I am sad to say that I've had another relapse, after so many months of not pulling, unfortunately I'm suffering from combination of two different types of hair loss, Trichotillomania, and then Alopecia areata, The parts I don't pull, fall out on their own, the doctor thinks its from so many years of damaging hair follicles and now they just can't handle the weight of my own hair once it grows to a certain point.

I think I've just given up, I'm going to be like this forever, because now there is no avoiding bald spots, even if I could stop pulling, it would just come out on its own anyway, it's not exactly the best motivation for breaking a crippling habit

My hair grew out to a certain point, about three inches, and I had left it alone, letting it grow excited to finally have a (mostly) full head of hair, the bald spots I did have were small and easily cover-able with the three inches I did have, then one day I woke up in a pile of my own hair, my scalp started itching and I pulled out a spot of hair that is about three inches wide by two inches long.

It's impossible to cover, right at the crown of my head, then on the top several spots started appearing again, in the shower, and in the bed, it took barely a few days and it was gone again. (Not completely) I just had major bald spots that were everywhere around my head.

I made a decision I promised I wouldn't do again, I went ahead and shaved it, I could walk out in public easier with a fully shaved head then I could desperately trying to cover bald spots that can't be covered.

That's when I realized something.

CANCER is the only real publicly acknowledged hair loss, really? most people haven't even heard of Alopecia, much less Trichotillomania, you tell someone about Alopecia they give you the "Oh... there isn't a cream for that or something?" You tell them you have Trich and they give you a business card for the nearest nut-house.

Cancer is a horrible, terrible disease to have and I feel horrible for the women who have to suffer through it, and lose their hair, I'm not trying to make light of their condition or compare it as being easier to manage then ours, but what I'm saying is, WHY can't Alopecia be a nationally aware problem? Why are we sitting on the back burner because we don't have a terminal disease?

Insurance will help cancer patient's but they wont help us, they don't recognize Alopecia as being a serious, and degrading enough problem to help cover the cost of wig's and other hair loss solutions which as we all know can be very expensive if you want anything of decent quality.

Even my doctor wasn't entirely familiar with Trichotillomania, he tried to prescribe me anti-depressants. (Which I've tried, and no it does not work).

I don't like people asking me if I have cancer every time I go out without a wig and tiptoeing around me like I'm going to fall over, I have to go through the awkward explanation that no, I don't have Cancer, I have something you've never even heard of and they always kind of look at me like I'm lying, or like they are thinking "Then why did I even care?"

Look I don't want to make light of Cancer, it's horrible, I just feel that Alopecia NEEDS more recognition, at least from insurance companies and doctors, It seems like no one is walking to try and find a cure for us, because it's not "that bad" of a problem, It's so hard dealing with something with no support, after all everyone in my family has never had this problem and they try to minimize it by saying thing's like "Well at least it's not cancer" and "At least you still have wigs" Because you know, that makes it "so" much better. Perhaps I'm acting like a spoiled child.

What do you guy's think?