the significant other

So my boyfriend of 5 months asked me if I want him to monitor my patches. I didn't know what to say. I don't understand my hesitation, but I haven't shown him the patches yet. I had no problems showing my parents, and I don't think I'd have a problem showing someone if they asked to see them....but him. It scares me. It scares me that it'll make him think less of me somehow. It scares me that it might scare him away, that it will make it more of a 'reality' for him and that seeing it as opposed to just talking about it will make him turn tail and run. He told me that he hopes I don't think him so shallow that he would do that. I don't. He's wonderful, supportive, loving. But I can't help but fear that this will be too much for him to deal with. I mean, I HAVE to deal with it. He can choose to 'take it or leave it'. I also fear that it will affect his attraction to me. I also don't think he could handle monitoring it. I know it would hurt him to tell me it was getting worse. I don't want to put him in that position.

Did you feel this way? Or am I just crazy?

Views: 2

Comment by Bobby on March 26, 2009 at 11:19pm
Positive emotions are a 1000 times stronger then negative emotions.(Its been proven) So if this is worrying you a lot, just remember everytime a positive emotion pops into your mind its a 1000 times stronger. So think of a negative feeling or emotion like this 1,1,1, now add positive to it 1,1,1,1000,1,1,1000 the positive emotions will always win.
Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on March 26, 2009 at 11:49pm
I feel the fact that he bought it up, shows that he want to share your life. I think it is a positive that he has offered and as much as it may scare you. I would consider being vulnerable and letting him in. I met rj when I had no hair, so this is how he has seen me. He is man enough to love me with or without my hair and I have to be woman enough to let him. Be careful not to push people away if they are willing to stand with you.
Comment by Stephanie on March 27, 2009 at 10:01pm
Michelle
A good male friend of mine was probably the only man I would let see me without my wig--he was the one who shaved my head for goodness sake. I was so proud to let him see my head when I had about an inch of hair, but of course that didn't last. Now I am bald again, but I won't let him see my head. I too an insecure about my appearance. We are not dating, but we are such good friends, and I too feel like if he sees me our friendship is over because I don't feel like a beautiful person anymore. He's there to support you, let him in don't shut him out.
Comment by Michelle on March 28, 2009 at 9:18am
Thank you everyone for your comments. An update: Well I showed him my patches. It was hard. But he was very happy that I did. I imagine it must have bothered him that I wouldn't let him see them. Anyhow, I'm hoping it's easier each time...as I need someone to monitor them. As I told him yesterday, not knowing what's going on is harder.

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