Dear Blog,

Another 2 week(ish) update...

My spots are now in double figures and now not just confined to the back of my head thanks to a new spot on the top of my head which I found tonight. I'm trying to keep myself busy so that I don't dwell on or cry about this latest development. That's ten spots now in sizes ranging from a small dot to fairly large patches. Up until June this year I only had one large spot. This has really been a sh*t 3 months.

Treatment wise...
- Still using Dermovate on a daily basis. I'm seeing regrowth in 3 spots. Still fine-ish white hair but it is encouraging and am still keeping everything crossed for some "proper" hair regrowth soon. I don't know how much is down to the cream but I can only hope that it is helping.

- Dermatologist - NHS appointment due on 21st but not holding much hope of them doing much really. This dermatologist prescribed synalar (mild steroid cream) to use in any patches that were 12 weeks old or more. Therefore, I would still only be using it in one patch. I wonder how he'll react to me seeking a second opinion. Will he be p*ssed off that I didn't follow his advice???

- Trichologist (recommended by my hairdresser). She is a lecturer in a local college and has been so helpful. Going for weekly treatments which involve massage and heat treatment to stimulate the follicles. She doesn't charge for the treatment which is amazingly generous of her. Again I am touched by the kindness of others. I didn't even know that my local college had a hairdressing department. I had been searching online for a trichologist and couldn't find any listed near where I live.

- Holistic treatment. At my appointment last week she was a little disappointed not to see any dark hair regrowth and is trying me on a different remedy. She said that she would expect to see some dark stubbly regrowth after her first treatment. I don't quite understand how this treatment works but I'll keep taking it and go back to see her in a couple of weeks. After that I'll decide if it's worth pursuing.

- Hypnotherapist. Just had my fourth (and final) session to help with relaxation. I have found this to be helpful but it doesn't stop me stressing when I find a new or expanding patch.

I've tried a lot of things, haven't I? Something has got to work...hasn't it???

I'm kind of surprised about the new spots as hairloss when I'm washing, drying or brushing my hair is at normal levels and I'm not noticing any shedding. I wonder when the hair is coming out?

I really, really, really f*cking hate alopecia. It has taken me from having a very happy and contented lift to one of anxiousness and, at times, misery. I'm down but I will not be beaten. I am going to conquer this. I want my life back.