Kayla, my heart goes out to you. Loneliness is one of the horriblest feelings. But please believe this - it won't last forever. Lots of us experience it at some stage in our life (I don't mean 'us' as in people with alopecia, I mean all people, in general)
It's great that you have been trying to be pro-active in making friends - that's not always easy and takes guts, so good for you. I'm really sorry it's not been working out so far, and can imagine how frustrating and upsetting that feels. Do you think perhaps it would help to try a different approach?
Personally, I often choose not to tell new people very personal information unless I am sure I trust them or have built up a bond - unless of course you are discussing a common ground and it feels right and natural that the conversation should take that course. But perhaps you will feel less vulnerable if you were to withold the 'whole story' about your hairloss until you have built a trusted bond with somebody.
To a lot of people, these things can come as a shock. They might not know how to react, or may never have heard of it before and are a bit taken aback. But if you are choosing to share this information with somebody who is already your friend - by this point they will know you well, they will care about you, and they will be supportive of you, and value that it's taken you courage to tell them.
It is not a lie to withold the whole story initially. If they ask about the wigs, you could just say 'oh, I have an unusual hair loss condition, I started losing hair XX years ago, but I'm fine in every other regard' - that should be enough.
Let the friendships grow on compatibility, shared interests, or gradually getting closer by talking more and more - take the focus off of your trich! Right now, you are very concerned that your trich is stopping you making friends. But maybe if you took the emphasis off of this aspect of yourself, and let the rest of your personality shine through, you will feel more confident and this will naturally enable friendships to develop more easily.
And come on here and rant and rage about your hair loss!!! Nobody will ever judge.
Good luck x

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