I hate the way I look sometimes. I look in the mirror and think ugly. I do wear a wig, and I can't decide if it is the alopecia that is indirectly making me feel bad, or just a natural female thing to do. I sometimes see myself in my wig and think I look like someone in drag, I don't know if I see the wig for what it is, fake, but I see beyond the wig and look at my face and hate it... 

I look at my body and this is something I can control yet I seem out of control and just see myself as fat, then it gets to fat and ugly...

I can't stand seeing myself in photos, which is why I have not uploaded any.

Then I start to break it down, I got no eyebrows, freak, got no hair... then I see stupid hairs on my chin...

I don't know why this sudden mood has come, I haven't looked in a mirror recently I have not seen a photo of myself, I was not even thinking about any of the above. Only after a friend said they got some things from EBay, this triggered a memory of about a year ago going to a wedding. I was going to buy a dress from ebay at last moment changed my mind. I struggled to find the perfect dress (again down to image none of them looked right, within my budget) so I just ended up picking any old one... I have only seen a few pics from that night, my guy looked fine in his suit... me like his drag girl friend... 

How messed up this thing can make some people see themselves when they look in the mirror....