Sad and feeling overwhelmed.....

Hi everyone! I'm new to the group here. After years of fighting with thinning hair and hair loss I finally gave in and bought a wig this week.  My mother has Alopecia and I knew at a young age there was a good chance it would happen to me but never expected it this quickly.  My youngest daughter died 13 years ago and that's when I noticed it getting worse. My Dr. confirmed it was Alopecia and that the stress I was under triggered it. I was amazed at how emotional I felt over losing my hair.  I mean, hey....I just lost my teenage daughter shouldn't I be able to deal with just about anything now?  It only made me feel even more depressed.  I tried many different things and hairstyles to hide it. Finally getting to the point of using hair powders to camouflage the spots of no hair but it was getting to the point of coloring the entire top of my head. My hair dresser and dear friend kept encouraging me to try a wig so I finally did. I wore it for the first time yesterday and today. I received many compliments on my hair (which I really didn't know how to answer). Part of me felt guilty that I was hiding something but these were new friends I haven't known long and I wasn't up to sharing my story. My new wig is very similar to how I was wearing my hair just fuller and now with bangs so everyone things I  just had a makeover. I guess that is good but now I have this fear of "being found out". Not that I've done anything wrong......These feelings are driving me crazy.  I just don't know how to deal with this.  I keep telling myself it's only hair and that it could be so much worse but it doesn't really help.  I guess my question is for those of you who have decided to wear a wig, how long did it take for you to feel comfortable wearing in and not self conscience? I am in my late 50's and I live in a 55 + community where I had been talking a water aerobics class twice a week but now I'm not sure if I should continue.  Do I wear my bald hair in the pool and just share with the others I'm now wearing a wig or do I get a backup wig just for the pool so they don't know.  I've tried working with scarfs and don't like them.  Any tips you could give would be appreciated. I want to live again and not hide behind this disease. My husband has been supportive but I don't think he can really understand the impact of not having hair does to a woman.       Thanks for taking the time to listen.

Sadness.....:(

(New to this so I'm not sure if I should be writing on my blog page or in discussions. I apologize for posting twice.)

Views: 108

Comment by Tom on May 31, 2017 at 8:26pm
Hi Sadness.
I understand what your feeling. You said your husband is behind you and supports you. And I'm sure you have other friends and relatives who are there for you also. My only advice is hang on to those people who love and care about you. Remember that they are the only ones who matter. No matter what you do. Wig no wig or whatever makes you feel OK those people will be there for you. And I hope that knowing they are there gives you the strength to go out in the world and do what you want and need to do. Advice from a goofy old guy if it helps great if it doesn't I'm sorry just disregard it.
Comment by PsPs on June 1, 2017 at 7:43am

actually I dont know how to advice u .. but I undestand ur feelings & ur husband"s support . he is so much like my husband . May God bless them both . I think u can wear a swimming bonnet for ur water aerobics . for the wig , dont feel uncomfortable as long as u look good in it & as long as u r satisfied with ur newlook . how u look is ur own bussiness not anyones except u either it is real or wig.

good luck  :)

Comment by Sadness on June 2, 2017 at 1:07pm

Thank you both for your encouragement.  The only people that know right now are my husband and hair dresser. I'm to the point though that I'm going to have to lower my pride and just be me in my community. My water aerobics group are also my neighbors so I may just start wearing a scarf and explain to them I have Alopecia. I know it's not something I should be ashamed of.....it's just embarrassing.  BUT it could be so much worse.  It's just hair right? I have found a way to make my wig less shiny. Now if only I could figure out how to get my head not to itch as much when I get hot. Sigh.....Taking it one day at a time. 

Comment by PsPs on June 2, 2017 at 5:53pm

me too , only my husband & my family know about my condidtion . I think its embaressing too & I dont like to explain my conditions to others ,, u know Iam muslim & we wear scarfs & that helps alot . nobady will know whats under the scarf

but I have a question ,, whats water aerobics ?

Comment by PsPs on June 2, 2017 at 5:53pm

me too , only my husband & my family know about my condidtion . I think its embaressing too & I dont like to explain my conditions to others ,, u know Iam muslim & we wear scarfs & that helps alot . nobady will know whats under the scarf

but I have a question ,, whats water aerobics ?

Comment by Sadness on June 2, 2017 at 10:29pm
Water aerobics is an exercise class in a swimming pool. I don't like explaining myself to others either. :(
Comment by Tallgirl on June 14, 2017 at 3:37pm
I do not live in a community where neighbors can see me wigless, and I choose my friendships, confidantes and activities carefully. I would probably keep hubby on hand for support, and choose times in the pool when gossipers are not there. I would also wear a fun bathing cap.

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