Still do not have the courage to accept my baldness and just uncover and let go.


When my oldest son asked me to let him see.  I hesitated but I pulled off my wig and I looked at him, he just stared as if he did not believe what he was seeing but he was very supportive with me and he said well one day when I get a lot of money I am going to send you to Bosley I promise you momma. How sweet of him. I know that day is far away. I just need to find something that will give me confidence like a wig where I can feel like my own hair, can swim, shower without  taking it off. My wigs slides I have to keep pulling at them. On a windy day it is the most hardest and these wig caps I wear underneath my wigs are beginning to irritate my scalp. Any advice will be greatly appreciated ASAP. Someone have told me to use wig tapes and glues.

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Comment by GardenJess on November 6, 2015 at 3:21pm

I'm don't have much advice on wig wearing, but I can commiserate on the struggle to be oneself, and whether that means feeling free to be bald or looking "normal" with a wig on. When my hair loss got serious, I had small children and no desire to put in the effort and anxiety of hiding my condition, so I have been very open about it. I also felt that I needed to feel OK being me in my own home, and to me that meant not feeling like I had to put on fake hair. I get that some people feel best when they just take on the wig as part of their identity, but to me it felt a bit like trying to change who I was. Most important to me was not feel ashamed of my hair loss and, as distressed as I was/am to model for my children that it is just hair and not something that changes who I am fundamentally. Certainly wearing a wig with ease and coping is one way to model a healthy response. While it was initially hard to bare my head at home, my family has gotten used to how I look. Certainly a transition can be a bit shocking, but then people do get over it. My 4 year old has told me I should always wear a wig because it looks better, and I can just agree with her that it does look better than my own hair, but I don't find wigs comfortable enough to want to wear them full time.

Your subject line makes it sound like you would like to try going bare headed, and there's no reason why you can't take small steps in that direction if you want to. I don't know whether you sometimes wear scarves or other other coverings, but you could try that at home as a small step. One thing I have learned from these forums is that those around you take their cues of how to react from you. If you project confidence or nonchalance, they will likely react as if it is less of a big deal too. Best of luck to you.


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