Hello everyone,

I know that this topic has been repeated several times, but now I'm taking a look at my life now compared to my pre-AA years. I have only had it for 2 years (I am 21 now), and I feel like it has defined me, but I do not feel as happy. It is not even noticeable to the public, which is the toughest part I believe.
I almost feel angry for no reason, and I don't want to be. I feel like I'm depressed when I am in public. I don't feel as energized and don't laugh as often. I feel like I am pushing some of my good friends and my boyfriend away from me (emotionally). Sometimes I feel guilty if I even mention my condition. Sometimes friends and family will ask how it is, but I avoid the topic by saying "it's fine." I do not want to be the downer at a dinner or a party.
Just recently I drew a picture which defined my issues. Several people were clueless about the condition but liked the picture. Others who were aware that I had the condition were most effected and surprised by the sudden abstract artwork (for I am a wildlife artist). I recommend artwork to anyone having these feelings, especially if it is hard to talk about it with others. I also posted a short video on youtube about my own condition, it was 'filmed' in the summer and is poor quality, but I believe putting it out there is a great release (even if I sound like a fool).

Hmmm.. well that's all I have to say for now. I had this floating around in my head while trying to sleep and just had to share it I guess. Good night !